▲Pay attention to me, and live calmly and freely together
In the recently aired "Female Psychologist" drama, there is such a case, 30-year-old Jiang Jing likes to overeat, and then vomit uncontrollably.
She couldn't control eating, and she couldn't control vomiting.
This sounds contradictory, but this contradiction is always visible in her,
When I wake up in the morning and have dinner with my mother, this is the following:
As soon as I went out, I immediately broke the ponytail on my head, took off the dress my mother bought, and mingled with my friends who dressed up equally freely.
Mom opened her door, and she sat quietly, but under the bed was like a dump, with bottles and cigarette butts hidden...
Back in her childhood, her mother was a perfectionist, and after her father was gone, her mother lived like a warrior. The strong mother has high requirements for her, high hopes, and has paid a lot of effort in order to let her have a good future in the future. For her daughter's life, I am more in control of how long my hair is.
She is a kind and sensible good child, dependent on her mother for her life, and she loves her mother very much in her heart. Because she loves her mother too much, she has to hide her true thoughts and appeals in her heart to meet her mother's expectations.
He likes to play drums, but he has to listen to his mother's piano practice, and he likes freedom but is bound day and night.
Her illness is called bulimia nervosa. Although in the TV series, she seems to be easily cured, but in reality, this mental illness is much more difficult.
Under the huge mental pressure, left and right, let the child's heart into tearing is not only her, this TV series, but also another child, because the mother is too strict, parents quarrel, and there is a psychological conflict, suddenly slapped himself in the middle of the night.
The following news, 9-year-old girl Xiao Han, her mother suddenly found that in the middle of the child's head, there was a piece of scalp without hair. At first, I thought it was alopecia areata, but I found a lot of ways, hair growth agent, apply ginger, not only is not good, but also more and more bald.
Finally, when I went to the hospital, in fact, there were not many hair pulling diseases in adolescents, so when pressed, the child admitted that his hair was pulled out by himself. Why do children do this?
These children generally have a very strict family atmosphere, parents are strong, do not allow children to express their true thoughts,
Or the parents keep arguing, and the child's emotions are ignored,
In fact, children are very kind, they are in a huge conflict, the heart of the pressure, left and right.
Between their own ideas and their parents' expectations, between their parents' conflicts, between obedience and rebellion.
In the end, I had to embarrass myself and attack my own body.
These problems are all children's signals for help, but all kinds of accumulated negative emotions are presented in some way, but parents often regard them as problems and want to eliminate them. Just like a child has a fever, the parents' attitude is: How can you have a fever? No, you can't have a fever!
Learning parenting will always talk about empathy, but many parents use it as a means, a means of controlling their children, thinking, "I am all empathetic, you still kick your nose in the face?!" Don't know convergence?! ”
In fact, the child has real emotions in front of you, how precious, if the child in front of you, just listen to your words, understand your things, you empathize, the child understands your purpose, that is really sad, the child's emotions will always be blocked in the body. You've lost countless opportunities to help your child.
Recently, I took several cases of adolescence, and my parents always told me, how can this be, we are really good to him, very concerned, but the child only has one sentence: you don't love me at all. How I understand the hearts of parents, how can I not love children, but many parents love their children, so that children feel discouraged and even desperate for life.
Only with healthy emotions can there be a healthy psychology and can things be done well!
I wrote today's article, probably most families, will not be so serious, and then look at the following data, 4 children, 1 is depressed, do you still feel less?
Yesterday, after receiving a teenager visitor on the way home, I talked to Old Pan about mini's studies, her grades are not top-notch, but as a second-grade child, I bought her an extracurricular exercise book (three copies), and she was able to complete most of it on her own initiative. Write it yourself, check the answers yourself, and revise it yourself. My biggest goal in learning for children is to develop self-discipline, not to overdraft the enthusiasm for learning, and there is still room for the sprint. But this is definitely not a goal that can be achieved in a day, a month, or a year.
Old Pan said a sentence that surprised me: "If we were in elementary school, suddenly, I said that we suddenly accepted the intensity of their learning, and it is estimated that we may not be able to withstand it!" "I thought about it, and it really is.
How to make children emotionally healthy, is a very large topic, a child in childhood, especially pay attention to the parents' expressions, demeanor and thoughts, they will easily take the parents' ideas as the standard, but they are after all a living life, with their own independent personality and thoughts.
Therefore, in childhood, "left and right" is an important factor in making emotions knotted, as parents try not to let their children live in such a situation.
Here are some common scenarios that leave children in a dilemma, hoping to bring some inspiration to everyone:
Grow up
It's a true story.
My son has been taking psychotropic drugs for many years
Mother Cow's heart
I want my children to live in love and freedom.
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