Wen/Lan Mama on parenting
"I really hate people who can't move to dry their babies, I don't know what to dry, I have blocked"
"Who's who, all day in the circle of friends, I don't think it's cute at all"
"I never post in the circle of friends, always afraid of disturbing everyone"
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In fact, the circle of friends is like a photo album full of care and memories, where we can leave a beautiful and concerned about the happiness of others, but I don't know when it starts, the circle of friends' mothers begin to be less and less, worried about disturbing others, afraid of sending a lonely (no one pays attention)?
Simply put, the factors that block the motivation of the baby lie in psychological perception, especially when the mother is more fragile inside, and many times even if the baby does not frequently brush the screen, it will also be hurt because of the inadvertent words of others "do not like the circle of friends of the baby every day".
There is a friend, she grew up in a single-parent family, after having a daughter, she often posts the baby, records the life copywriting, many beautiful pictures will be recorded and slowly recalled, but with more and more photos stored in the mobile phone, want to leave the child's growth points began to get used to putting the baby in the circle of friends, at the beginning there were many relatives and friends like comments, with the days after the long comments liked the people returned to zero, the frequency of friends to show the baby began to be less than once.
Originally, the circle of friends brush screen this matter in many people's eyes are bad, showing off things, under the influence of the environment friends although they want to share the child's growth bits, but when they think of "will disturb, attract people to suspect" when they begin to retreat, many times are a circle of friends wrote and wrote, changed and changed, and finally decided to quietly delete the draft, in the circle of friends to be a quiet official.
The circle of friends suddenly did not want to be visible for three days
Regarding the circle of friends life sharing, Lan Mama has always believed that the truth is not so bad, aside from marketing needs, most people's sharing intentions are still in the good records, but because everyone's aesthetics, understanding, including values are different, and ultimately affect the things they look at feel different, if you have to ask "what is the meaning of those who post the circle of friends", then today I finally found a satisfactory answer.
This is a heavy, sad topic, MU5735 passenger plane crash made countless people sleepless, everyone in the prayer miracle at the same time in the sense of impermanence of life, that moment, many times, many things no matter how tormented than "life is better", and when everyone is more sad, a paragraph caused a heated discussion, but also brought everyone to the memory of life.
This passage says:
"The circle of friends suddenly does not want to be visible for three days, afraid that in case something happens in the future, my parents will not see my circle of friends when they think of me"
If you think about it, aren't those footprints of the circle of friends who are basking in the baby, sunbathing, and sunning life a good memory when we miss it? This is also the standard answer to our question about "what is the meaning of the circle of friends", memories are treasured, beautiful, but also a comfort to the thoughts of relatives, especially after the children have study, work, their own families, the biggest entanglement and miss around them are in the parents, if we and our children can not accompany the elderly all the time, can not see the great rivers and mountains together, can leave their footprints to them is also a filial piety comfort.
Therefore, relatives and friends in the circle of friends is not as bad as imagined, but different people appreciate different thoughts, for people who miss and care is beautiful, for unrelated people may be disturbed, so there are advantages and disadvantages to the circle of friends, and we usually only need to pay attention to this when we post the circle of friends, do a good job of "different memories for different people" to record the good, in the memory of the baby, and disturb not disturbed and other issues can be balanced development.
So, how should parents do a good job of "different memories for different people" when they are basking their babies?
1. Set who can watch
Want to post the circle of friends and afraid of disturbing others, in fact, this problem is very well solved, we usually send a circle of friends will also encounter the "set who can see" this function, especially often send photos to record the growth of children's friends, in order to avoid disturbing others can use this function, of which the circle of friends can be divided into public (all friends can be seen), private (only their own visible), partially visible (select friends visible), and do not show to whom (select friends are not visible) and other four items, Generally, the more commonly used are partially visible relatives and friends settings.
For example, when the baby is daily, we often pay attention to our grandparents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, husbands (wives), then we can set this kind of person as a partially visible "relative group", usually these dynamics are also the life memories that the relatives group likes to see, especially the relatives who do not often live together can also be closer and closer through interaction, talk about thoughts, all say that people who like you are good in circles, and pay attention to our relatives will naturally treat these life memories as beautiful and close to the daily communication of family affection.
2. Use the collection function
The cute moment of children's growth, many mothers can't help but clap, applaud, eat, run, brush teeth, mouth to shoot...
In short, the child's random footprints are interesting and memorable in the eyes of the mother, but the excessive use of videos and photos on the phone will also "protest", a "insufficient available memory" reminder will eventually have to obediently clean up the photos, at this time many parents will fall into the "delete which, which are reluctant to delete the situation."
At this time, in addition to filtering out better photos, we can also use the collection function of the circle of friends, the collection function includes files, pictures and videos, music, voice, chat history, notes, etc., parents can be fixed upload according to their own needs, in a glance in the options we can also quickly find the growth footprints that need to be understood, which is a good "lazy artifact" for parents who are busy every day and do not like to send circles of friends in groups.
3. Retain the growth file
Too many photos? Videos and photos of mobile phones lack a sense of ceremony? It is recommended that parents can extract some relatively good photos to make a growth file for their children every year, like some multi-functional growth archives can not only store photos, but also can store children's awards, posters or albums, these bits and pieces are good memories for children, and happiness records, and parent-child interaction is the most effective companion education for now, and it will be a good memory for the future.
The advantage of establishing a growth file for the child every year is that the overall memory record of the child's growth level, and the evaluation, like the child's annual award, album or manual report, in fact, not only as a memory, it is the result of the child's efforts, the evaluation of growth, the child's past growth file understanding can generate memories, while their own advantages and disadvantages, and the new stage of growth will make a certain goal and management, if you are a delicate, ritualistic parent, may wish to keep the growth file for the child, Leave the value behind!
4. Take photos
Compared with the circle of friends and the growth archives, the memory experience brought by taking photos is more exquisite and formal, and the photo can record the most beautiful moments of children's growth, especially after professional clothing, multiple shots, and multiple selections of cute moments, it is not only a memory provided by parents for children, but also a treasure, commemoration and witness of children's growth.
The reason why photo photos like to be placed in the obvious place of home, in fact, is the recognition and nostalgia of good memories, especially the clear visible growth footprint can also beautify the mood, when life is not satisfactory, parenting is not ideal when looking up at the photo, you will find that in fact, "things are not so bad, children are not so annoying", this kind of reliving the child's childish face is still a rational preservation in education.
Although taking photos is a beautiful growth record, it is also a more fashionable consumption trend today, but photo photos do not need excessive consumption, such as 100 days photos, young children, small junior high school, high school graduation, college graduation and other special age groups, coupled with professional photos are often more beautiful, and can not be copied Memories cherished, although photo photos are very memorable, but in the special age also need to follow the child's own wishes, so that the raised children will be easy to respect and appreciate others in the future.
5. The way to write a diary
The heart of parents in the world, every parent's love for their children is better than their love for themselves, they are more reflected in the actual rush of food, clothing, learning and education, etc., like many children when they are young, they are inseparable from their parents, very attached, and when they grow up, they suddenly do not know that from a certain stage, children are more bored with us, no longer smile at the camera, do not like to pose, and do not like to sit with us and chat and ask why, and the reason why parents no longer post the circle of friends, but also most of them are began to estrange from the relationship with children.
At this time, if there is no circle of friends to post and no photos to record, how should parents record the good memories? At this time, parents can use the way of writing a diary to save memories, like many parents who are not good at words can put what they say to their children "into the diary", all say that parents are a mirror in the growth of children, how parents do, how children will learn, if parents have the habit of writing diaries, children will also like to write and draw.
Regarding the diary memoir, although the words written by parents may not be understood by children for the time being, but with the extension and development of common interests, the relaxation of parent-child relationship is also just around the corner, especially when the child enters adolescence, if parents share a diary with their children, this is not only the beginning of talking about trust, but also a silent confession, which is more than a lot of concern and reprimand, children also prefer this kind of warmth of love in the form of a diary, what is important is that a good parent-child relationship is not how much to say, but "I understand you" three words.
Memories, is a very good emotional preservation, life needs to move forward, also need to remember, on the way to raising children we give children a lot of love, but children can feel the aftertaste in the future is not much, a photo, a photo, a video, will become the child's future happiness memories, when the child proudly said "Wow, this is when I was a child, when my parents were young...".
So, don't miss the good time of raising a baby, you can record it, at some point in the future, when the child has his own life, when he has his own family, you will find that a sneeze of the child, a pout, a tear, will be a good memory treasure, at that time, you will also thank you for your current growth record, although it seems insignificant!
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I am Lan Ma, focusing on the analysis of the parenting field author, with personal examples, a variety of family education examples, to record the moment of parenting feelings, like friends, welcome to pay attention to @ Lan Mama talk about parenting together to learn and grow together!