Marriage, for everyone, is a major event in life, the quality of marriage, affects a person's happiness for a lifetime, especially for women, marriage is like a second reincarnation. "Women are afraid of marrying the wrong man", a woman's life, the most afraid is to marry the wrong person, not only will not get happiness, but also suffer grievances and bitterness.
Liang Liang, 32 years old this year, is such a typical case of marrying the wrong person:
A beautiful city girl, the only daughter of the family, she is a civil servant like her parents, and she has a suite under her name, which is properly "white and rich". Her husband's family is not well-off, her father works alone to support the family, her mother is illiterate and a housewife, he finished college and worked in the city to find a job, but there is still a certain distance from buying a house.
Liang Liang and her husband met at a friend's party and began to communicate, and the two people's feelings developed well. At first, Liang Liang's parents felt that the two people were not worthy of opposition, but in the end they could not stand the daughter's willingness and agreed to the marriage.
Before getting married, Liang Liang only felt that her husband had nothing wrong with her husband except for some stingy picking. After getting married, the two people have more and more contradictions, starting with a small quarrel, then a big quarrel, and finally developing into a hands-on. Liang Liang couldn't bear it anymore and filed for divorce. Unexpectedly, the other party brazenly asked for spiritual compensation, which made Liang Liang stunned.
Women are often like this, pursuing the supremacy of love, thinking that "sentient drinking water is full", as long as two people can stay together is happiness. But in fact, falling in love is playing with the family, and getting married is living a life, which is basically two different things. Living a life is the reality of chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, which is directly related to matter. Of course, it does not mean that women must marry into the rich, but women must be able to see people, do not marry poor men, this kind of man can not give women happiness.
It is not terrible for people to be materially poor, but it is terrible to be poor in heart. What is mental poverty? Men do not have these "things", indicating that the heart is very poor, women must know.
Not self-motivated, content with the status quo, love to complain
Take the beautiful husband, who has been paying less than five thousand yuan after graduating from college, has never thought about how to improve his ability and income, and will only complain that the company's system is not good, and from time to time he shows resentment that he does not meet. Liang Liang suggested that he change companies, and he said that it was also very good now, anyway, he was hungry and could not freeze, and there was more than enough than the upper than the lower. Although Liang Liang has a good stable income, there is a woman who does not want her husband to give herself a sense of material security. A woman is willing to marry a man in the hope that he will give her a good future.
Poor men are content with the status quo, completely unmotivated, will only retreat when challenges and opportunities come, and will only complain about the injustice of heaven to themselves under pressure. Women who marry such men are doomed to have no sense of security.
No empathy, hatred of the rich, stinginess to cut the door
Liang Liang husband because Liang Liang has a house under his name, he has no house, he lives in a beautiful house as soon as he gets married, the strange thing is that he is not only not grateful, but also often yin and yang weirdly said that the Liang liang family took advantage of the national policy, a family of three are in the public institution, only then have the current family business, if their family is not in the countryside, there must be more money than the Liang liang family. He also secretly poked and poked and said that the rich people's money is mostly ill-gotten wealth, either greedy or adulterous, but he still has a picture of Lao Tzu's rich style all day long, which is really annoying. Sometimes, when he saw that Liang Liang had spent more money, he put on a stinky face and scolded her for spending money extravagantly and indiscriminately. The most infuriating thing is that he spends a lot of money on himself, on the grounds that he can't be looked down upon. It can be said that he is very "double standard" in terms of stinginess.
Poor men have no empathy, do not think from the perspective of others, think about everything for themselves, their feelings are extremely scarce, life is not half interesting, they will not reflect on themselves, they will only restrain their wives and children, and require them to meet their own standards. When a woman marries such a man, she is doomed to live a miserable life.
No heart, love to turn over old accounts, and be preoccupied
Although the beautiful husband's family situation is not good, but because he is the only son in the family, his mother is extremely doting, from childhood to adulthood, he is almost clothed at home to reach out, eat to open his mouth, do not do any work, and cultivate his selfish character. After getting married, he is also a pair of hands-off treasurers, and he does not do any housework, even if his wife is sick and his children cry in the middle of the night, he does not bother to look at it. Liang Liang really couldn't help but complain about him a few words, he blamed her for having children just after marriage, blamed her for giving birth to a daughter, blamed her for not resigning, blamed her parents for not helping. She also said that her parents looked down on him from the heart, in fact, she also looked down on herself from the heart, and the family just wanted to treat him as a son-in-law, so he wouldn't be so stupid.
Poor men have no heart, do not know how to tolerate others, and will only act selfishly according to their own ideas, which is completely a machismo style. Sooner or later, when a woman marries such a man, she will be reduced to a "free nanny" or a tool for passing on the generations to sleep with.
Without thought, get by
After Liang Liang gave birth to a child, the family's expenses were much larger, she saw that her husband did not grow up every day at work, played games after work, it was exactly like he was mixing days, she asked him if he had any ideas about the future, and whether he had any plans to improve his work and life. Unexpectedly, he actually asked Liang Liang what he should think. He also said that when he married Liang Liang, he just didn't want to live too hard, he was quite satisfied with his current work and life, and his only idea now was for Liang Liang to add another son to him. Her husband's mentality of getting by and getting by made Liang Liang very speechless and helpless, she felt that her husband was simply pretending to be asleep, and she had no way to wake him up.
Poor men have no thoughts, no vision, they have not seen the world, they are more willing to stay in their comfort zone, live like the walking dead every day, like a marionette fiddling with life, never live their own life. A woman marrying such a man is doomed not to have a good life.
There is no tutoring, the pattern is small, and there is nothing to do
In fact, whether a person has the ability or not should not be based on birth, but a person's growth has a profound relationship with his original family. Liang Liang is sometimes very strange, the husband's family situation is not good, but every time the in-laws come over, the husband has to take them out to eat, and buy them a lot of famous brands, and the in-laws will never refuse, of course, according to the order, there is no frugal look. Husband himself, although the income is not high, but he has always been very willing to himself, eating and wearing, are famous brands, in his own words, is not to be looked down upon. Liang Liang finally understood why her father said that her husband was good and bad, and the tutor was definitely not good. Liang Liang finally knows why many rural people have become rich, while her husband's family has not been rich.
Poor men do not have good tutors, and are deeply rooted in the influence of the original family, because they grew up in a poorly educated family, so the pattern will never be high, and eventually they will only degenerate step by step into a person who does nothing and does not know himself. Women marry such men, in addition to their own inability to be happy, the future will also affect the growth of children.
summary:
As a woman, we must understand that there is no problem for men to be poor, but it is a big problem for men to be poor. Poverty is only a temporary state that can be changed through one's own efforts. Poverty of heart is a kind of incompetence and cowardice that refuses or dare not face reality, a kind of pathology. There is a very classic Taiwanese saying in "I Am Not a Medicine God": "There is only one disease in the world, that is, the disease of poverty." "This kind of poverty means that the heart is poor. Poor men cannot give women a good future.