1, with the girlfriend to take a bath, she had to let me take off first, I took off the shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said you are sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into a shower.

1, with the girlfriend to take a bath, she had to let me take off first, I took off the shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said you are sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

2, the loan in Tomson Yipin bought a house, the National Day to get married to plan to decorate it. Today, the downstairs neighbor Uncle came up to me: "Boy, can you tell me the specific time of your home renovation?" Me: "Okay, uncle, I'm really sorry for the impact on you." Uncle: "It's okay, I just want to practice erhu and give me a cover when your house is renovating, so that I won't be complained about by neighbors." ”?

3. The boyfriend lives in a remote mountain village and once went home to play with him during the holidays. After a whole night on the train, my legs were numb after getting off the train. His dad came to pick us up and asked, "How did you get limped?" Something happened. The boyfriend who usually likes to joke said: She was abducted by me, halfway disobedient, let me beat! Who knew that his father said: It is worthy of my son, like me back then! I listened to their conversation and truly regretted it...

4. At an intersection, a Bentley ran a red light and went backwards, and finally collided with a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley saw the situation, got out of the car with a cigarette, and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" "I threw up my hands and gave the other party 3,000 yuan." Just as the Owner of the Bentley was about to get into the car, the owner of the motorcycle suddenly stopped him. The owner of the Bentley car looked surprised: "Well, give you 3,000 more, don't hurry to leave, want to blackmail me!" The owner of the motorcycle shook his head and said coldly, "Boy, call your dad and say you hit an Ecosse ES1 Spirit motorcycle!" ”

5, after the cousin got married, he did not care that the family often played outside, the sister-in-law looked for girlfriends to help how to make the cousin change his mind, the girlfriend said: "Men are dead love face, you cry two trouble three hanged, he is annoyed naturally do not dare." The sister-in-law asked, "Is it really good, have you ever used it?" The girlfriend said, "Used." The sister-in-law whispered: "I don't know how to use it, this third trick, can you give me a demonstration?" ”

6, Gan Dad drove the Maybach to take me to buy LV's new bag, I did not expect to meet Gan Dad's first love. Daddy pulled hard, tightly wrapped me in his arms, and the first love asked: Is this your girlfriend? How big is it? Me: 38! The first love didn't say a word and gave my dad a slap and said: I misread you! Then the head went away without looking back.

7, in the evening my wife went to the mall to buy a plastic hammer back, put it in the living room, said to me, as long as I dare to provoke him to be angry, she will use a plastic bag to hit me, I smiled and did not pay attention to him, plastic bags can cause me what harm it, and then I was really angry with her, she took the plastic bag to fill the water, this I am not afraid, after all, the water is also soft. Then she put the plastic hammer filled with water in the refrigerator. The moment she closed the refrigerator door, I knelt directly on the ground and apologized, with a very sincere expression.

8. After graduating from college, I have not had time to find a partner, and I met my current wife by playing a game on the Internet. I took her for more than a month, and then she was particularly touched and added friends to chat for a long time. Later, when she felt that it was almost over, she asked me to go to her place for dinner. I didn't expect her to drink so badly, only half a bottle of beer was drunk, and then we both half pushed and half on the spot for one night. Now that we have only been married for more than a month, she can even drink a pound of white and can still play black games with me, I wonder, why does her alcohol consumption improve so fast!?

9, the sister-in-law's boyfriend is a scumbag, driving the BMW 7 series she bought. After the sister-in-law did not have a car, she could only take the bus to work. Today in the car, the sister-in-law was squeezed into the arms of a boy. At first, the sister-in-law was not very embarrassed, but after a long time, she slowly became a habit. The sister-in-law put her head close to the boy's arms and said, "This bus has been done for half a month, and every time it is squeezed into your arms, do you believe in fate?" The boy said calmly: "I don't believe in fate, I only know to rent a bus 500, more than 80 extras, 70 per person, so I only believe in money." ”

10, Zhu Shiwo's food intake is amazing, when he works in a company. After work one day, Zhu Shiwo and several other colleagues went to the buffet together. Zhu Shiwo quickly grabbed a whole giant lobster. It is also the only lobster on the entire restaurant table. After showing off for a round, he took it apart and ate it by himself, and finally felt that the meat was too dry. Later, The manager of Zhen came out and said that it was an ornament and had been letting it go for several years.

11. During this time, I did not pay attention to the body and was hospitalized, and I wanted to send a message to my wife, but I could not type. I dictated a text message to my wife to a kind nurse. Me: "... The nurses here are not pretty. The nurse protested: "Are you a little rude to say that?" I smiled and said, "But my wife would be very happy to say that." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #