The author | Dong Lin Fu
Xiao Ke, a former colleague and friend, called me: "Thanks to listening to your words, I spent some money to go to the confinement center to sit in confinement, otherwise I would definitely be tortured to postpartum depression now." ”
Xiao Ke has been home from the confinement center for a week, listening to the tone of her speech, and the mother-in-law has a conflict, fortunately, she has been more than 40 days after childbirth, and Xiao Ke's body has recovered almost completely.
Sure enough, Xiao Ke spat on me on the phone: for example, the mother-in-law did not let the child wear diapers, had to give the child urine, let the child wear diapers, but could not change the child in time. Holding the child and shaking it, I want the child to go to bed early. Every day let her drink pig's foot soup without any ingredients, want to let Xiao Ke have more milk, but in fact, Xiao Ke's milk is too much, the child can't eat it at all, and even often block the milk....
When I first heard that Xiao Ke had booked a confinement center, especially when I heard that it would cost 38,000 yuan for 42 days, Xiao Ke's mother-in-law patted her chest and said: "What do you spend that money for, I will serve you for the confinement!" ”
Listening to the mother-in-law say so, Xiao Ke was a little moved at that time, after all, the mother-in-law took the initiative to promise to serve her confinement, 38,000 yuan is not a small amount, if you can save, but also save a lot of money for the family.
Xiao Ke called me for advice and asked me whether she was going to the confinement center or at home to let her mother-in-law wait for the confinement.
In fact, I understand the reason why Xiao Ke is entangled, on the one hand, Xiao Ke feels that she can save 38,000 yuan, which is very tempting for her. On the other hand, Xiao Ke and her mother-in-law are in the opposite direction of many things, and the mother-in-law serves her as a confinement, and the contradictions between the two will inevitably intensify.
I gave Xiao Ke an analysis of her specific situation:
1, whether to go to the confinement center, economic factors must be considered, if the economic conditions allow, go to the confinement center mother and children can get better and more professional care, while the elderly at home will not be too tired.
2, whether the mother-in-law to take care of the confinement, to see whether the physical strength and energy of the elderly are allowed, but also to see whether the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious.
Obviously, the concepts and living habits between Xiao Ke and her mother-in-law are too different. If you let the mother-in-law take care of the confinement, the mother-in-law is very tired, the small can be weaker in the confinement, and the small can also take care of the baby, it can be said that the body and mind are exhausted, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be too good, you can imagine what kind of situation will occur between the two people.
Especially for Xiao Ke, confinement is the most difficult time for women, and the problems that can be solved with money should try not to complicate things.
Although 38,000 yuan is not a small amount for Xiao Ke, but it is still within the scope of her bearing, women spend some money in difficult times such as giving birth to children and confinement, it can be said that the money is used on the blade, I think it is worth it.
Obviously, I think xiaoke can't save this money.
Of course, if Xiao Ke and the mother-in-law concept are consistent, the relationship is harmonious, the old man's physical strength and energy are allowed, let the mother-in-law wait for the confinement is no better, even if the mother-in-law is compensated for the money afterwards, it will be better to go to the confinement center, but Xiao Ke's original situation is obviously not the case.
Xiao Ke still insisted on booking the confinement center, although the mother-in-law still complained that Xiao Ke spent money indiscriminately, but after all, the money was earned by Xiao Ke and her husband, and the mother-in-law could not be the master of Xiao Ke.
After 42 days of recuperation in the confinement center, the mother and the child have been well taken care of, Xiao Ke's confinement meal has eaten well, and Xiao Ke's mother and mother-in-law have also saved a lot of trouble, and overall Xiao Ke is still comfortable.
Xiao Ke has been taking care of her mother-in-law after returning home, just a week, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is irreconcilable, in fact, there is no big deal, that is, there is a conflict in the concept of parenting, all for the good of the child, but the practice is very different.
Xiao Ke is a new era woman, advocating scientific parenting, reading a lot of parenting books and online parenting articles, the concept is relatively new.
And Xiao Ke's mother-in-law has raised two children by her own hands, completely relying on the old experience of decades ago to raise children, and firmly believe that she has experience, she is right, and she cannot listen to Xiao Ke's opinion.
So Xiao Ke and her husband decided to let Xiao Ke's mother-in-law go back to her home to rest first, and let Xiao Ke's mother come to take care of Xiao Ke and the child, although Xiao Ke's mother and Xiao Ke will also have various differences, but after all, it is mother and daughter, and it is more convenient to communicate.
I told Xiao Ke that after giving birth to the baby, the family is busy, the maternal body is not fully recovered, the temper is generally not very good, this stage is easy to make the contradiction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law intensify, so we must pay attention to handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and so on, this "chicken flying dog jump" busy stage has passed, the child has grown up, the maternal body and spirit have also been restored, and everything will slowly get better.
The reason why I wrote out the little things is to make a reference for the sisters who are about to become mothers, is confinement going to the confinement center, inviting the sister-in-law to come home or letting the mother-in-law or the mother serve the confinement? You must have a number in mind, think about many aspects, and strive to make the confinement sit happily and comfortably, so that it is good for yourself and your baby and family.
Or like me, if my husband is free of time, it is okay to let my husband serve himself as a confinement.
When I confinement, I feel like a superman, my husband is responsible for cooking, and the children are almost all in charge of myself, so the advantage of confinement is that I have the final say, there are not so many trivial chores, the mood will be more comfortable, but it is a little tired for the mother.
In short, how to confinement because of each person's family situation, the choice will be different. But I think that if money allows, it is important to make the mother feel good, rest well, eat well, sleep well, and of course, the baby must also be carefully cared for.
What are your good thoughts and suggestions for confinement for postpartum mothers? Welcome to discuss in the comments section.