1. On New Year's Day, I read the newspaper at home. I heard that my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled over their homework. It wasn't long before my daughter-in-law threw her daughter out of the door, and she shouted at the door, "Open the door."

1. On New Year's Day, I read the newspaper at home. I heard that my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled over their homework. Soon after, my daughter-in-law threw her daughter out of the door, and her daughter shouted at the door: "Open the door and deliver a box lunch." Daughter-in-law: "No." Girl: "Send a courier." Wife: "I didn't buy it." Girl: "Pay the electricity bill, check the water meter." Wife: "I've all handed them over." Girlfriend: "Xiao Li, open the door, I am your brother Wang." "I'm laughing next to you, these two girls, you can really play."

2, the husband loves to play mahjong, there is a daughter of the primary school in the sky said to him: Old wet said that playing mahjong will be gambling, will be arrested by the police. Husband: I'm afraid of what, in case I'm sentenced, you can bring food to my father. The daughter said sympathetically: What if the death sentence is imposed... Laugh me to death.

3, the husband's friend came to stay at home for a few days, when he went back, he took out a hundred and said to his daughter: "Uncle this hundred for you to buy snacks to eat, you have to put it away, if you accidentally lose it, you can give it away in vain." The daughter took the money and said happily: "No, the fool will give it away in vain." My husband's friend was stunned and said, "Or you can give me back the money!" ”

4. My son, who is in elementary school, called a female classmate to come to the house to play. The girl asked, "What happens if you hit 5 million?" The son said, "I will ask my father to give me another 200,000 yuan, enough for 5.2 million to give to you." My wife said to me, "I didn't think bragging would be inherited." ”

5, when I was a child, I thought that the flashlight at home could emit light and illuminate, which was quite magical. I took the flashlight apart and found something even more amazing, the battery inside was actually wrapped in money! I ran to tell my mom. From then on, as long as I made a mistake, no matter how big or small, my father, who had a good temper, caught me, it was a beating. Later, when I grew up and had a girlfriend, I realized that my father really didn't lose money beating me.

6. In high school, all grades went to engage in comprehensive practice, and all of them lived in school. One day, the school leader gave a lecture on the issue of discipline: "Once a boy is found to be in the girls' dormitory, the school will deal with it severely." Someone asked, "What about girls?" The leader said very cheerfully: "Girls, if girls are found to have entered the boys' dormitories, the consequences will be at their own risk." ”

7. Returning to your hometown in the summer, and eating scallion dipping sauce? My grandmother said humorously: This is like life, life is rushed! I said: Ginger for the pot, life is going to be it? My grandmother: Yes, you can't just count it as (garlic). I said: I'm still young and have punch (onion) moving, can't put (ginger) on ... My grandmother looked at me carefully and said, "Nine, I see that you are still counted as (garlic)!"

If the post-80s boys cannot afford to buy a house, the post-80s girls can marry a 40-year-old man. After the 80s men have money, they marry a 20-year-old girl at the age of 40. Finally 40 years old, find a 20 year old girlfriend. Go to her house, open the door is the new love girlfriend... The little girlfriend shouted Mom. Her mother saw the boy and pulled her daughter into the house and said: You can't be together, he is your father! Daughter: I have his flesh and bones... The girl's 60-year-old father saw her boyfriend and whispered: Son, why are you here?

9. I have a double master's degree and my mind is meticulous. Not long ago, he went to the world's top 500 companies for an interview, the competition was extremely fierce, and the result was eliminated. Before leaving after the interview, I picked up the scraps of paper on the floor. This scene happened to be seen by the CEO. The next day, I got my acceptance letter and became a regular cleaner for the company, earning nearly $2,500 a month! Tax! So experience tells me: fine! section! decide! decide! Yes! fail!

10. When I cut my hair this morning, the barber asked me if my bangs were to the left or to the right? Then I said which side it looks better to go... Then the barber cut my bangs to pieces...

11, "Dad, give some money to spend." "Give, that's ten thousand." "Dad, you're so nice, give so much at once." "This money is for you to buy your girlfriend a wedding dress and start a family quickly, I want my grandchildren." "But Dad, I don't have a girlfriend yet!" Then you buy a robe and leave the house immediately, I don't want your son anymore. "Dad, I suddenly have an affair, put this money here first, goodbye."

12, my college roommate, the girlfriend who has been talking for 3 years is going to break up with him. The woman said: I found a boyfriend from the sports department again, we have been dating for 3 years, you have to give me 2,000 yuan of youth loss fee. The roommate was afraid of her sports boyfriend, so she thought of a way to get angry. On the day the money was given, the roommate's ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend were there. My roommate took all the people in our dorm room and gave his ex-girlfriend 400 yuan each. As a result, the boyfriend of the sports department broke up with her on the spot...

13. At present, the market's acceptance of blockchain is getting higher and higher, major enterprises are promoting the development and application of blockchain, and the pro-son of the blockchain, Bitcoin, will naturally be slowly known and trusted by the market. Then the rise in the price of the coin is also a matter of course. Coupled with the fact that the central bank just released the definition and implementation path of the blockchain some time ago, the blockchain and related industries will only become more and more formalized in the future, and the blockchain outlet will not be too far away, you know what I mean ~ Personally, I think that if there is idle funds in hand that can be held for a long time, there is no harm.

14, I went to the supermarket with my colleague, he told me: When you eat lemon to taste sweet, your love comes. I have been single for a long time and said with great interest: I bought all the lemons in the market, and I will definitely find something. He sneered: Even if you buy all the lemons in the country, you won't be able to taste the sweetness. I have no regrets about love: then I will go to another country to buy it. He looked at my bumpy and miserable appearance and advised me: Or you should go to Korea and try it.

15, a high school male classmate secretly in love with a female classmate in the next class, no coincidence is not a book, the two are in the same examination room and front and back seats. During the examination, male students pass on answers to female students through various means to compete for the same school. After the report card came out, the two really re-enrolled in the same school!