1, the wife went abroad, the family left me and my mother-in-law two people, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my father-in-law

1, the wife went abroad, the family left me and my mother-in-law two people, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I worked out of the shadows, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

2. This morning my four-year-old daughter said she was very uncomfortable and didn't want to go to kindergarten. I asked her: Where is it uncomfortable? The daughter said weakly: "I have a headache." I heard it and smiled and said: How many heads do you have? My daughter pouted her little mouth and held out her fingers and said: Headache, forehead headache, nose headache, tongue pain, finger headache, and toes also hurt I can't cry and laugh!

3. At night, I was holding my mobile phone to fill in the graduation information for my roommate, and the class flower of our class suddenly sent a text message. Clicking on it, Ban Hua said: I want to see you, don't tell anyone, just you and me. I immediately replied: What do you think I am? My roommate likes you so much that you treat him like this! After saying that, I immediately deleted the chat history and returned the phone to the roommate on the upper bunk!?

4, when I was in high school, the lesbian table was a bully, chubby and versatile. Once, I had a fight with her for some reason. The female school bully was aggressive with sharp teeth, and the attitude of learning from the body and appearance of the family background to learn the grades was humiliating to me. I was dumbfounded and couldn't hold my mouth back to the thickness of my neck, and finally roared: "You're fat!" The female student shook her head and cried.

5. When the rich woman went on a tour, she saw a square battle in the temple. On this day, Fang Zhan called the rich woman: "Are you busy?" The rich woman replied excitedly: "Not busy, what's wrong?" Fang Zhan: "Can you send me 2,000 yuan, I have an urgent use." The rich woman immediately sent it over, and sent an extra 1,000, and then asked: "What's wrong, why do you want the red envelope?" After a long time, Fang Zhan said, "Buy a birthday present for my wife before leaving home." ”

6. My husband asked me, "Did you just have fun?" I bowed my head, "It's only been ten minutes, but it's addictive..." The husband said, "But addicted, you shout so loudly?" Me: "For the first time, I was nervous!" Husband, let's do it again, right? Husband: "Well, let's play a little longer this time." He said and pulled out his money and walked to the roller coaster ticket office

7. My niece Little Nell is three years old and takes her out to eat bullfrog pot at noon. When the pot came up, she asked, "Sister-in-law, what kind of meat is this?" I replied, "Bullfrog! Little Nell: "What is a bullfrog?" I had no choice but to tell her, "This is a frog!" Who knew that this little girl said sullenly, "Let's eat the frog and the little tadpole won't find its mother and will starve to death!" Seeing that he was about to cry, the waiter next to him came to say: "Little sister don't cry, you eat the frog father, the frog mother is at home with the little tadpole!" After listening to Xiaoni, she was immediately happy: "It's like Dad going out to work every day to earn money, oh, it's so fragrant!" ”

8. In order to live a superior life, the brother-in-law abandoned his sister and moved to the villa of an old rich woman with his nephew. The grandfather and grandfather lived a life of fine clothes and food, and the environment was superior. This winter, my nephew drove the Maybach with his brother-in-law out of the house, and on the road he saw a beggar standing shivering in the cold wind. He felt very strange and asked, "Dad, why is this person moving all the time?" The brother-in-law said, "Son, this is because it is cold and shivering." The nephew said even more strangely, "Isn't it cold to shiver?" ”

9. Yesterday, the next door neighbor's big brother said that he wanted to send some fresh tea that their old family had grown. I boiled the water at home and waited for the neighbor to send the tea back, most of the day passed, the neighbor did not send, the water boiled, also did not see to take, there was no way but to keep adding cold water to the pot. After half a day, the water in the pot was full, and the tea leaves were not delivered in the end, and my wife said to me: "Tea is not drinkable, it is better to use this water to take a bath." ”

10, the company downstairs opened a new ramen restaurant, the hostess is still a 25-year-old beauty. So I planned to solve three meals a day there, and I asked the hostess: How much is a bowl of noodles? Hostess: 20 yuan a bowl. Me: Give me 2 bowls! After a while, I finished eating and said: Checkout! Handed over a 50 yuan ticket to the hostess, the hostess: not enough! Me: Isn't it $20 a bowl? Hostess: Isn't my beauty worth 100 yuan?

11, the brother told the nephew not to watch TV, hurry to write homework, said several times, the nephew just ignored. Sister-in-law: Didn't you hear that? Hurry up and go. The nephew listened to his sister-in-law and left the TV to write his homework. Brother: Your mother's words you write homework, my words, do not have your mother has weight? Nephew: Of course. Brother: Why do your mother's words have weight? Nephew: Mom one hundred and eight, you are only one hundred and two, who do you say has weight?

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