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Mr. Lin Yutang said:
Not causing trouble, not bothering others, in a way, it is a kind of precept.
Not causing trouble to others is a kind of upbringing, and it is also a philosophy of life that adults should have.
In "Fifty Kilometers of Peach Blossom Dock", Guo Qilin once said a sentence to Li Xueqin: "Why do they always trouble us?" None of us want to bother them. ”
The philosophy of life revealed in Guo Qilin's words not only deeply agreed with Li Xueqin, but many viewers also felt that they could speak their hearts after listening to it.
Today's young people, many of whom are only children, are accustomed to doing their own things independently and trying not to cause trouble to others. This is actually a manifestation of the sense of boundary.
There is a saying: things that can be solved with money, try not to trouble others.
Everyone's time and energy are limited, and they would rather have trouble with themselves than try to cause trouble to others.
As Plato once said: Everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
Everyone in this world is "fighting" for their own lives, all have their own difficulties, do not impose the problems you encounter on others.
But then again, life is in the world, there is wind and rain is inevitable, some things are powerless to solve, trouble others, can be understood.
However, those who never consider the feelings of others, have no bottom line, no sense of boundaries, and are unscrupulous to cause trouble to others, do not be polite with her, and draw boundaries with her as soon as possible.
01. Relatives who always make trouble
Netizen Zhang Ruo (pseudonym) also met such a person who always caused trouble for her life.
Zhang Ruo asked on Zhihu:
The sister-in-law was ready to come to my house for confinement without telling me, I did not agree, but the husband and mother-in-law are on the side of the sister-in-law, what should I do?
The relative who always caused trouble for Zhang Ruo was Zhang Ruo's sister-in-law.
Zhang Ruo and her husband Xu Zhe (pseudonym) are college classmates, the two have been married for 6 years, have a 5-year-old child, and currently live with their mother-in-law.
Xu Zhe comes from a township on the outskirts of the city, and his family's economic conditions are average. When they first got married, the marriage house of the two was located in the urban area, which was a second-hand house that the in-laws had painstakingly bought from their relatives.
After the in-laws bought the house, they could no longer come up with the money to decorate the house.
At that time, Zhang Ruo and Xu Zhe had a good relationship, and their parents were also very satisfied with Xu Zhe, who was down-to-earth and enterprising, and they were very considerate of Xu Zhe's situation, and when they got married, they not only did not ask for a bride price, but also spent more than 200,000 yuan to renovate the wedding room.
Moreover, the parents also married a car.
Life after marriage is very sweet, Zhang Ruo soon became pregnant with a child, and her mother-in-law, who was idle at home, moved in to help when she was 25 weeks old.
Originally, the family was at peace, but soon after, the sister-in-law graduated from college and also lived in. The arrival of the sister-in-law gave them a peaceful life and created a lot of trouble.
The sister-in-law is 6 years younger than Xu Zhe, and she is like Qiao Simei in "Children of the Qiao Family", naughty and willful, and will only cause trouble for her brother.
As long as there is something, the first time is to find a brother, in the relationship between brothers and sisters, only know how to take, but do not know how to give.
02. The sister-in-law lacks a sense of boundaries
At the beginning, Zhang Ruo treated her like a sister, often buying her some skin care products, clothes, shoes, etc., but in exchange for any material or emotional returns.
Even the sister-in-law will intentionally or unintentionally stir up dissension in front of the mother-in-law, so that the originally harmonious relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has some gaps.
Zhang Ruo did not understand, what good would the sister-in-law do to herself? And Xu Zhe often uses the fact that her sister-in-law is still young and does not understand human feelings, so that she does not have to worry too much.
What made Zhang Ruo most angry was that the sister-in-law's boundary was blurred.
The sister-in-law likes to stick to Xu Zhe. Zhang Ruo and Xu Zhe took the child to the supermarket, she also had to follow, every time Zhang Ruo pushed the child to the back, and the sister-in-law took Xu Zhe's hand and walked to the front.
At the time of checkout, the sister-in-law, who also bought a bunch of things, deservedly waited for Xu Zhe to settle the settlement together.
Every year on Valentine's Day, the sister-in-law who does not have a boyfriend will always lie and let Xu Zhe send red envelopes; the Spring Festival is the same, the sister-in-law always pesters Xu Zhe to take the old money.
However, Zhang Ruo's son grew up so big, he never received a penny from his sister-in-law.
What's more, the sister-in-law goes out at night, often playing until eleven or twelve o'clock, and then calls Xu Zhe to drive to pick her up.
Xu Zhe is like Qiao Yicheng in "Children of the Qiao Family", with a hard mouth and a soft heart, and he reprimands his sister-in-law with his mouth, but he is worried about her safety in his heart, even if he has already laid down, he will still get up and go out.
Between brothers and sisters, the occasional disturbance and trouble, nothing.
However, the sister-in-law repeatedly did not listen, repeatedly disturbing Xu Zhe's normal work and rest, which made Zhang Ruo very unhappy, and therefore quarreled with Xu Zhe.
The troubles created by the sister-in-law directly affect the feelings between husband and wife.
03. I'm confinement at my mother's house, what's the matter with you
Zhang Ruo endured until the sister-in-law got married, it was difficult to be quiet for a while, but she did not expect that the good times were not long, the sister-in-law was pregnant, and she wanted to come back to sit in confinement.
The sister-in-law is not in good health, she has not kept a child before, and her in-laws are close to the suburbs, so it is not convenient to go to the hospital.
Coupled with the in-laws opening restaurants, usually busy, the care of her will inevitably be not comprehensive enough, the most important thing is that the relationship between the sister-in-law and the mother-in-law is not very harmonious.
When the sister-in-law was planning to be 30 weeks pregnant, she came back to give birth and was more at ease with her mother taking care of her.
Zhang Ruo was not aware of it, but after inadvertently learning about it, he immediately objected.
If Zhang Ruo came over, she knew how troublesome it was for a woman to have a child and confinement.
First of all, confinement needs a quiet and comfortable environment, but the son is the age of mischievous and mischievous, making noise at home every day, and it is difficult for him to keep him quiet for two or three months.
Secondly, although there are two bedrooms and a study in the family, the son currently sleeps independently, and if the sister-in-law and the couple move in, the son must sleep with his parents again.
It was hard to develop the habit of sleeping independently, and then it took time to adjust.
In addition, there are many troubles, take the sister-in-law's husband, this originally small house, suddenly he has a man, not to mention how awkward.
04. There is a kind of relative, don't be polite with her
However, the husband and mother-in-law are distressed about the sister-in-law and have been speaking from the position of the sister-in-law.
The sister-in-law is even more excessive, after knowing the situation, she directly called and asked her: "I am confinement at my mother's house, what is the matter with you?" ”
Zhang Ruo did not be polite with her sister-in-law this time, and completely tore her face.
At the same time, the relationship between Zhang Ruo and his mother-in-law is also on the verge of rupture, and Xu Zhe is also arguing endlessly, and the feelings of the husband and wife are greatly affected.
Zhang Ruo is very depressed, the normal rhythm of life has been disrupted, family privacy has been violated, and she has also been wrong to safeguard her legitimate rights and interests? She wondered how to deal with that situation.
Moderator Wang Zijian once said:
When I grew up, I learned that I tried not to cause trouble to others, and others had better not trouble me, this sentence is not indifference, but maturity.
The sister-in-law's mind is obviously not mature enough, and she feels that the house was purchased by her parents in full, that is, her home, and she has the right to go home.
The reason is true, but why should it add trouble to others when it can be solved with money?
Confinement center is indeed expensive, ordinary people can not afford to live.
However, renting an apartment nearby and living in it for three months is not a difficult thing, so why bother with the mother's chickens and dogs?
Well, today is here, I hope that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Yu'er, please pay attention to me, give the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~