Why do two people who love each other and enter into marriage end up living their lives in a chicken feather? The reason is actually very simple: "Marriage, the real test is not the degree of love between two people, but."

Why do two people who love each other and enter into marriage end up living their lives in a chicken feather?

The reason is actually quite simple:

"Marriage, the real test is not the degree of love between two people, but the ability to love each other." 」

When I was doing psychological counseling, I was very emotional about this problem.

Many married couples, after three or five years, ask me the following similar questions:

"Why was he so nice to me before, but couldn't go back after he got married?"

"He said he would take care of me for the rest of my life, so why don't you eat with me for dinner every day?"

"I told him a long time ago, why didn't he change -- change it?"

This is a common disease that many couples often encounter - the cajoling when falling in love is regarded as the daily routine of married life.

When we get married, we often give us the illusion that if we marry someone we love, then the happy life of the second half of our lives is simply close at hand.

And these people who treat marriage as once and for all are also the ones who are most likely to fall after marriage - because marriage is inherently dynamic, full of setbacks, and families will have problems of one kind or another.

Why do I say that falling in love is actually a very simple thing?

Falling in love is nothing more than "two people eat enough for the whole family", occasionally buy luxury goods, touch. It's normal to have a walk-and-go trip last holiday. To be with someone who is not bad in character and loves each other is simply to enjoy the benefits of youth.

And when it comes to marriage? Realistically, the two of them are about to go from the novice village to hell mode.

After getting married, you have to face many problems such as loan pressure, children's education, elderly support, etc. Two people have become the pillars of the whole big family, before you could count on your parents, but now all the pressure is counting on two people to solve.

Want to buy a bag with some spare money? Forget it, if the loan is not repaid, it will affect the credit score!

Want to take a trip that you can go on? Dream, the weekend leader does not let himself work overtime, even if it is a high incense!

It's not that your marriage has become a chicken feather, but the people after marriage are actually the same as you, facing one kind of problem after another every day, and the reason why you feel tired and others will be happy in pain is because

"A lot of people know how to solve problems in marriage, and you're complaining about why problems arise."

People who hold a person who loves me, marriage will not have problems, often the most likely to be played to death by marriage,

For example, if you like a company and the company appreciates your talent, can you just do nothing in the company and enjoy it?

Obviously not.

In marriage, you will definitely encounter large and small problems that you need to face and solve, these problems will make you feel the pain points of marriage, but in fact, marriage is not so bad, most people and you experience the same things.

This is the norm of marriage and the norm of life.

Marriage means that the transformation of the social identity of two people has changed from being taken care of by children to two people who need to take care of others in an instant, except for partners, we have no one to talk to, because what we are experiencing is the life of "old and young" in other people.

What really disappoints us is marriage?

It is not, what disappoints us, is not a person, or a relationship, but the strong contrast between our fantasies and reality.

Marriage is not a perfect operation that can be generated by love, but it requires two people to solve one problem after another in order to maintain the most basic background of life.

How do we balance home and work?

How do we balance the costs of our families and steadily improve our quality of life?

How do we do a good job in educating our children, at least to become a useful person to society?

How can we appease our parents? How to plan for the future? as.....

This is the most real environment for everyone in marriage, from a small role that once needed to be taken care of, to a big protagonist who needed to take care of others.

Seeing this, I believe that someone must say again, "Since marriage is so painful, it is better to be single and safe?"

But think about it in turn: Does the suffering of marriage really bring us only unbearable? No, this is precisely the growth and maturity that everyone must experience, and it is also a rare wealth and experience.

Human nature is like this, only after experiencing what is bitter, will you understand the meaning and preciousness of sweetness.

You only have to support the life of the elderly, and when they praise you for "filial piety", that sense of accomplishment cannot be replaced;

You've only had trivial arguments with your partner, and when you're thirsty in the middle of the night, you just stab in the side, and there's a guy who complains and acts. Bring you a glass of warm water, and that sense of happiness is incomparable.

To tell the truth, the triviality of marriage is the norm, but also the experience of two, people's continuous growth, and those marriages that have been waveless and harmonious since marriage are like a pool of stagnant water, which is precisely the most desperate and helpless existence.

Marriage must be good and hard.

The good side is that two people are attracted to each other with qualities such as love, tolerance, and attraction, while the bad side is because there are also bad sides such as complaining, selfishness, and boredom in each other's hearts.

And the meaning of marriage, in fact, is the confrontation between good and evil again and again, from the convex balance to find a sense of stability, in it, gradually know where they are, ten know why they are here, the value of life is gradually synchronized into marriage.

So, two people who love each other and enter into marriage, why do they live a chicken feather?

The root cause lies

1, you mistakenly think of the vigorousness of falling in love as what marriage should be.

2, two people lack the ability to solve problems, instead will only complain about why the problem occurs.

3, can not understand the meaning of the existence of "trivial in marriage", do not understand the marriage that has been calm, but is most likely to undercurrent.

#Love##Marriage# #喜欢跟合适哪个更重要 #