1. When I was in junior high school, male classmates came to my house to do homework, and were seen by my brother and told my parents, and then the male classmates were taken away by my father, on the grounds that they were afraid of affecting my studies. A few days later, I was in high school

1. When I was in junior high school, male classmates came to my house to do homework, and were seen by my brother and told my parents, and then the male classmates were taken away by my father, on the grounds that they were afraid of affecting my studies. A few days later, my brother who was in high school also brought a female classmate back, and I rushed to find my parents to make a small report, "Mommy and Daddy, do you care?" My brother brought the girls back for a long time! My dad: "Tube! Of course, it doesn't matter how much it's against the sky! "Then, I was thrown out of the house on the grounds that I was afraid of delaying my brother's studies!"

2, just now, in the evening, I went out to eat with a dormitory brother, talking while walking, and by the way, I also talked about my girlfriend. When I arrived at the snack street, the second goods actually said: The boss fried a bowl of girlfriends. The boss was also a cattle man. A god replied: Do you want to add a small three. Nima, boss, I was stunned by your two!

3. At the entrance of the hospital, a pregnant woman pulled the man's arm deadly and said, "This is your flesh and blood." Man: "I know. Woman: "Although it is only 3 months, it is also a small life." Man: "I know. Woman: "That room is full of machines, I'm afraid." Man: "I know. Woman: "Why are you so cruel!" The man took a sip of his cigarette: "I said wife, don't you just do a routine obstetric examination, why do you talk so much nonsense?" ”

4, I have to say that a major feature of the terrier on the network is that it comes and goes quickly, and it is easy to create more than a dozen in a year, and one will appear on average every month. And when you think back to the previous month or two of the stem, you will suddenly feel that this stem has been a long time ago ~ the stem is endless, can bring happiness to people, but it is not a brain. And over-playing with the terrier, constantly repeating, will also make the people around you feel bored. So it's important to play with the terrier in moderation.

5, just now the lady of the hotel told me one thing, the couple at the next table are the old customers here. They had just opened a restaurant many years ago, and the couple had been coming over often. One or two dishes are packed each time and taken away for decades without interruption. I was very touched to hear it, and I didn't expect that an old couple could love each other for decades, but they still couldn't cook...

6, in high school, the buddies and the class teacher daughter fell in love and was reported, since then the class teacher has repeatedly looked for the stubble of the buddies, others do a problem, the buddies have to do ten, others memorize a hundred words, and the buddies have to memorize a thousand. The more the buddies fight, the more the class teacher straightens him out, and the brothers give up the struggle. Two years later, relying on the special treatment of the class teacher, the brothers were stunned to be admitted to Nankai, and the daughter of the class teacher only went to a college.

7, this day I was walking on the cao field, saw a girl is very beautiful, everywhere I go is a beautiful landscape. At this time, several young men who were playing on the cao field noticed the sister, and one by one they all stared at the girl. I shouted at them: What are you doing! Can you have a little quality! At this time, the girl turned her head and said: Senior, since you have said so yourself, can you put down your mobile phone?

8, the company has a new female college student who returned from studying abroad, the appearance is very beautiful, the temperament is good, probably this female college student has money at home, and the rich and powerful do not care about this salary, so she can be more than 20 days late in a month. This morning I asked the female college student: How much has your salary been deducted this month? The female college student said: Deduct 800. I said: Huh? Isn't that the company's rule to deduct 20 points for every minute of lateness? Only to see the female college student blushed and said: The first few months of late deduction is too much, the boss gave me a late package of 800 yuan.

9, a sister applied for a WeChat trumpet, want to tease their brother, they added their brother WeChat. Sister: Hi, handsome man, I saw you at a friend today and thought you were very handsome, can you make a friend? Brother: Yes, what is it called? The sister then asked: Call me Beanie, handsome guy do you have a girlfriend? Brother: No, there is no fit. Sister: Do you think I'm suitable? Brother: It's not appropriate! Younger sister! The next time you apply for a trumpet, can you please stop using your own photo as an avatar?

10, my son is in the second grade this year, and when he got home from school today, he ran into his bedroom. Wrapped in a pure gold piggy bank hidden under the window, the little student said: Mom, this is my pocket money, I want to use this money to buy my dad a pair of shoes! After I listened, I was a little moved and asked: What kind of shoes did you buy for your father? Son: As long as the sole is soft, you can do whatever brand. Me: Why? Son: Because my test results are coming out.

11, after more than a month of business trips, I finally came back, in order to give my girlfriend a surprise, I did not tell her, and finally returned home at six o'clock in the afternoon. I look at the empty-handed heart is too unwilling to go, the girlfriend has been alone at home for so long, hurry to buy a bouquet of roses to make up for her!

12, it is rumored that there is a room in the school that is haunted, and from time to time in the house, there are women's sighs, the sound of opening and closing doors, the sound of babies crying, the sound of children whispering, and the sound of men screaming loudly... One classmate, who couldn't contain his curiosity, came to school late one night, opened the door of the room, and was horrified to see: a person, a table, a chair, a door, a ruler.

13, when I was in college, one night the three of the dormitories wanted to play cards and called me, I was worried that the housekeeper aunt would raid the room at night and refused, and the result was that at ten o'clock, my mother really checked the room, looking at the melon shell cigarette butts and three guys who were stunned with cards, the big mother didn't say a word, directly opened my quilt and directly beat me: tell you to pretend to sleep, tell you to pretend to sleep.

14, when climbing the mountain and my girlfriend quarreled, after the quarrel I silently followed her ass. After a while she stepped aside and said, "Live and go!" "I asked what's wrong? She said: "I have two little people in my head now, one with the left foot and the other with the right foot, and they both told me to kick you down the mountain. ”