Think back to what was the last thing you wanted to hear your parents say when you were a kid?
It is estimated that many people will say in unison, "Other people's children..."
Do you have such childhood shadows?
Childhood should be beautiful and happy, which is what anyone expects, but not all children can have a good and happy childhood. There are also some children who do not have a good childhood and may need to be cured with a lifetime. It may not be because of how poor the family is, but more often, it may be brought by the parents.
Parents are always self-righteous for the good of their children, in order to cultivate their children to be the way they expect, so they always point fingers at their children. For example, parents fail to fulfill their college dreams, which will force their children to study hard to achieve the goal of raising a college student.
It may also be that parents have no big career in their lives, living in poverty, so they do not want their children to go their own old ways, so they want to cultivate their children from an early age, so that children can become prominent and be able to get ahead in the future.
Parents always think of doing all kinds of efforts for the good of their children, which is very great, but they may ignore the feelings of their children. And when constantly forcing children to work hard, they always say these three sentences. As everyone knows, every sentence of these words is very hurtful, and every time it is said, it is a merciless blow to the child.
Not only can not let the child become more motivated, but also make the child become self-destructive, more stubborn and rebellious. Do you say these words a lot?
Sentence 1:
You see other people's children, how good, how hard they work
"Someone else's child!" I believe that many parents are using this to motivate their children. We should have listened to it countless times, and parents said, "How good other people's children are, how hard they work." Over time, it may be that "other people's children" have become the shadow of the child's yin childhood, lingering.
Parents are thinking of using other people's children to motivate their children and make their children work harder to learn and forge ahead. Although the starting point is good, if parents always say this, not only will the child have disgust and rebellious emotions, but also because the child's psychological endurance is poor, under the repeated blows of other people's children, the broken jar will be broken and broken, and it will become more self-abandoned.
If you really want your children to become more excellent, then it is best to talk less about the advantages of other people's children, and pay more attention to the advantages of your own children and see the efforts and progress of your own children
When criticizing children, we should first point out the children's advantages and efforts to progress, give full affirmation, and then point out the children's shortcomings, so that the children feel the attention of their parents to themselves and see their own efforts, so that children can better understand the good intentions of their parents
Know that the "big stick plus red date" strategy is never outdated, and it is much better than always mentioning other people's children.
Sentence 2:
Study hard and don't care about anything else
Parents say this for their children, so that they can have more time to study and study in order to improve their grades. Although the parents' intentions are good, such a statement is somewhat underconsidered.
To know that the children are originally active and lively, originally are children with strong hands-on ability, many things want to try it, but because parents do not let children do anything, the result of the child's hands-on ability will slowly deteriorate.
From the original active, hands-on ability of the child, into a delicious lazy child, food to open the mouth, clothes to reach out. Even if the child really has excellent grades, but lacks hands-on ability and practical ability, most of the children raised in this way are just nerds, and the child's adaptability may also become worse!
In the future, it will be difficult to adapt to the various pressures and challenges of society, after all, after entering the society, there is no one who will serve themselves wholeheartedly and provide various conveniences for themselves like their parents. Many things require children to work hard and do it themselves. As a result, it is impossible to adapt to society and adapt to work, and all kinds of unhappiness occur.
We must know that in addition to learning can improve children, in fact, many things in life can improve children's ability.
Properly exposing children to all aspects of life is also able to apply the knowledge learned by children to practice, and the combination of theory and practice is more conducive to children's understanding and improvement of knowledge.
Take the child's writing essay, if the child only knows how to learn every day, in addition to learning nothing to do, then the child's composition, often will be nothing, can not write the true feeling, because there is no experience!
For the healthy growth of children, parents not only need to urge their children to study hard, but also need to exercise their children's ability to use their brains and the ability to be independent. Appropriate arrangements for children to do what they can, so that they can better regulate the child's learning pressure, so that the child can be moral, intellectual, physically, and physically develop in an all-round way.
Sentence 3:
You are like this, and it will be difficult to do anything in the future
When the child reads, the only criterion for parents to judge the child may only be to look at the child's grades. When a child's grades decline, parents may be angry and start mocking their children. You may say to your child, "That's all there is to it, and there will be nothing to come out of in the future." ”
Although sometimes it may be a momentary angry words, it may also be thinking of using the radical method. But it ignores the child's psychological endurance, ignores the child's efforts, forgets to help the child find the reason for poor grades, and just blindly feels that the child does not study hard and does not have to work.
Under the long-term blows of parents and the sneering of their parents, children gradually become more self-abandoned and no longer strive to be self-motivated, and children who grow up in such an environment eventually become difficult to make a difference.
In the child's heart, the words of parents are often the most authoritative. Under the constant blows and ridicule of parents, the child may really believe what the parents say, think that they really can't really do it, and then you will never think about the things you worked hard again.
In fact, if you want your child to have a good job and excellent grades, it is actually not so difficult. Children need more encouragement, parents continue to find the shining points in the child, the child's efforts to improve and then encourage, more can make the child have the motivation to struggle. Then let the children face up to their shortcomings and shortcomings, but not exaggerate, otherwise it may become the last straw to crush the children.
For parents to educate their children, the problems that exist in their children, we can not exaggerate, but also can not ignore, but should face this problem, slowly and patiently help children to find solutions.
Don't always think of using the radical method to make the child change, but should constantly praise and praise the child's progress. Then tell the child that as long as he changes his shortcomings a little bit and works harder, then the child is more likely to become more excellent and more successful in the future.
It is easier for parents to accept that language is an art, and the same thing, under the stimulation of different words, may develop in the opposite direction. When parents educate their children, it is best not to say the above three sentences, so as to better promote the healthy development of their children. Do you agree?