01
Confused and gave birth to a few babies
Many of us, growing up under the arrangement of our families, lived lives almost without thinking.
Follow the tradition, follow the father, follow the others, do the things that seem natural, grow up, go on a blind date, get married, have children, raise a baby...
In fact, you have also felt distressed:
Why does a person who lives comfortably have to get married?
Others say to you: The male eldest should be married, and the female eldest should be married.
Get married, get married, I don't know if I can be a good parent, why do I have to have a baby?
Others say to you: There are three filial pieties, and no queen is greater.
Give birth to a baby, give birth to one, think it is enough, but the policy is coming, encouraging two children and three children. Those who have been regulated by policy for many years rush up like scarce products that are sold at a discount. You think, with one is very big, why regenerate?
Others say to you: In the past, you were not allowed to give birth, but now the government will reward you after giving birth! No white, no white!
Under the kidnapping of tradition, under the pressure of public opinion, under the interrogation of morality... You unconsciously live as someone you don't know.
One day suddenly woke up, the home was a mess, full of children's dirty clothes, everywhere are baby toys, the walls are full of children's footprints and crayon drawings, and the parents who said they would help you with your children, some are sick, some have shaky hands, some are unclear, and they can only harden their scalps.
Bao Mom, who once shined brightly, now even has no time to look in the mirror, Qing Jing put on a mask is a luxury, often wearing clothes that have been peed, spit on milk, and rubbed saliva is too late to change... This state, not to mention the return to the workplace, even the return to society is a problem...
Bao Dad, he is still a baby! If you can't take care of yourself, who can take care of the baby? So the two quarreled, threw pots at each other, and both shirked that the other person wanted to be born, so that the other party could bear more. Fights, divorce is commonplace... But bitter innocent baby.
Next is the issue of education, the baby teaches well naturally, but if you teach a few guys who are not only not angry, but also cause trouble everywhere, hehe, waiting to clean up the mess for the baby.
When I was a child, the problem was not solved, and when I grew up, there were more problems. And press it without mentioning it, if you want to unfold it, you can't close the box.
02
The emergence of parent-child problems
Often in life, on the Internet, encounter all kinds of questions of parents, they are overwhelmed by their children's various growth problems, parent-child relationship problems.
What is disobedient, the parents call to the east, must go to the west; what stares at the TV all day long, completely indifferent to learning; what always thinks of rubbing the adult's mobile phone, and is accidentally taken by the baby to play games;
These are fairly light.
Serious is even more shocking.
What psychological problems, all kinds of addictions; what autism, depression, violence, suicide and self-destruction; and the extreme phenomena that have been seen frequently in recent years, what have gone to court for the sake of support, fathers and sons have reversed their purposes, what have killed relatives and mothers...
03
What's the problem?
The reason for this series of problems between parents and children must be investigated from the root.
Although adults should be fully responsible for their own life behavior, the vast majority of problems of minors are still inseparable from the parents.
Is your motive for giving birth to a baby pure? Is it for love or selfish purposes?
Because I am lonely, I have to have a baby to accompany me;
Because my ideal is too ambitious to achieve on my own, I want to have a baby to inherit my ambitions;
Because my career is too prosperous, I have to have a baby to inherit;
Because I have to deal with my family, society, and relatives, I want to have a baby;
Because I want someone to visit when I'm older, so I want to have a baby...
There is also a part of blind ignorance, born for life.
(Only love is the only valid reason to have a child)
Which of these reasons is for children?! How can the baby born in this situation not have a problem? The child is the mirror of the parent, completely and faithfully projecting everything about the parent.
Those who blindly blame the child for being bad, please honestly look at the mirror, there, all the stains you see, if you want to remove them from the child, please clean your own first!
Please don't treat your child as an object, as an appendage to you, as a toy, as an object that can be treated casually! Think carefully about these questions before having children.
What kind of child do you want to get? Know that children are largely constrained by your genes, your habits, your limitations.
Do you understand your own life problems? Who are you? Why did you come? What are you here for?
If you are a love-deprived person yourself, how can you expect your child to be full of love?!
If you live a confused life yourself, how can you raise a baby who is clear about everything?!
If you live without a goal, how can you expect your child to have a clear goal from an early age?!
If you don't know the meaning of life yourself, how can you expect your child to set lofty ideals?!
If you yourself are lazy and sluggish all the time, how can you expect your child to work hard?!
If you are selfish yourself, how can you expect your child to be considered by his parents in everything?!
If you are only committed to your own promises, how can you raise a fierce child?!
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Live soberly and clearly, understand the laws of psychology, have a grasp of education, and be born how you want. But if you are all confused, confused, and miserable, let go of yourself and let go of your children.
National policies must certainly respond, but they must not blindly follow the crowd. You know, your life is your own, your parent-child relationship needs to be personally faced, it is impossible to avoid it for a lifetime!
Face life rationally, please don't take having children as a casual thing, otherwise you will one day pay a heavy price for your actions! (To be continued)