People often ask what a happy marriage is.
Although everyone's understanding of marriage is different, everyone's requirements are similar, and they all hope to find a partner who loves themselves and knows the cold and the heat.
But such a request seems to be difficult, because I have heard too many people say that I have done so much in marriage, he is not appreciative at all, I am reluctant to eat, I am reluctant to wear, give him everything that is good, why is he still bad for me.
He usually doesn't care about me at home, he doesn't care about me, I am still so good to him, and he will not find such a good person as me in the future.
We were really separated and he would regret it.
So are you absolutely right in marriage, and he is useless?
If so, why did you want to be with him in the first place?
In fact, from their mode of getting along, we can see that most unhappy marriages are: sacrificing themselves and blaming him.
Women are accustomed to paying themselves in marriage, good ones to their families, they are very wronged, hoping to exchange this for each other's love, but in the end they find that they have paid so much, not only can not get, may also suffer a stomach of grievances.
She didn't understand why that was the case.
Could it be that I wasn't good enough for him?
In fact, no, we all say that love is overflowing, you first be good to yourself, in order to love others well, if you just wronged yourself, when you meet a person who knows gratitude, you may be very happy.
Because he knows your efforts, he appreciates you, he loves you, but if you meet someone who doesn't know how to be grateful, then you will be full of complaints.
And people don't like to complain about people, start you complaining, he may still have a little guilt, over time, he will only feel that you are nagging.
You are becoming more and more aggrieved.
When you are wronged, you begin to blame him, complain that he does not hurt you, does not take care of you, and even to work, do not earn much money, bad temper.
You start from a bad point of him and start to expand to where he is flawed.
And after he hears your accusations, he breaks the jar even more, forming a vicious circle between the two people.
In fact, in a healthy and balanced marriage, men do not need women to sacrifice themselves too much, and they need women to appreciate themselves more.
It's as if some people can't understand why the lady next door doesn't do anything, and her husband still loves her so much.
Maybe what you see is that she doesn't do things, but doesn't know that she will praise her husband at home, will encourage him, appreciate him, and motivate the other party to give in the right way.
Both people are very happy, women do not wronged themselves, men are happy to serve.
That is what we often say, the mode of marriage happiness is: love yourself and be grateful to him.
When you love yourself, you will not complain to everyone around you, you will be happy, because your own mood is happy.
Others are willing to be with you too.
The other half feels your happiness and appreciation, and he is more willing to cooperate with you and make the family better.
Everyone doesn't want the other to blame themselves.
As the book "Happy Marriage" says, if you want your marriage to be better, then you must learn to love yourself, be grateful to him, and you sincerely praise every little thing he does.
When he does not do it, do not be difficult for him, it is not difficult for himself, there is always a solution.
Only if you love yourself first, will your heart be full of love.
Love yourself, you will not expect too much from him, because there are expectations will be disappointed, so that both sides will be very tired, and when you love yourself, you will find a way to make yourself happy, happy, the other party is more accepting of your way of getting along.
Loving yourself means not putting all your hopes on him, not suffering from gains and losses because he didn't buy you a gift, and not sulking because he ignored you for a while.
You have your own interests, you have your own life, he's just part of it.
When your whole person is not attached to him, he will be relaxed, otherwise you hollow out your own giving, and the other party is also afraid, because it is too heavy.
Willing to invest in yourself, material, spiritual, emotional can be, so that you will have a fuller spirit to look at the world, grateful for the people around you.
Only then do you have the strength to run a marriage, learn to love yourself, store love in your heart, and love others.
In this way with your lover, you have the same love to give back to him and nourish each other, instead of consuming the love of two people, making the relationship bad, and making him finally have to leave you.