In the TV series "Do You Know If It Should Be Green Fat Red Skinny", Qi Heng and Minglan have gone through several twists and turns, and they have never been able to be together, so they ask Gu Tingye to take back the two people's promise letters. At that time, Minglan was heartbroken and had no confidence in the future life, Gu Tingye advised her to look forward in everything, she said: The eyes are long in front, people are going to look forward, come to this world to walk, this is to live a good life.
Indeed, when the past happened, no matter how much it is worth remembering, it is over. All we can do is move forward step by step and live a more exciting life. Always obsessing over the past will only miss the right person and hurt the person who is really good to us.
Ms. Li, 45, once had an 11-year marriage, in her eyes the ex-husband was excellent, gentle, considerate, and golden, and the only drawback was that she liked the new and tired of the old, so the marriage came to an end.
After that, I met Mr. Li in the single group, and the two hit it off, the three views were the same, and after getting along for more than a month, they decided to live together. Originally agreed to be in love for two years, get a license on May 20, 2021, and support each other for the rest of their lives, but when it came to the agreed date, Mr. Li rebelled and did not mention anything about the license.
For Mr. Li's attitude, Ms. Yang was very anxious, and after repeated questioning by her, Mr. Li finally expressed his doubts in his heart, which made everyone stunned.
01 Often put the ex-husband on the side of the mouth, sprinkle salt on the mouth of the person
Ms. Yang is a text lover, used to write and paint, record the bits and pieces of life, in her view, in the past life, good places should be learned, bad places, should be avoided.
Therefore, in the love affair with Mr. Li, she often put the advantages of her ex-husband on her lips, such as high education, making money, literacy and so on.
In Ms. Yang's view, her words are to spur Mr. Li to work harder, to be a better man, to create a better quality of life for the family, and there is absolutely no meaning of holding high and stepping low and hitting Mr. Li.
However, As an adult male, Mr. Li has his own pride and self-esteem, and Ms. Yang's words of praise for her ex-husband make him unbearable, and even in his opinion, Ms. Yang simply looks down on him.
However, Ms. Yang did not care, and even said that she could accept Mr. Li's praise for his ex-wife and was willing to let Mr. Li often hang on to his ex-wife. Because her ex-husband and Mr. Li's ex-wife have both remarried and had children, it is impossible to disturb their lives.
Ms. Yang's statements and behaviors are simply unbelievable, and her actions all show a point of view: she is not forgetting her ex-husband's love, and marrying Mr. Li is just to find a home, not because of appreciation and liking.
After all, a woman who cares about a man will never want him to have any women entangled, especially a woman with a special status like her ex-wife.
Moreover, because Ms. Yang was hurt in the previous marriage, she was extremely insecure and developed very bad living habits.
02 Insecure in his heart, he treats his home as a recycling bin
Mr. Li is a gentle personality, simple life, in his view, remarried wife can not be beautiful, but can run the family. Although he and Ms. Yang have the same hobbies and common topics, Ms. Yang's living habits make him unbearable.
Ms. Yang has hoarded a lot of garbage bags, paper shells, plastic bottles, waste paper, old home appliances, etc. at home, and a house that was originally spacious and bright is now only a walkway, and the room is full of waste.
For this kind of behavior, Ms. Yang gave three reasons: first, there is no sense of security in her heart; second, there is a sense of environmental protection; and third, relief for poor relatives at home.
Ms. Yang's behavior, like the older generation that suffered when she was young, always collected a lot of useless things, thinking that one day it would come in handy. In fact, waste is waste, only after being recycled can there be use value, hoarding in the home, will only breed bacteria.
I remember that there is a passage in Hideko Yamashita's "Broken Departure": The protagonist of the broken separation is not an object, but himself, and the timeline is always now. The trick to choosing an item is not "whether it can be used", but "whether I want to use it", which must be engraved in the heart.
In our lifetime, we will meet all kinds of people, some people come to give us warmth, and some people come to let us see human nature. What we have to do is to keep the right guy behind, instead of seeing a shining point on the bad guy and treating him like a treasure.
The process of cleaning up items is also the process of cleaning up the heart, when you distinguish between what necessities and waste, you can let go of your inner obsession and live more easily.
03 Looking back at the centenary body, cherish the people in front of you
After Mr. Li expressed his inner concerns, Ms. Yang also immediately took action and began to clean up the waste in her home, saying that she would correct her words and deeds, no longer "speak bluntly" and create contradictions.
The book "Happy Marriage" writes: "In the face of conflict, if you are willing to make concessions for your spouse to do small things, your marriage will become more and more harmonious." ”
It is said that "the good-looking skin bag is the same, the interesting soul is one in a hundred", although Ms. Yang's behavior is somewhat inappropriate, but it is very difficult to find people who fit the three views, and it is very difficult to have the other half of the common topic, as long as Mr. Li gives care and guidance, I believe that Ms. Yang will also be a qualified wife.
I hope that they can eliminate their inner mustard and usher in a happy married life again.