Parental cultivation and habits are the best or worst education.
Friend's daughter is over 1 year old. He told me that although he didn't like to read, every day he would force himself to keep reading, in order to let his young daughter see her father reading, and her daughter would also like to read and learn.
While lamenting that it is not easy to be a parent, I agree with my friends in this regard, and this action can indeed play a good role model for young children. However, many parents do not understand this.
Qiang Qiang's mother has been very upset lately, Qiang Qiang is only 3 years old, but he is often constipated. When asked about Qiangqiang's diet, he learned that Qiangqiang only loves meat and does not eat vegetables and fruits much. A closer look revealed that there was a reason for the strong picky eaters, and the strong parents had the same eating habits.
Such scenes abound in life. Is it possible that eating habits, words and deeds can be inherited? Of course not, but these can be imitated and learned. The father teaches his son to punch and kick, and the son often fights with children in kindergarten; he asks his daughter to behave dignifiedly and politely, but the mother speaks harshly to the neighbors.
Canadian psychologist Albert Bandura believes that children can learn to imitate human behavior by observing, reading, and listening to others. A well-known study by Bandura and colleagues confirms this view.
In the study, 72 kindergarten children watched two adult role models in groups: one punching and kicking the inflatable doll, and the other quietly playing with the toy, ignoring the inflatable doll next to it.
Since then, children who have been asked to play with the doll and observed violent role models have imitated aggressive behavior, not only using violence on the doll like "role models", but also inventing new acts of attacking dolls, such as shooting at dolls with toy guns.
The family is the first and most important environment for a child to grow up, and it may accompany the child for a lifetime.
A Chinese proverb, "If there is a father, there must be a son", confirms the influence of parents' behavior on children. A few months old children begin to learn language with their parents, about one year old toddler, after the child learns to speak, walk, the tone of speech, walking posture may have traces of parents, this is especially obvious in young children (before kindergarten). Children are in the "atlas era" before the age of 3, and they see people's behavior patterns as maps, and learn various behaviors according to these maps.
Qi family, the first in the slimming.
In "Han Feizi", the story of "ZengZi killing Yan" was recorded. Zengzi's wife went to the market, and her children followed her and cried behind her. His mother said, "You go back first, and when I come back, I'll kill the pigs for you to eat." "When his wife returned from the market, Zengzi wanted to catch a pig and prepare to kill it.
His wife stopped him and said, "I was just joking with my son." ZengZi said, "You can't joke with your son." The son does not understand anything, he only learns from his parents and listens to their teachings. Now that you have deceived him, you are teaching him to deceive people. The mother deceives the son, and the son does not trust his mother, which is not the correct way to educate the child. So Zengzi cooked the pig for the child to eat.
The story of Zeng Ziyan tells us that parents must pay attention to their words and deeds, because this is really related to the growth and education of their children.
In the Four Books and Universities, it is said: "Those who want to know the truth and virtue of the ancient world will first govern their country; those who want to govern their country will first build their homes; those who want to unite their homes will first cultivate themselves." "To manage the family and educate the children well, the key lies in self-cultivation. It can be seen from this that the words and deeds of parents have a great impact on children.
Body teaching, the so-called body teaching, is a way of educating children directly or directly or with their own practical actions. Body teaching is one of the most important and frequent forms of education in family education. Whether parents are conscious or unconscious, their own behavior plays a certain educational role.
Children have less social experience and narrower social contact. Parents will naturally become their imitators, and parents will become their earliest and longest-serving teachers.
The famous Soviet pedagogue Sukhomlinsky once said: "The all-round development of man depends on how the mother and father are before the child, and on how the child understands the relationship between people and the social environment from the example of the parents." "It can be seen that the actual actions of parents play an important role.
Using this method of education by example, first of all, parents are required to pay strict attention to their own self-cultivation. Since ancient times, the mainland has attached great importance to self-cultivation.
The impact of parents' words and deeds on children.
Over-dressing can easily mislead children into catching up with fashion. The excessive dressing of parents is easy to cause a bad demonstration of the fashionable appearance of the child, which will make the child mistakenly think that the fashionable dress is very important, promote the child's consumption psychology of catching up with the fashion and wearing the brand name, and distract the child's concentration on learning.
Parents should tell their children to dress generously, neatly, more respected than fashionable clothes and designer clothes, and let children develop frugal and clean dress habits. Attention should be paid to cultivating children's healthy habits and encouraging children to participate in physical exercises such as walking and playing ball.
Noisy fights can easily mislead children into being violent. If parents often use quarrels to solve different opinions that occur in daily life, and even punch and kick each other, it is easy to mislead children into the wrong cognition that "quarrels and fights can also solve problems", so that children imitate parents to use their fists to solve disputes that occur when playing with children, and promote children's violent tendencies. Therefore, when a husband and wife have a disagreement over family trivia, they should calmly communicate and negotiate to resolve it, and must not argue loudly or use their hands and feet in front of their children.
Obsessed with the Internet is easy to mislead children into becoming addicted to the Internet. Some parents have free time to either use their mobile phones to play WeChat, play games, or chat online, which will attract children's interest in mobile phones and the online world. However, due to the radiation of mobile phones and computer screens, the screen irradiation time is too long to affect the child's sleep, resulting in a decline in the child's learning interest and academic performance. Children playing with mobile phones while eating will also distract children's appetite, affect weight gain, etc., but some parents tell their children not to play mobile phones during meals, but they use their smartphones to send WeChat.
As the saying goes, words are not as good as teaching by example, families with small children should formulate rules for the use of mobile phones and computers in the family, and require all family members to comply with them, in order to better prevent children from becoming addicted to the Internet.
It is easy to mislead children into despising moral education. Many parents, especially women, always love to talk about the appearance or behavior of others, some parents gossip do not pay attention to avoid children, so that children feel that it is okay to say bad things about others behind their backs, and slowly children have learned this behavior. Children with such bad behavior will develop from talking about others behind their backs to making up children's "stories", provoking the relationship between children, and then telling lies to deceive parents or teachers, seriously endangering children's moral education and not conducive to children's ideological and moral character cultivation. Therefore, as a parent, we must set a good example for our children, even if some people or things need to be discussed, we must avoid children so as not to adversely affect their children, and pay more attention to educating children to learn to respect others.
Criticism and complaints can easily mislead children about lack of self-esteem. Some parents often criticize and complain about unsatisfactory work, dissatisfaction with the body, unhappiness in life, lack of money and other issues, which will affect the child's self-confidence and produce self-esteem problems. Suppose the father often complains that the work is not ideal and has inferiority complex. This will convey to children, especially boys, the wrong message that "Dad is incompetent, I will be stupid", weaken the self-esteem of those children who study hard and have poor academic performance, and lead to the breaking of the jar without thinking. Therefore, dissatisfaction with work and life should be comforted by the pillow, to the lover, and not to guard the child's criticism and complaints.
It is easy to mislead children into rebellion. Some parents always love to compare with others in everything, work is not as ideal as friends, income is not as good as neighbors, children are not as good as classmates, etc., and they can teach their children at every turn to say "you see how the neighbor's children are", "how are your classmates", "how are you not as motivated as other people's children" and so on. Adults and children have self-esteem, or how to say "good children are exaggerated", for children, this kind of comparison preaching will not only not mobilize his enthusiasm, but also easy to make children have a rebellious psychology.
Smoking and alcohol abuse can easily mislead children about bad habits. Some parents often borrow alcohol to dispel their worries due to social interaction and cigarettes, which will convey to their children that smoking can make friends and drinking is the wrong message that stress can be relieved. Over time, children will find smoking very attractive to men, imitate adults to steal cigarettes, try to drink to relieve the pressure of learning, and gradually develop a good feeling for tobacco and alcohol or even become addicted. Parents themselves should look for more positive ways to decompress, such as exercising, traveling outdoors, meditating, chatting with friends, etc. away from alcohol and tobacco.
Source: Rufengdajia (rufengdajia) infringing removal
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