1, the girlfriend's home suddenly black power outage, take advantage of the black kiss her, the result of the mother-in-law whispered... Don't make a fuss... I was stunned, I was obviously kissing my girlfriend, and when I was leaving, I asked my girlfriend: I

1, the girlfriend's home suddenly black power outage, take advantage of the black kiss her, the result of the mother-in-law whispered... Don't make a fuss... I was stunned at once, I obviously kissed my girlfriend, and when I left, I asked my girlfriend: Did I kiss you just now? The girlfriend said: Yes, what's wrong? I hurriedly said: It's all right...

2, today's class, my goddess sat behind me, when the class, the goddess did not bring a book, the teacher said that the person who did not bring a book stood up, I gave the book to the goddess I stood up, the teacher said: "Stand up and be so good, go out and do 500 frog jumps." After about 5 minutes the goddess also came out, and I said, "Why did you come out?" The goddess said, "In math class, what are you doing with this English book?" ”

3 The abbot is still vulgar, go directly to the blind date, the woman asked: Do you have a room? Abbot: I don't, but my son has a dozen villas. F: Do you have a car? Abbot: I don't, but my son's car can fill half the parking lot. Woman: So what do you do and what is your monthly income? Abbot: Hey, I don't have any job, I just get up early and count the pocket money my son gives me. Woman: So what do you want from me? Abbot: I am a relatively simple person, that is, you can give birth to such a son for me.

4 Last night, I went home drunk and went to sleep upside down, and after a while I was woken up by my wife's slap, and she held a Durex and yelled at me: "I took it out of your coat, how to explain!" I almost peed when I glanced at my coat: "Wronged! This is Brother Wang's coat, I went too fast to wear the wrong! She instantly cried into tears: "You deceive! He never used this brand! ”

5 Today a Bentley went backwards and hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" Then he threw up his hands and gave the other party 2,000 yuan. Just as the Owner of the Bentley was about to get into the car, the owner of the motorcycle stopped him. The owner of the Bentley car looked surprised: "Well, give you 2,000 is not much, don't hurry to leave, want to blackmail me!" The motorcycle owner shook his head and said coldly, "Boy, hurry up and call your dad and say you hit an Ecosse?" ES1? Spirit motorcycle!

6 Some time ago, my father-in-law's family was demolished, and I was happy to give me 20 million. Today I went to the 4S store to buy a Rolls-Royce, gave a fraction to the 4S store, and the rest of the integer ready to swipe the card. Salesman: Sorry sir, our shop card machine is broken, can you trouble you ATM transfer! No way, I went, after the transfer of the account card, suddenly remembered that there is no transfer voucher, sales will not be bad? Witty I inserted the card and turned it again, this time did not forget to print the voucher.....

7 On this day, xiaohe, a classmate, called the class teacher for leave, and the class teacher did not answer the phone, and then made five or six more calls, and no one answered. Half an hour later, the homeroom teacher called back and asked who he was. Xiao He said a word, and the class teacher's phone hung up. Xiao He said: "I have called you so many times, you don't know who I am, and who is it?" ”

8 My cousin only had a college degree, but her brother was a phD student. Once, when it was almost Tanabata, my cousin asked my cousin, "When Tanabata comes, what gift are you going to give me?" ”

The cousin said, "Whatever gift you want, I'll buy it for you." ”

Cousin: "I saw a dress yesterday, it's a new one, just 120,000." ”

Cousin: "Recently, the company's profitability has not been very good, and I am relatively tight on hand." ”

Cousin: "I'm joking, but my brother is getting married next month, he plans to buy a suite, and he is still short of 3 million." ”

The cousin immediately said, "Send me the link to the skirt, I'll place an order now!" ”

9 On the weekend, after having dinner in a Western restaurant, I went shopping on the pedestrian street and found a big brother leading a child and pulling it on a stall. The child picked up the bullet gun and said, "Daddy, I want this." The eldest brother took the toy gun and said: Boss, can I try it? The boss gave the eldest brother a bullet, and the eldest brother immediately loaded it, aimed at the son's leg and fired a shot, and then asked: Does it hurt? The child immediately cried: Whine, it hurts, we don't buy it, this hurts, whine...

10 When my brother-in-law went to college, he always liked the school flowers, but the school flowers were lukewarm to him and did not want to take care of him.

That night, the brother-in-law was preparing to go to bed, and the school flower sent a message: Yes, send me 200 yuan, to use!

The brother-in-law immediately sent it over, and then smiled and asked: What's wrong, so late to use red envelopes?

After a long time, the school flower replied: Help the boyfriend charge the phone bill!  

11 Three Silences. Lonely men, helplessly smoking at home. At noon, the older man snuffed out his cigarette butt and said indignantly: Enough of such a day! Xiao Qiang and your brother-in-law went to buy wine, and I cooked at home! Maybe they will go shopping three times, and we men will not be allowed to relax for a day! Under the resistance of the three men, it is appropriate to drink a big wine tragically and recklessly! Then, silently with the strength of wine, he cleaned up the house... 

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