"If others have it, I will have it too" is the voice of a five-year-old. It seems to be just a simple sentence, and it is easy to be satisfied by parents, but there is a child's comparison psychology hidden in it, and parents must pay attention to it.
With the increase of age and cognition, the child's psychology will change significantly, the most common of which is habitual contrast. Seeing that a companion has beautiful clothes and shoes, he will pester his parents to buy them; new toys, imported snacks, and all kinds of things that can't be named...
Even in order to get these things, the child will become a "drama master", performing various performances against the parents. It may be that the standard of living is good, and most parents will meet the requirements of their children, especially one-child families, who do not want their children to always envy others.
As everyone knows, the kindness of parents has become the source of "aiding and abetting abuse". The more satisfied the child, the more serious the inner comparison, because desire is like an uneven chasm, which never ends. If it is a reasonable request, the parents can naturally meet it; but if it is an unreasonable demand, the parents must learn to refuse.
Speaking of which, many parents should ask: What are reasonable requirements? Simple understanding: it is the just need for life and study, such as the clothes to be worn every day, stationery and books to be used for study, and so on. But these items, there is no need to be too expensive, practical is good.
In the future growth, the comparison heart will make the child more materialistic, always want to get more material enjoyment. Moreover, it is also easy to affect the personality of children, and when their wishes are not satisfied, they will lose their temper. It can even make children become less confident and always feel inferior.
The focus at the moment should be to consider where the child's comparison psychology comes from.
To be precise, the reason why children have a sense of comparison is directly related to the daily education of parents. Usually too doting, for them to respond to their needs, will make the child more arrogant, want to get more material. Then there is the fact that children are often not in line with the material conditions of the family, and it is clear that the family conditions are not very good, but they consume high.
These are the reasons why children compare. It is understandable that parents love their children, but they do not agree with the adults' approach. Because from an early age, parents have not established correct values and consumption concepts for their children, so that they have a wrong perception of consumption.
Since we know that the comparison of hearts has a great impact on children, parents must dispel their wrong psychology and reshape correct concepts as soon as possible. In this process, parents should really set a good example, give their children more confidence, and help them get out of the misunderstanding of comparison.
Smart parents adjust their children's mentality in this way
First of all, we must enrich the spiritual world of children. When he finds something he likes, he will not be tempted by the small interests in front of him, and naturally he will no longer pay attention to comparison. Quite simply, take him on a trip and see the outside world. If time and conditions do not allow, then develop the habit of loving to read books, and you can also browse different beautiful scenery in books.
Second, don't deny and criticize your child's ideas. Although their comparison psychology is not good, but it is normal to have such a thought, parents should not rush to deny, let alone criticize. The best thing to do is to ask your child carefully what he thinks and see if he really likes something or if it's because someone else has it.
Finally, learn to refuse your child's request. Start with delayed gratification, do not immediately agree and meet their requirements, it is easy to promote the child's comparison psychology, but to try to refuse. Only in this way can children know that not all wishes can be fulfilled, and rejection is the norm in the world.
One thing parents need to understand: comparing, like everything else, is a double-edged sword, it has a bad side, and naturally there is a good side. Vicious comparison may make children become inferior and arrogant; but benign comparison can promote children's progress.
At this time, it depends on how parents educate and guide. As long as it is really good for their children, parents must learn to lead by example and start with themselves. In life, don't treat your child as an object of comparison, whether it is grades or other aspects.
Tips for parents:
In life, it is necessary to communicate more with children and understand their psychological dynamics in time. Even if it is a moment, the child has developed a bad habit, or an idea, which can be understood in time in communication and help them correct it early. When it comes to communication, parents should put themselves in a flat posture and be in the same position as their children.
Create a benign living environment for children, there is no so-called contrast, everything is a positive and upward living atmosphere. In family life, children feel happiness and happiness the most, and naturally have no time to pay attention to other people. So don't complain to your child, all negative emotions should be put away.
At any time, don't forget the word "respect", which is the best secret to get along with parents and children.