What kind of "love" does a child need?
It also takes a huge amount of effort to raise and educate children, why are other people's children obedient and sensible, and their own children naughty and naughty?
This is believed to be something that most parents are troubled and confused about.
01
Children need to be cared for, just as puppies and kittens as pets also need proper companionship, petting and teasing. But as children of intelligent beings, there will obviously be more needs and willingness.
Many parents will feel that I take care of my children to eat and wear warmly, and urge my children to endorse the book to do the problem, is not it a dedicated companionship?
In fact, meeting the needs of a child's life is only the most basic care. In addition to eating and dressing warmly, every child also has the need to communicate, seek knowledge and grow.
More critically, in the process of raising children, the cultivation of children's emotions and personalities.
Now there are many parents, because they are usually busy at work, or need to go to work far away, they give the responsibility of raising children to the elderly. It is reasonable to say that parents are responsible for making money, and the elderly like children and are willing to accompany their children, which should be the best education.
However, the reality is that parents do not have time to spend with their children, and the elderly only care about spoiling their children.
Many parents who love their children are very willing to spend money on their children, from toys and cartoons, to apply for cram schools and buy school district houses, it can be said that every major investment of the family is almost for the sake of their children's lives and futures. But with all the effort to invest, the child's academic performance has not improved much, and the temperament and personality are still naughty and naughty.
So what kind of "love" does a child need to be as good as someone else's child?
02
A warm and loving family is a necessary condition for the physical and mental health of children.
For a child, how hard the parents work and how difficult it is to make money, these problems can not be deeply experienced in the age of primary and secondary school students. However, the child can recognize and perceive whether the marital feelings of the family and the parent-child relationship are harmonious.
What's more, today's children are frequently exposed to the Internet, information and digital devices, and children must have their own judgments about how their parents' feelings can live in harmony. Moreover, because children are naïve and simple in thinking, it is easy to extend from their parents' words and deeds, smiles and smiles to their parents' stubborn prejudices and absurd views on themselves.
Many parents usually because of busy work, rarely accompany their children, which makes the parents' words and deeds have an almost minimal impact on the psychological growth of children. Every child has a strong curiosity and desire to imitate, if he rarely sees his parents correctly handling contradictions and disputes, he is rarely pleasant to his family, and he always talks and acts backwards, never believing in promises.
Then children who are "hit hard" in their hearts will certainly find it difficult to have respect, trust and gratitude for their parents, and will intensify their "digestion" for their own use, so that the psychological shadows and emotional traumas of childhood will still have residues and scars even after adulthood.
Therefore, if you want to raise a confident and happy child, you must first reflect:
Have the relationship between husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and parent-child relationship in their own home been handled well?
03
It can be seen that the love that children need is mainly emotional feelings, and the love that parents should establish should start from words and deeds.
When there is a contradiction and quarrel between husband and wife, mother-in-law and parent-child, you can't always feel that you are 100% correct, just think of letting others listen to you, the other party shows an attitude of unwillingness or unwillingness to listen, your own mentality will explode, not only the tone is getting heavier, but also often hurt people and fight hard.
Under such a moody and unprincipled education, the child's heart is naturally difficult to say happy, painful and depressed.
There are also some parents, once they see that their wives or children have some habits that are not very good, but they will never calmly persuade, always see that the family has done something wrong, they will jump like thunder, thinking that the stronger their "stress response", the more the family will pay more attention to it, and the child will be more obedient.
But in fact, the more irritable, impulsive and irritable the education, the more it will make the child's personality become cringe and cautious. If you accidentally say a wrong word or do a wrong thing, it will be exchanged for scolding and punishment like a storm, and what other child is willing to continue to try and work hard when encountering difficulties in school and life?
Therefore, if your own children always shrink back from things, hesitate and cowardice, then parents should first reflect on themselves, whether they are always seeking perfection and scolding and punishing their children at home, causing indelible "trauma" to the child's soul.
In short, every family is like a team that should be close to cooperation, communication and friendship, and have a common goal, if we, as parents, do not have a sense of teamwork when getting along with our families, always like to argue at home that you are wrong with me, you win and I lose, or simply hand over the child to the elderly, and do a "hand-shaking treasurer" that does not care, then the child's education will naturally lose at the starting line.
In fact, no matter what mistakes the child makes at home and at school, the family should be a tolerant, rational and enlightened "comfort station", so that the child can get companionship, love and comfort anytime and anywhere, rather than being scolded when he says a mistake, beaten when he makes a mistake, and punished when he writes a mistake.
The best education is that the father loves the mother, and the parents accompany the child.