1, my parents arranged for me to go on a blind date, but I was afraid that I would not be able to speak when I saw the girl, so I asked my brother to accompany me. Just after ordering food at the restaurant, the girl came. Don't you say, this girl is long

1, my parents arranged for me to go on a blind date, but I was afraid that I would not be able to speak when I saw the girl, so I asked my brother to accompany me. Just after ordering food at the restaurant, the girl came. You don't have to say, this girl is really beautiful, the figure is good, it is simply the standard white rich beauty! I thought to myself that people had already come, let's say hello first, but before I could speak, my brother turned back to me and said, "Okay, you go back, it's none of your business!"

2. When a classmate mentioned the word "temperament" in class, the teacher asked "what does it mean to be temperamental". A kanji explains, "For example, teacher, you are so beautiful." I have to say, oh hey, teacher, you are so beautiful! That's pretense! The other woman couldn't stand it anymore, "That's called hypocrisy!" The teacher's face was full of black lines: "The students are honest people." "

3, Liu Guanzhang and the three of them went to Longzhong to invite Zhuge Liang, and found that Zhuge Liang was not at home. The second time I braved the snow to please, on the way to see two people making leather shoes, all three of them bought a pair, and finally Zhuge Liang was still not there. Liu Bei said angrily, "Go, and then find me a leather coat or shoes." The two were puzzled and asked in unison, "Big brother, do you want to make us a leather coat?" "Think beautifully!" This Zhuge is too arrogant, doesn't he say 'three stinky cobblers, top Zhuge Liang'! Didn't we find two? Liu Bei said angrily.

4, colleagues borrowed me 3,000 yuan some time ago, and I have not repaid it so far, which makes me feel very bad. Yesterday I hinted to him: Do you know where Zhuge Liang got the East Wind from? Colleagues said: Zhuge Liang can watch the sky at night, and the wind is a natural wind. It seems that the hint is useless, tonight I invited him to the KTV to sing, I ordered a hip-hop song to sing to him: Please take mine and send me back, eat mine and spit it out for me... My colleagues applauded me while singing well...

5, take the girl to play in the neighbor Qingqing's house, the child is just a competitive spirit of strong time, everything is higher than a high, Qingqing fell downwind, is not happy, see us, suddenly the eyes lit up: my mother is the most beautiful! The girlfriend looked up at me, then at the neighbor, and nodded in agreement: Yes! Your mom is the prettiest! Girl, the son can't be ugly!

6, the landlady has been in a good mood recently, laughing and giggling every day, and suddenly called me to the office today and said, "Brother, do you think I look good?" I was shocked and said, "Boss, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met." The landlady said: "Brother, today I was forced to marry my mother again, you can buy something at night and go home with me once, pretend that my boyfriend is okay, right?" "I didn't dare to say anything, I was thinking, if I went, her mother took a fancy to me and let me marry the female boss?

7, yesterday my wife provoked me to be angry, and then she talked to me, and I was very arrogant and said: Don't talk to me! Then she got angry, and the most important thing was that I had to coax her. I'm not even ready to forgive her, am I angry that this matter has been so hastily turned over? Hmm, I'm still angry!

8. When I was in junior high school that year, one day the principal got drunk and ran into our class to knock the teacher off the podium, saying that he would personally give us a lecture. It is about her young wife wearing a green hat for him, and he can't help but forgive again and again, all kinds of wits and courage, and finally the accurate catch is successful. That time, the whole class listened attentively, and several text messages received by skipping class also rushed back.

9, returning from a business trip, secretly going home to give my husband a surprise, opened the door but saw him and my girlfriend XiaoQi in a disheveled bed. Watching the two of them kneel on the ground in pain and beg me to forgive them, my heart was like a knife. Thinking about the bits and pieces we used to have together, my heart softened, and I finally forgave them, and each of them removed only one arm.

10, take the son to participate in the tour organized by the unit, after returning, the husband of the colleague drove to pick up the station, on me and my son no one to pick up, angry I sent a circle of friends to complain... After a while, a luxury car stopped in front of me, a middle-aged man opened the door, I was in the envy of my colleagues, got into the car, the son looked at me curiously, asked: "Mom, who is this person?" I hit my son and said, "Who else but your father can come and pick you up?"

11. Q: The first batch of post-90s is about to turn thirty, how much should they save? Tell us about your current situation in the 90s? A: In 1992, after several years of hard work, I had two villas in Guangzhou, a Bentley, a Seven Series, and a girlfriend in her 50s.

12, after graduation I went to work in a large company, the hostess was very good to me, and gave me a salary increase. Last month the hostess had a crocodile turtle in the office. As a result, in the morning, the crocodile turtle ran out by herself and was killed by a Wuling Hongguang, and the hostess was very sad! In the evening, I sat next to her with a colleague and accompanied her silently. With tears in her eyes, the hostess slowly shoved out a box of biscuits and pushed it in front of me and said: This box of biscuits was bought for the turtle, and now it is cheaper for you!

13. After returning to China after studying abroad, he was forced by his second uncle to go to work in his company. Recently, in order to negotiate a business, the mental pressure is relatively high, and I am often shaken, and I was hit by a Porsche when I turned a corner at a road junction. The driver is a rich second generation, he came down and looked at my Roewe and said: A broken car, pay you 1000 enough! I lit a cigar, smiled and said: Don't underestimate this Roewe, don't know the car, call and ask your dad how much is the 2014 Roewe 350 worth? Fu Er Dai was a little scared and quickly called his father. Two minutes later, he asked me to go back for 900 yuan.

14, one day with a friend on the street, met an open-top Ferrari, it was called a pull wind, I said: "So handsome!" My friend said: "According to my experience in car appreciation for so many years, I can see at a glance that this car is a second-hand Chery QQ lifting ceiling modification, obviously, because the number of tires is the same." "I was speechless all the way.