After children enter puberty, they often ask parents to buy brand-name clothes and brand-name bags.
Some boys will also be unable to raise their heads in front of their classmates because they do not have designer sneakers.
After the age of 9, children gradually enter puberty, they will find their own identity from other small partners, and they will be subject to various peer pressures.
There may be negative peer pressure that will make the child's behavior deviate, and it may also be subject to positive peer pressure, so that the child has the motivation to progress.
Peer pressure, adults have also had.
When others spend half a year traveling, they have been on the road; when neighbors give their wives private custom diamond rings; when their sister's children receive olive branches from famous schools at home and abroad; when a classmate succeeds in starting a business, the company goes public.
Even as subtle as the chanel of the season, the girlfriend put it on, the neighbor also put it on; even the husband of the classmate gave her a tender smile, which was lit up by the sun in the morning and sent to the circle of friends.
Many times, people feel unhappy, not because they lack something, but because others have me.
Peer pressure is an inevitable experience for children to grow up.
Thinking back to my adolescent self, I was angry and vicious and changed my clothes every day.
In fact, where is it for others to see? It is to place the fragments of one's own soul.
As I matured, I began to realize that I didn't need to compare myself with others.
Gradually, you can wear only a cloth coat, and you are no longer disturbed by the idea of "what you wear to look better than others", you just need to be clean and comfortable, which is the best self-respect.
The confidence of young children, from dressing up to escalating their attention, takes time.
Every link cannot be missing.
In reality, many children, even if they grow up and mature, the economic conditions are good, the time is calm, and a lot of thoughts are still focused on dressing, all the pleasure is to buy and buy, and they cannot upgrade their attention, which is caused by the lack of childhood.
Behind this motivation to be held back by purchases is a deep lack of self-confidence.
Confident concrete, from childhood to build on the confidence of the steel, to build a stable foundation for self-confidence.
How can I help my child build self-confidence?
Lots of self-determination
True self-confidence is built through a lot of self-determination.
People slowly learn to choose through continuous choices, even absurd choices.
Russell once said: "The typical unhappy person is someone who was deprived of some normal needs when he was young, and he will value this kind of satisfaction more than anything else." ”
In real life, many adults can't forget the snacks at the school gate when they were young, and they can't help but buy a lot of them to put at home; some people like to collect the toys they loved in childhood and buy a lot of them to put back.
It's all just to fulfill a childhood wish.
Therefore, when the child is young, it is very important for the child to build self-confidence by giving the right to choose, letting her go out according to her favorite style and play with her favorite toys.
Parental attention
When the child calls his parents to see it, he must look at him solidly and uncompromisingly.
Growing up in this way without lack of attention, I will not be able to make the subconscious behavior of "looking at me, looking at me" on various occasions after adulthood.
The "words are not surprising and dead", "refuting the debate syndrome", "counter-questioning vices", "performance complex", "talking fanatics" in public are all like this, which is the continuous amplification effect of the lack of attention in the "look at me" stage.
A person's life is a childhood that is constantly scaling.
A child who can be noticed by his mother when needed, and a child who can successfully attract his mother's attention, is a child who has confidence, clarity, freedom, and no shyness to express his thoughts in the future.
So that they will not grow into people who distort their expressions because of the lack of self-confidence to be paid attention to.
Letting go and not holding on
The indomitable strength of the child is the material of self-confidence, the tough powder like finely ground cement, the erection is a tall building, and lying down is a highway.
When children are trying to build self-confidence, the only thing parents need to do is to let go and protect themselves, so that children can work their own.
Absolute love
Mom went from the total acceptance mode to the comparison mode.
Months to climb? A few months to go? How big can you carry a small six or nine? How big can I calculate numbers other than ten? When did you start reading?
This mentality has begun to leave "absolute love" and slide towards "conditional love".
Comparing the mentality will damage the child's self-confidence.
How easy is it for a child who is constantly being compared by his mother to develop self-confidence?
In constant comparison, even children who have always been in a winning position are also victims of comparison.
The right parent mentality is to always use love as a microscope and a magnifying glass to find and properly magnify their brightness and brilliance in children.
Especially when children are young and live by their parents, their self-evaluation system is very dependent on the internal evaluation of the people closest to them.
Parents should work with their children to help their children find their inherent uniqueness and make encouraging evaluations.
Every child should be confident, and self-confidence is the sunshine in the heart.
In childhood, gaining a sense of self-confidence is the best gift that parents can give to their children, and it is also one of the indispensable characters for children to face difficulties and face difficulties in the future.
Source: Homeschooling
Producer: Mao Yaming
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