Last night, I had a dream that I had become a cowherd, but when I turned around, the cow could not be found, but I heard the cows barking nearby, and I thought, it doesn't matter if the cows should be not far away. thereupon

Last night, I had a dream that I had become a cowherd, but when I turned around, the cow could not be found, but I heard the cows barking nearby, and I thought, it doesn't matter if the cows should be not far away. So, I threw it with a whip, suddenly there was no sound, after a while the sound came again, I threw it again, the voice disappeared again, so repeated five or six times, and finally the husband next to me said, "Please, don't fight, I don't snore anymore?"

2, buddies work in Yunda Express, and recently the salary of the manager has risen to 80,000 yuan. Invited me to the barbecue stall in the evening to drink on the skewers, and a little brother at the next table was drunk and blind. He said in non-standard Mandarin: Foreigners are local, all pigs! Before he could finish speaking, a big man at the next table stood up and slapped his mouth. The little brother narrowed his eyes and continued: There are more renters!

3, the boyfriend plans to take the fourth level, and recently he has been memorizing words every day. When I came home from work in the evening, I didn't bother him by the hard work he was carrying in the room. A person sitting on the balcony playing with his mobile phone, a moment later the boyfriend came over. He tied a rope to the other end of my hair and tied it to a drying rack. I laughed: If I'm sleepy, I'll go to bed, I don't have to tie these useless! Boyfriend: It won't be useless! You stab at the beam and scream in pain when you doze off, so that I will be woken up and can continue to memorize words!

4, niece came to live in my house for a day, at night she asked my daughter-in-law: Aunt, do you have an aunt towel? Daughter-in-law: In my bag... Yikes! I didn't get it back in the bag shop! Let your uncle go and get it. Niece: No, you can use toilet paper. Then she took a pack of paper from the bathroom and asked: "Is this the only thing in your house?"

5, the second goods roommate accidentally stepped on the nail, so went to the hospital to break the cold vaccine, as a result, the next day stepped on it, went to the hospital to ask the doctor: I still use the vaccine is not? The doctor said lightly: No, if you have the spare money, you should first look at your eyes.

6, the neighbor is beating the 6-year-old child, the child wow wow crying, the girlfriend really can't listen to it, knocked on the neighbor's door, handed a clothing pole to the neighbor: use this to hit, this hurts! The neighbor slammed the door: No! Then the crying went away.

7, a few days ago by train home, smoke a cigarette at the station entrance. At this time, a beautiful girl came to pick up boiling water! Seeing me standing next to me, my sister asked me if the water was open? With enthusiasm, he casually said: "Try it with your hand and you will know!" "As a result, the girl was burned and cried!"

8, two married women in chat A: just went to report for a cram school, and I no longer have to worry about my husband criticizing the food I made is not delicious. B: You really can, I can't teach you to cook? I still need to go to some cram school! A: I am applying for a taekwondo cram school!!

9, last night with the wife? Nthel: I have a V on Wikipedia, and I'm a celebrity, you have to give me some face! The wife is very dismissive: are you a celebrity? How many people know you? Do you speak usefully? Is it useful for you to borrow some money for the New Year? I thought to myself, I have several apprentices, borrowing some money is not a small meaning, immediately to one of the apprentices private chat: Master is economically tight, are you generous? Thirty seconds later, I came back: Master, the last time I borrowed five hundred for someone else, I didn't pay it back! I...... Wife, this does not blame me, he has been bitten by a snake, a little afraid!

10, the cousin looks quite bumpy, and today I worked late with a male colleague. On the way back, my cousin said embarrassedly: "You don't send me, you are not afraid of being unsafe?" The colleague laughed and said, "Don't worry! Now we men love to watch gems, you can't scare them! The cousin hurt her self-esteem, turned her head and left, and the colleague said quietly: "If I go to send you, I am afraid that I am not safe!" ”

In the middle of the night, I heard my mother standing on the balcony shouting at me: "Can you still come up?" I'll just say two words to you, you run downstairs and circle around the building, you're not cold! I shouted angrily, "Don't worry about it! The old mother calmly shouted, "I don't want to care about you!" But on such a cold day, your dad is wearing his shirt and has already followed you around twice..."

12, today received a phone call, a sweet voice of the girl called, "Xiansen, please ask the unsecured loan do you need?" We..." I was busy at the time, so I simply replied casually: "No, I am rich!" "Then I hung up the phone... After a while, I opened WeChat and saw a new application to add a friend: "I am the mushroom who just called you..." I...

13, this morning when I was sleeping soundly, my mother woke up, I asked her what was wrong, she said: "Wait I want to clean up." I quickly sat up and said, "Do you want me to help?" My mother said, "No, I'm afraid of disturbing you, let me tell you first." ”

14, the mobile phone has no money, send a message to the cousin: "Help me charge 10 yuan of phone bill, tomorrow to pay you back." "Accidentally press the mass mail! In the morning, 28 unread messages, one by one: 15 said "don't pay back", 4 said "remember the beginning of the school" and the rest said "full". Then, there was a sister paper that said, "It's 20, and I like you!" "Well, after earning 150 talk fees and attaching a sister paper, is this a beautiful mistake?"