I don't know when the bride price has become a method for many girls to test their feelings.
The 6-figure bride price at every turn makes the post-80s look breathtaking, but if a huge dowry is given, will the feelings really be better?
not necessarily!
How much love, because the dispute over the bride price has become a chicken feather, in the process of managing feelings, there is first trust and then there is a demand, if the order is reversed, it may be laughed at generously.
On the Internet, I saw a 22-year-old girl on a blind date, she asked for a dowry of 500,000 yuan with one mouth, and the result was fiercely teased.
01. High value, high bride price?
22-year-old Xiao Man began to go on a blind date at a young age, and she thought that her conditions were still good, thinking that her dowry of 500,000 was a must, and this threshold helped her screen out many blind dates.
In a blind date, the man's conditions are good, the family parents opened several companies, assets over 100 million, the proper rich second generation, Xiao Man felt good, although the meeting on the male guest's appearance conditions bluntly short and black, but still decided to understand.
Fortunately, the male guests had a good impression of Xiao Man, and as soon as the two sat down, Xiao Man said that it was not easy for her parents to raise herself, and she wanted a dowry of 500,000 because she was very well cultivated by her parents.
After listening to it, the male guest laughed and said bluntly: "It is easy to raise such a big person, and it is not easy for my parents to raise me so big." ”
Xiao Man was very interesting, and continued: "But I am very good-looking." "Let the male guests cry and laugh."
In Xiao Man's view, looking beautiful is also an advantage, she also indicated other requirements, the house is at least 180 square meters, the car must be a certain brand of luxury cars.
After all, the male guest is a thick family, thoughtfully saying that he may not meet the requirements of the female guest, because he has bought other brands of more expensive cars, the house is a villa where the family lives.
The bride price of 500,000 is no problem, and it is okay to give 2 million more, but he is worried that the female guest only loves his money, but does not love him. Or what if you get divorced not long after marriage?
The male guest put forward the request for a trial marriage, and Xiao Man said on the spot that there was no problem, and he also hoped that the house should add his name after marriage.
Red Niang quickly reminded that the trial marriage should be cautious, in case the breakup may have an impact on the girl's reputation, Xiao Man understood this and quickly rejected the proposal.
Then the male guest tentatively asked, the family hopes to hold the grandson as soon as possible, the more children the better, ask the woman what to see? Xiao Man said that having children has a great impact on the body, and only one can be born.
The male guest increased the chips, saying that the parents promised to give birth to a girl with a reward of 400,000 yuan, a boy with a reward of 800,000, and each child was given 2 nannies and a house.
Xiao Man still refused, and later said that Xiao Man's monthly income was only 5,000 yuan, and the male guest said that he hoped that Xiao Man would resign as a housewife after marriage.
Xiao Man immediately said that she was an independent woman, and she would insist on working before and after marriage..... It is conceivable that this blind date is doomed not to succeed.
02. The psychology of dependence is actually a weak culture
There is a sentence in "Heavenly Path": "Those who are eager to break the admissions and want to take shortcuts without hard work are all weak cultures." ”
Back to the woman, her values are also related to the attitude of her parents.
Her parents taught her to dress up beautifully from an early age, thinking that beauty is a kind of capital, and when the girl grew up, she also engaged in the beauty industry, earning a low salary, but spending all the money on beauty.
Pretty can indeed be the icing on the cake, but please don't forget that you must first be the "brocade", there is no savior in the world, you can only save yourself.
Don't put all your expectations on others, what others give you, you can take it back at any time, what you want must be fought for by yourself, this is what others can't take away.
A person who is insecure is often prone to losing himself, just like Xiao Man hopes that the other party will give a high bride price, and the house will add his own name to obtain a sense of inner security.
This is actually a manifestation of dependence, if the other party agrees to sell themselves? Dependence psychology often makes people lose themselves, and relying too much on others will lose the initiative.
Relying too much on others will also become the person who is most vulnerable, because it means giving others the opportunity to hurt you.
People who often overemphasize that they are independent women are extremely fragile at heart and desire the approval of others, but they are dependent on a manifestation of their hearts.
As an independent woman, we must have the consciousness of lifting dependence, not being bound by anything in the outside world, and following the choice of the heart is truly independent.
03. Girls can be closer to happiness if they are self-reliant
I like Ouyang Xue in "Heavenly Dao", she is an independent woman.
Ouyang Xue was forced to leave home and drop out of school at the age of 12, she had no relatives and no education, and she barely managed to find a job and have food to eat.
Later, when she opened a snack bar, she also desperately tried to make money all day long, and her life was very bitter, but she did not complain about the injustice of god, nor did she take a crooked road to give up on herself, nor did she give up her self-dependence on others.
Even if she already has her own restaurant, she has never given up her original intention, and she has not forgotten to observe other people's business philosophies and service characteristics when she eats out.
From the snack to the bitter head, she has the tenacity to persevere, not afraid of the spirit of hardship, from a social bottom to an independent, but also has its own company.
The twists and turns in the middle are probably only clear in her heart, but even so, when she recalls her past life, she has not complained about anyone, but thanked herself for her past efforts.
In her own words, in her life, she will only open restaurants, nothing else, restaurants are her bottom line, is the source of her happiness.
Perhaps some people think that Ouyang Xue's life is very tragic, in that era, there is no education and no background, and a person who leaves home is likely to have to live at the bottom of society for the rest of his life.
She is a weak person in living conditions, but tenacious she did not succumb to fate, her independence makes her quite "lucky", she found what she likes to do, and insist on doing it, how many people can do this?
She is extremely sure of her present and future, never thought of relying on external forces, and is a completely independent woman, she knows what she should do and what she will have.
Give it a thumbs up, and wish the friends who like it can be independent and warm, and get real freedom!
How much dowry do you think is appropriate for a girl to get married?