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Cheeky is generally used to describe a person without skin, face and shame, but in fact, if we want to succeed, we can't always be bound by the "embarrassed" mentality, and more or less need to have some "cheeky" spirit.
Psychology professor Li Meijin has a lot of very desirable parenting concepts, in her view, if you want your children to live in the future will not be too hard, parents from an early age to cultivate them to develop the habit of "cheeky".
Ability to resist setbacks and accept failure calmly
Setbacks and challenges are all compulsory courses in life, parents need to let children understand earlier that life can not always be smooth, growing up in the greenhouse, children who have been well protected by the family have little ability to be frustrated, and it is difficult to adapt to the fiercely competitive society after life without experiencing setbacks and storms.
Saving the Child and Saving the Heart mentions psychologists' definition of psychological endurance: "It refers to the psychological quality of a person who has recovered from setbacks and failures to a previously happy mood. ”
To make children thicker means to make them braver and have a strong ability to resist pressure, so that they will not rely on their parents and learn to be independent in the face of any problems.
There is a very popular short video on the Internet, the mall distributes balloons for free, and mothers accompany their children to practice how to express their desire for balloons to the staff. After rehearsing many times, the mother suddenly refused the child's request for a balloon.
The sudden refusal made the child a little unable to accept, the mother comforted the sad little girl like this: "When we put forward the demand, others may agree or may refuse, this is a very normal thing, agree to say thank you, reject us to say it does not matter." ”
The so-called "cheeky" is actually to teach children to accept what they can't get, and at the same time have the courage to try again.
Parents should teach their children the meaning of setbacks, not to protect them too much, let them understand that there is not only sunshine but also a lot of wind and rain in life, and let them personally experience the wind and rain.
In addition, parents must also let their children establish the belief that they will succeed through correct guidance, and in this process, setbacks are the ladder of progress. Magnifying this sense of accomplishment by giving your child encouragement when they successfully overcome setbacks can help them have the courage to challenge setbacks.
Dare to try
Many glass-hearted and timid people are often very sensitive, they have not been able to get out of their own cage, always afraid to try the unknown.
They worry about the eyes of others, they are afraid of suffering failure, in short, they do not have the courage to try the unknown. The book "Blunt Force" explains the definition of blunt force: "A dull force that calmly faces the pain caused by setbacks in life." ”
"Thick-skinned" children often have a strong blunt sense, they will not be cautious, those things that have nothing to do with what they want to do can be left behind, and they will not be twisted and pinched because of interpersonal relationships.
"Blunt Sensitivity" also mentions those who can shine in different fields, and there is a certain blunt sensitivity behind their outstanding talents. Cultivating children's talents also gives them the power to "be bold and try everything bravely".
Parents should encourage their children to take the initiative to participate in some activities, give some opportunities for them to express themselves generously in front of everyone, so that gradual exercise can also cultivate their children's courage.
Relationships are easy
"Thick-skinned" people are also very simple in dealing with interpersonal relationships, they will not be depressed because of some contradictions in interpersonal relationships, and they do not have too heavy baggage when making friends with people, they are good at directly expressing their thoughts in their hearts, and there are few embarrassing situations.
"Cheeky" children are not too shy, they can break the social deadlock, this personality is easy to make sincere friends, but only if there is no problem with their character.
Highly sensitive people are good at taking care of other people's emotions, but oversensitivity always has a sense of gain and loss in interpersonal communication, and the relationship that is guessed and guessed every day is also an emotional baggage. In addition, cheeky people have a strong sense of boundaries.
"Establishing a Sense of Boundaries" believes that everyone has their own psychological boundaries, if someone crosses the line, or we passively break through the bottom line, we will have feelings of anxiety and pain, they dare to refuse, and will not be embarrassed to reject others and then do things that wronged themselves.
Parents should put forward clear boundary rules when educating their children in their daily lives, clearly tell them what is ok and what is not, and parents should also respect their children's boundaries, give them independent space, and let them establish a sense of boundaries from an early age, and the child's sense of boundaries in the process of growth will be very clear.
In order not to make their children too sensitive, parents should teach their children to face the conflict, express their true thoughts in person, and not think too much about the west.
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Author | Tommida
Edit | Wan'an
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).