1, at twelve o'clock in the evening, I was about to fall asleep, the female neighbor called and said: "Old Li, my old king is not at home, you are close to my house..." Her house lights are not on, ask me if I will

1, at twelve o'clock in the evening, I was about to fall asleep, the female neighbor called and said: "Old Li, my old king is not at home, you are close to my house..." Her house lights are not on, asking me if I will change the light bulb. So I ran to her house with the light bulb. Me: "Isn't there a light?" She: "Bedroom's" so I came to the bedroom and I turned on the switch. I: "There is a light, then I went back to sleep" She blushed a little and said, "Oh, actually, it's my sewer blocked, I want you to help me get through" I suddenly realized: "Hey, go to the toilet first go to my house, tomorrow I'll help you get through." ......??

2, my wife and I got married not long after receiving the license, just in time for the Mid-Autumn Festival, more happy to drink a lot of wine, drinking big is easy to talk. My wife asked: Before you met me, did you have a girlfriend? I said: Sometimes there is, sometimes there is not. The wife asked: Is it beautiful? I said: Some are beautiful, some are not beautiful. Later, that night there was no moon appreciation, sometimes there was a noise at home, sometimes not, the moon is not round I don't know, anyway, my face is round a lot, and there are some bruises!

3, riding an electric car was stopped by a flight attendant, she wants to ride me! There was a lot of traffic on the road, and I pressed the brakes several times, each time her head hit me on the back, and then apologized to me. It's not easy for everyone, and I smile at you! The flight attendant got out of the car and said to me, "Handsome man! You have a good temper and do you have a girlfriend? "I was stunned! Happy in my heart, is it difficult for the flight attendant to look at me? Just as she was about to speak, the flight attendant continued: "I work part-time at xx marriage agency, if you need to leave a contact information!" ”

4, Grandpa was really bored at home, I bought a dozen arowanas for Grandma to raise to relieve boredom. After raising it for about three months, he was raised to death by his grandfather, and there was not a single one left. For this reason, the second elder was very sad, so I drove home to comfort the second elder. This old lady has been nagging that it has just been raised to a size that can be steamed, and this death is fishy, and can only be braised.....

5, I am a cook, just got married when I went to my mother-in-law's house. Every time the mother-in-law cooked how delicious it was, she cooked and let me go to the living room to watch TV. I always say I'll cook, just once at a time. My mother-in-law didn't let me do it, and I didn't do it, and I obeyed more and went more often. Or which link has a problem, and then go back, I just say I'll cook. She would say, "Great, try your craft, and I'll be her chef from now on!" Which link is the problem?

6, after arguing with the wife, after a while, the mother-in-law called: "Don't be angry, let her come back to me, I will educate her for you, let her answer the phone." As if I had received the Holy Will, I casually opened the hands-free and handed it to her to prepare to watch the play, and then I heard my mother-in-law's voice count down her: "You are stupid, there is something noisy, immediately pack up your things and come back to live for ten days and eight days, remember to take his wallet with you." ”

7. The girl confesses like a boy who has been in love for a long time! The boy said: I have a girlfriend. After saying that, take the phone and show the girl the phone. The girl looked at her face reflected in the dark mobile phone screen, leaving tears of happiness! The boy took a look at his phone and said, "I'm sorry!" Forgot to power on! "

8, the local tycoon is an illiterate, yesterday and a few friends went to KTV to sing, chat about the harm of genetically modified food. Before the gossip about the local tycoons were speechless, heard about the topic of genetically modified organisms, and had a god in their eyes. The local tycoon said: "This GMO is too harmful, my child is the victim, my daughter-in-law and I are all A blood, the child is B!" As soon as the words stopped, everyone was shocked and looked at each other for a long time, when one of the friends asked, "How do you know?" The local tycoon calmly said, "My daughter-in-law understands, she told me!" ”

9, when traveling to meet a woman, she is very beautiful, the key she is still quite rich, buy things to completely do not care about the price, a small pendant 80,000 yuan, she did not blink her eyes, directly swiped the card to buy. I can only sigh with envy, this is really the world of rich people, I really don't understand it!

10. I have a good relationship with a female colleague in the company and often make trouble. During the lunch break today, we got into a fight again, and I lost my hand for a moment and sprayed perfume into the eyes of my female colleagues. The female colleague cried at that time, and I said to a special man: "Don't be afraid, I will raise you for a lifetime!" "To my surprise, my girlfriend happened to come to me and heard the words at the door. At that time, I had a clever move, and directly pulled the female colleague to my girlfriend and said, "Come, call Mom!" ”

11. Wandering around the park, I saw a young woman's dog bite the leg of an uncle. The woman took out 30 yuan from her small bag and proudly said to the uncle: My dog has been vaccinated. Your injuries are not serious, this money you buy some food! The uncle said calmly: Oh? No need for needles? Then you let my dog take a bite, and my family has been vaccinated! The uncle beckoned, and a husky rushed over. The woman's face changed suddenly.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #