I saw a news message: In the early morning of one day, a tragic scene occurred somewhere, a young mother holding a baby less than ten months old, fell from a tall building and died.
Some owners of the community said that they heard that this mother was depressed after childbirth, and it may be that she had an argument with her family, and she was emotionally excited, and she couldn't think of it for a while before this tragedy occurred.
The specific cause of the incident is still under investigation by the police.
Now there is an endless stream of news about postpartum depression leading to mother suicide and even hurting children, which is a deep pain for many families, and it is a problem worthy of our deep consideration.
What does it feel like to be a mom? Maybe you only know it if you've experienced it yourself.
A friend said that before giving birth, she imagined being a mother: the child was well-behaved, the husband was considerate, the family of three talked and laughed, read books, played games, and visited the park.
But it wasn't until after the birth of the child that she gradually realized that she no longer belonged to herself, and that she was the mother of a child!
Indeed, when a woman is about to become a mother, she needs to complete multiple role transformations.
For example, from a working woman to a housewife, from a daughter to a mother, from a focus on her husband to a focus on her children.
Many expectant mothers have had this experience, and the closer they get to their due date, the more uncontrollably they want to prepare all kinds of things, buy all kinds of baby products that may be needed, decorate their children's rooms, cribs, and so on.
Many times, the husband may not understand, why should so many tricks come out, buy so many unnecessary things, stand up on a stomach and decorate the room?
This is because the expectant mother is preparing herself to become a mother, not only for the needs of reality, but also for the new identity of "mother" that she will be adapting to.
Especially for new mothers, this process is often accompanied by self-doubt.
They worry that they won't be a good mother and doubt whether they can play the role.
On the one hand, they will dream about how to take care of the baby, where to take the child to play in the future, and teach the child all kinds of knowledge; on the other hand, they will worry about what if there is not enough milk? Is the child's physical development good? Even family relationships, career development, and so on are considered.
During the confinement period, the new mother's body has not yet recovered.
Newborn children will continue to transmit physical and psychological needs to their mothers, and mothers will instinctively want to satisfy their children.
Breastfeeding, crying at night, changing diapers... It often exhausts mom.
Many times, moms feel like their world is being swallowed up, or even herself.
Children do not sleep, they want to sleep and can not sleep, sleep for a long time and are woken up, to the elderly or nanny to carry and not at ease, and even feel that they are not responsible.
The mother hopes that the child can fall asleep quickly, so that she can get a little rest, and when the child does not sleep anyway, the mother will be anxious to anger.
The anxious question is: Why can't I take care of my children to sleep, and can't I do this role myself?
The angry thing is: I have worked so hard to coax the baby to sleep, why doesn't he rest? Then I can't rest well either.
I saw a news: a nine-month-old toddler, who wanted to drink milk after waking up, woke up his mother who was still asleep, and was thrown out of bed by his depressed mother.
A netizen left a message in the background that when taking a child is too tired, sometimes a thought suddenly arises, eager to kill the child, and then commit suicide.
But once this idea came up, I couldn't help but curse myself.
Many mothers will have strong guilt and self-aggression because they have flashed these thoughts, feel that they are not good mothers, feel that they are useless, coupled with the imagination of the perfect life that their mothers envisioned before is broken, in the long run, anxiety, anger, and attacks continue to point at themselves, and it is easy to produce depressed emotions.
Why are so many moms depressed after childbirth?
Postpartum depression is often a feeling of guilt for the child, but the emotions cannot be channeled, and may even have to bear the harsh responsibilities of the family.
Many people only know that postpartum depressed mothers are emotionally sensitive and unstable, but they do not know that they are instinctively working hard to become a qualified mother, silently bearing.
What to do when a new mother feels anxious?
First, let go of your imagination of caring for your child when you were pregnant, and let go of your own requirements for yourself.
Only in this way can you see the real child and see your true state.
Second, adjust your cognition and reduce your harsh responsibilities for yourself.
There is a lot of publicity about the benefits of breastfeeding, but some mums are physically or otherwise unable to breastfeed because they don't have enough milk.
It's not your mother's fault, and it doesn't mean you're not a good mom.
Third, adjust your state.
It is good that the child can sleep peacefully, but sometimes it is impossible to take care of the child to fall asleep, which just shows that he needs to rest well to adjust his state.
Many times, the mother can rely on her intuition to judge whether the child is crying because she is hungry or has a bowel movement.
Children can also easily feel the mother's emotional state, when the mother's emotional state is good, the child will be easier to fall asleep, will sleep more deeply.
When the mother's emotional state is not good, how to coax the child, the child is crying.
Fourth, seek the support of your family and give yourself time and space to relax.
When you feel that your world is about to be occupied by children, you may wish to set aside some time and space for yourself every day.
For example, there is a fixed relaxation time every day, which does not need to be too long, but can be free to do what you like.
Mom is a great title; Mom is also an endorsement of happiness and hard work.
It is not easy to be a mother for the first time, and the emotions of new mothers need to be seen.
Bless all new mothers who can be treated with tenderness.