Guangzhou heard about the introduction to psychological counseling
She is a well-behaved child in the eyes of her parents and a good student in the eyes of her teachers, she never loses her temper, studies hard, and is good at restraining herself.
However, since stepping into society, although her work and income are good, depression has become more and more serious around her. She is often inexplicably trapped by depression, feels that life is meaningless, and has repeatedly cut herself, hit the wall and other self-harm behaviors. Why is she like this, how to get out of the predicament?
I heard that teacher Zheng Qijuan of the Psychological Counseling Center will take you to explore together.
Bi Yun, 23 years old, is already taking medication for depression, and came to psychological counseling for help because of irrepressible self-harm tendencies and behaviors such as cutting wrists and hitting walls.
From the outsider's point of view, Bi Yun graduated from university, did design in a network company, worked freely and earned a good income, and should live well. But Bi Yun felt that since stepping into society, depression had surrounded her more and more seriously, and she had repeatedly used a knife to cut herself and hit the wall and other self-harm behaviors.
In the most recent self-harm, he had suicidal thoughts again, and forcefully cut his wrist, which was found by his family in time to save his life. Afterwards, Bi Yun also felt quite terrible, it was an uncontrollable force that drove her to do it, and she knew intellectually that she did not have to die, had a good job, and loved her parents, so she took drugs while seeking psychological counseling help.
He was once recognized as a well-behaved child and never lost his temper
After understanding Bi Yun's living conditions and family background, it seems that there are no factors that are too prominent to cause her to be so depressed.
Bi Yun is an only child, who lived with her grandmother when she was a child, and at that time she was lively and laughed, and liked to draw and dance. When she returned to her parents in elementary school, although her mother had a strong and impatient personality, Bi Yun knew that her mother loved her and supported her interests.
Dad has a gentle personality and often travels on business, so the mother at home has the final say. Mom values her grades and restricts her from watching TV and preventing her from going out. Although Bi Yun was not happy, he never resisted, and often felt that he was useless and could not get good results, which made his mother angry.
Bi Yun is recognized as a well-behaved child in the eyes of others and never loses his temper. Here, we can see that Bi Yun has the characteristics of suppressing himself, and it is easy to attribute the problem to "I am not good enough". In work and interpersonal relationships, Bi Yun is also prone to self-blame.
She was so good that she was bullied
As I continued to learn, Bi Yun opened up a traumatic memory to me. In her second year of junior high school, she transferred due to changes in her mother's job. Bi Yun studied diligently as always, and when he arrived at the new school, he quickly became the object of praise from the outstanding students and teachers in the class, and many boys liked to play with themselves. There was a girl in the class who was well-off but had a poor study, who seemed very unfriendly and had scolded herself for no reason.
Once, the teacher criticized the female classmate in the class and asked her to learn from Bi Yun.
The next day, on the way home, the girl led two other female students, pulled herself into a vacant room, scolded herself for not having a face, made a small report to the teacher, and hooked up with the boy. Then they began to take off Biyun's clothes, forcing her to kneel, and constantly scratching and kicking her. Bi Yun was frightened, but because he was controlled by them, he did not know how to defend and was powerless to resist.
They scolded for more than an hour and then dispersed, and Bi Yun trembled and put back on his clothes, his body bruised with pain. I got sick with a fever and rested at home for a week.
Since then, Bi Yun has changed, she no longer talks to the boys in the class, people are stupid, and her grades have changed from excellent to medium. Not long after the incident, her mother let Bi Yun apply for a residence because she was too busy at work, and Bi Yun did not have to walk home every day, but had a sense of security.
The girl was also dissuaded at the end of the semester because of her poor grades. Bi Yun did not tell anyone about this, she was afraid that her impatient mother would be stimulated and would go to school to make trouble. Because I felt ashamed, I didn't tell anyone else.
Bi Yun also had a lot of self-blame in his heart. She thinks that she does not know how to speak, does not understand communication, and provoked the girl to make herself suffer this crime; at the same time, she feels that she is useless, does not observe others, does not know how to prevent in advance, and protects herself; and after the decline in grades, she thinks that she is too fragile and feels guilty about her mother.
Deep analysis, she suddenly realized
For the sudden injury from the outside world, anger and retaliation are normal reactions, but Bi Yun habitually turns the attack to himself, and it is "I am not good" that causes this matter.
Seeing that I am so "bad" has produced a feeling of being nowhere to escape, and it is difficult to accept such a "bad" self, and self-abuse is that I "punished" my "bad", in order to calm this discomfort and obtain psychological balance, which is Bi Yun's masochistic psychological model.
The most serious self-abuse is to kill yourself (suicide).
Bi Yun believes that the "effective protection" after the traumatic event is to rely on the residential school to eliminate the possibility of the recurrence of injury.
So, subconsciously, school became a safe area, and college graduation meant leaving school completely, which was likely to trigger deep negative emotions that had been suppressed for a long time, and stimulated her deep fear of being bullied and hurt again.
In fact, after Bi Yun graduated from college, depression showed an increasingly serious trend. When we finished discussing these contents, Bi Yun suddenly realized that where she was confused in the past, she was able to understand that usually when she feels very depressed in guilt and self-denial, hurting herself will get a kind of pleasure.
When he graduated from college, Bi Yun had an inexplicable fear and despair, and at that time, he also blamed himself for being too fragile and did not want to step into society!
Deal with trauma and regain self-strength
The focus of counseling is to deal with this deeply traumatic event and adjust BiYun's psychological model of masochism.
I used cognitive technology to guide her to understand that as a child, she does not have the high interpersonal skills and the ability to observe others and prevent them beforehand.
At the same time, we explored traumatic stress disorder, which allowed her to see a series of symptoms after her own fact, not because she was not good, but because of the normal response of stress disorder after the traumatic event. In the consultation, guiding her to look at this traumatic event objectively with the eyes of an adult, Bi Yun finally admitted that it was the other party's problem and hurt herself.
After I established a safe relationship with her, I used Gestalt psychological techniques to guide Bi Yun to express her anger at the perpetrator in retrospective events, and to implement self-protection measures in her imagination to reconstruct her inner strength.
In terms of Bi Yun's personality repair, we gradually transform her "bad" in the exploration of daily events, so that she can look at herself rationally and objectively, and understand her behavior and psychology. It also helps her find her own shining point and admit her "good".
In this consultation process, Bi Yun repaired the "self-masochism" model, and she no longer thinks that she has a lot of bad things to "self-punish". Bi Yun also found his self-strength little by little, learning to truly love himself and appreciate himself.