preface
Two indoor photos with very different styles, which one do you like?
How do you feel in a cluttered, crowded room? When I enter such a space, I feel depressed and heavy. The strongest feeling is to flee!
The simple indoor environment makes people comfortable and comfortable, as if every cell of the body is like a spring breeze. The minimalist environment is the result of disconnection.
Renunciation is learning to put down an object and make a psychological cut. Thanks to its companionship along the way, completed its mission, say "thanks" and "goodbye".
Cut off your reluctance to objects and people, and remember the past. In fact, it is more energy consumption, which is unnecessary entanglement and contradiction.
It takes courage and courage to let go, to clear the shackles of the past, and to let the new things in. This metabolism is not only the embodiment of the relationship between people and things, but also the refraction of the relationship between people.
There is "out" before there is "in", to achieve a balance, so that life returns to its natural state. This is a philosophy of survival and wisdom, and it is a lesson that everyone needs to cultivate.
Breaking away is a life-changing shortcut! The three types of people who are most suitable for breaking away from each other -
01. Escapist type
This type of person does not seriously do housework due to busy work, short time at home, and many have feelings for family and housework, do not want to stay at home, and only want to bury their heads in work.
Seeing the mess at home, the mood is particularly bad, and I am even more reluctant to stay at home and fall into a bad cycle. But once you start to clean up, you don't have much attachment to the items themselves, you will tidy them up cleanly, and you won't hesitate to delay.
Eun Joo, the heroine of the Korean drama "Eun Joo's Room", is a layout designer who needs to work overtime often and is on standby at any time.
Sometimes I have gone home and am preparing to go to bed, but I am overwhelmed by a text message from my boss and must return to the company immediately to solve the problem.
Intensive work, unable to take care of the home, the walls have grown mold; clothes are piled up everywhere; the sink is too late to wash the pots and pans. Faced with a messy house, I didn't want to clean up at all.
She asked herself, "How long will the meaning of life be left except for work, and only breathe?" ”
Finally, one day, fed up with the insults and unreasonable demands of his superiors, he decided to resign and leave.
She was home alone and had nothing to do for half a year. Until he gave himself a birthday, he inadvertently spilled red wine on a large wall, and he could not wipe it clean with all his efforts, so he had to give up. Helpless and an interior designer friend, the room was renovated.
During the renovation process, Eun Joo was satisfied and happy as never before. He said with emotion: "Because the lights have turned on, I feel that my own heart has also become brighter!" ”
Eun Joo is the epitome of many people, troubled by work and life, realistic anxiety is like a shadow, life is compressed by work to be just and ok, and there is no time to take care of the living environment.
Harvard Business School research found that people with strong happiness often have a very clean and tidy home environment, while unfortunate people usually live in messy and dirty.
Only by throwing away what is visible can we change the invisible world. The living environment is the refraction of the heart, if you want to change the status quo, start from the breakaway, to create a comfortable home environment for yourself.
The process of tidying up can alleviate anxiety and enjoy the beauty of life. Harvest achievements and a sense of value, get more in one fell swoop, why not enjoy it?
02. Clinging to the past
This type of person will always collect and treasure a lot of old objects, carefully keeping previous photo albums, or trophies and medals, as well as letters, photos and other small objects with past memories.
They are always indulging in the happy times of the past, unwilling to face reality, and have something to do with the escapist type.
Ms. Feng lived alone after the divorce, and for 7 years she kept her ex-husband's furniture, which was stuffed with unwanted sundries, and the room was like a warehouse.
She had a secret that even her closest family and friends didn't know. Dare not tell others that they are divorced, influenced by traditional ideas, think that divorce is taboo, even disgraceful, and do not want to face the fact of divorce.
The original family even believes that "the daughter who marries out is spilled water", and after the daughter gets married, she can no longer step into the threshold of the mother's family.
She takes it for granted that "no one will agree to divorce themselves". Therefore, I have kept this secret for 7 years and have never let go.
When she realized her stubborn irrational beliefs, she began to break away and throw away all the furniture of her ex-husband. Finally felt the joy and courage to tell family and friends the news of the divorce and began to enjoy the single life.
In the Book of Renunciation, it is said: "What is powerless should be broken; those who have no cause in life should be abandoned; and all desires in the heart should be departed." As far as the eye can see, it is all memories, what the heart thinks, it is all the past, let go of attachment, in order to return to peace. ”
When we dwell on the past, the more we care about and hate something, the more we are bound by it. Change your cognition, try to accept and love it, and the freer you will be.
If you love your past, you will no longer be bound by it, and you will be able to live in happiness and joy.
Psychologist Shi Qijia said: "Everyone who matures must say goodbye to an experience and say goodbye to their past selves. ”
To break off the obsession with the past is to reconcile with the self and to say a solemn goodbye to the past self.
It's a kind of self-care that makes room for the psyche, allowing more important people to walk into their own spiritual garden and build healthy interpersonal relationships.
03. Worry about the future
This kind of person is constantly worried about future events, and constantly reserves things for the future.
The eyes only stare at "something is not there, I will definitely worry about it in the future", and I have hoarded too much daily necessities such as paper. It is not bad to plan ahead, and overreacting can bring anxiety to daily life.
Belikov in "The Man in the Condom", even if he goes out on a sunny day, he must wear a set of shoes and an umbrella. He put a pocket watch, an umbrella, a knife for sharpening a pencil, etc., all in a condom.
And behaved strangely, hiding his face in the upturned collar, putting black glasses on his face, and stuffing cotton into his ears. Dressed like this, it seems that the face is also in the condom.
His most classic words are the mantra that hangs on his lips all the time: "Don't make any trouble." ”
He was afraid of the unknown, did not dare to face change, felt dangerous, and did not have any sense of security. Thinking that the outside world is extremely insecure, that anyone can hurt themselves, and that all changes are uncontrollable.
In the end, he actually scared himself to death and refreshed people's cognition.
The typical feature of this type of person is that they are busy, and they dare not stop, because they will think wildly when they are idle. Worry about the future and imagine all kinds of catastrophic events that may occur.
The Harvard Psychology Laboratory has conducted scientific research on human anxiety, and the results show that almost 99% of human anxiety is unnecessary. Statistics found that 40% of worries stem from worries about the future.
Have you ever had the experience of always thinking about the worst of things unconsciously? Whether it is work or life, when encountering problems, the instinctive reaction is "what if I mess up"?
Entering the new environment of the workplace, you are worried that you will not be accepted by the team, rejected by colleagues, and will not be recognized by the leadership...
Always think too much and do too little.
Psychologist Adler believes that there are three major constraints on life: the past; relationships; and the future.
Fear of the unknown and uncertainty is an instinctive reaction, and there is nothing wrong with it. But if you are always kidnapped by this feeling, you will be wrapped up in emotions and become its slave.
The simplest and most brutal solution is to break away from inherent beliefs, clean up spiritual garbage, and rebuild your cognition.
Write at the end
Breaking away is material minimalism and spiritual abundance. The yin-yang balance of subtraction and addition is the embodiment of internal and external coordination.
Renunciation begins with things and extends to relationships with others; irrational beliefs; stereotypes, etc. It's a journey of discovery, a process of self-exploration, and a life-changing shortcut!
It is not to sever the connection with the past, but to properly place and manage the past. Be impressed with happiness and good memories, but also try to accept unhappy and even painful memories.
This is self-integration, and only the harmony of yin and yang can be full of vitality.
Only by placing the past well can we have a positive interaction with the future and truly live in the present. This is to establish an orderly psychological environment that attracts high-energy people and things, brings good luck to themselves, and happiness unexpectedly meets.
Writer Bi Shumin said: "If you build a house for yourself in your heart, filled with our love and hate, then you need to pay attention to balance." If you want to relive peace, you have to destroy your spiritual garbage and reshape your spiritual world. ”
The separation of the past-present-future is closely linked, and one prospers and one loses.
Manage the relationship between the three, let it help life, and create more possibilities!
For the breakaway, what do you think, welcome to leave a message, discuss, and tell your true insights!
【Ontology: A psychological counselor who does not play cards according to the routine, discusses psychological and social attitudes, and grows for life! Welcome to pay attention to @ ontology free, practice and grow together! 】