This article is original 丨 good mother
My sister is a kindergarten teacher, and because she often communicates with her children, she often teaches me this: we must be cautious when choosing marriage, and the divorce of parents will hurt the children too much!
The reason for this sentiment is that she witnessed the process of a boy changing due to his parents' divorce:
Tong Tong is 7 years old, his personality has always been very cheerful, and he can play with the boys and girls in the class and bring snacks and toys to everyone. But in the past two weeks, he has always been alone in a daze, and he has always quarreled with his classmates, and other children accidentally touched his arm and began to cry.
In line with the principle of teaching and educating people, the teacher perceived the change in the child's personality, and when he reported the situation to the head of the kindergarten, he knew that the original child's father and mother had just divorced, and the child lived with his father, which may be the reason for the change of the child.
What are the characteristics of a baby in a divorced family? Kindergarten teachers point out three characteristics and do not deliberately grade them
In the past, parents often said "if the child had not left early", now, the divorce rate of husband and wife is getting higher and higher, will the divorce of parents cause harm to the child?
A University in Beijing once did a survey on this, and by tracking the children of divorced families in the lower grades, it was found that 28% of them had irritability, 28% had nightmares, 27% were unusually afraid, and 25% were oversensitive. Moreover, the children of divorced families have obviously lagged behind the children of two-parent families in terms of expression ability, personality characteristics, and intellectual development.
After the child enters the kindergarten, the teacher of the elderly can see at a glance which children may be single parents, and also summarizes the three characteristics of the children of the divorced family, not deliberately dividing the ranks.
Feature 1: Body type obesity
Obese children do not necessarily have divorced parents, but children whose parents divorce tend to be obese, and there are two main reasons:
Parents will pay too much attention to the child after divorce, grandparents, parents, grandparents, etc. are worried about the child's inner injury, for a time excessive care and pampering, buy a lot of snacks to make the child happy, the child wants to eat hamburgers, fried skewers and other fried foods are also full of promises, naturally fat.
Emotional uneasiness overeating, young men and women will overeat due to lovelessness, children will also be sad because of the lack of parents, so as to eat a lot to find a sense of security, over time calorie accumulation and no exercise, will become fat.
Feature two: melancholy and unsociable
As mentioned at the beginning of the boy, the original cheerful personality, after the divorce of their parents is extremely sensitive, emotional twists and turns, but also always alone in a daze, these are the often manifestations of divorced family dolls.
The child's mental development is not perfect, the parents are the most important people in the world, once one party leaves the harm caused to the child is difficult to repair, the child will fall into negative emotions, behave unusually melancholy and do not fit in.
Characteristic three: backward intellectual development
Professor Lin Chongde found through a study of 65 samples that divorced families did not have a significant impact on the overall intelligence of children, but when investigated in stages, it could be verified that there was a negative impact on the intelligence of young children.
The child's intelligence is affected by many factors, the sister once met such a single mother, the child wants to let the parents remarry, deliberately lie and say "×× scold me for not having a father", and then the mother took the child to scold the classmate and then transferred to the school.
It is not so much that divorced families affect children's intelligence, but rather that divorce affects children's development, and parental indifference and violence grow imperceptibly in children's hearts, which is likely to endanger society in the future.
"Divorce" is a product of social civilization, and if it is not handled well, it will make the child become a "product" that endangers society, and I hope that every parent will choose carefully and not delay the child's life because of a whim.
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