1. Just entered the company and fell in love with the female leader, the female leader said to me on her birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded,

1. Just entered the company and fell in love with the female leader, the female leader said to me on her birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded, and I happily went up and hugged it and kissed it twenty times. The female leader was angry: "Let you kiss it, how did you kiss it so much?" I can only give you the money to kiss it!" I slapped her angrily and said, "How do you talk doesn't count, you're stupid?" Now what to do, for the sake of integrity, I seem to have lost all my career love!

2. Nowadays, many people choose to go to distant places, and generally choose to go north to Guangzhou. It is commonly known as "North Drift". I asked a buddy who was drifting north, I said how does it feel? He said: It's beautiful. I asked him again: What beauty? Is there any beauty in our hometown? He replied: That is no better, here when the smog day comes, it is like living in a fairyland. I thought to myself: That's incomparable, after all, not every place is a fairyland.

3. I have a special girlfriend friend in college, and I have to take a picture of my daughter at dinner, which is very annoying. Just went to eat spicy hot, the dish came up, I was about to move the chopsticks, my friend said: Wait a minute, I took a picture of the result of the dang, the phone fell out of the pot. He hurried to use a spoon to catch the phone. I said: Wait a minute, I'll take a picture. "

4. My sister works at the Futukang factory and is favored by the handsome team leader. In order to pursue my sister, the group leader came to my house every day in the name of his classmates to rub rice. Later, the mother directly said to the elder sister: Or you will marry him! The sister asked curiously: Why? The old mother said: This kind of rubbing rice every day, good villains are also their own people, and they don't pay the food fee, and they don't eat our family to the point of collapse!

5. I was pregnant with my sister-in-law at the same time, and my mother-in-law bought a box of goose eggs for me and my sister-in-law to share! We took out the goose eggs and counted them, 13 in total. Alas, the division is uneven, ah, what can be done about this? Just when I was worried, my sister-in-law said, "Let's play hide-and-seek, and whoever wins will belong to the last goose egg!" "I thought it was fine, so I put the goose eggs on the table, closed my eyes and started counting. However, when I opened my eyes, I found that my sister-in-law had run away with all the goose eggs.??

6. My wife went back to my mother's house, at night I slept with my son in the big bed, in the middle of the night I slept soundly, suddenly felt someone touching my feet, opened my eyes suddenly, no one! Move your feet, there's nothing around! Only then did I close my eyes in peace and feel like someone was touching my feet again? Frightened, I quickly sat up and turned on the flashlight of my phone, forehead! My son was kicked to the ground by me! A friend of the opposite sex, we both have nothing to talk about, I live alone, a few nights ago walking, she suddenly came a sentence, at night a person can not sleep cold, I witty seconds reply: "Cold ah ~ ~, a person is about to freeze to death." After 3 seconds, she twisted my arm and said, "You're so bad! I said, "I didn't say anything, you thought about it yourself." She blushed and said, "I, I didn't think about it either."

7. The little goldfish goes on an adventure in the human world, and the human places it in the tank next to the TV. On this day, the little goldfish was released and returned to the familiar river. When he first got home, Dad was already asleep, and he quickly shook Dad and woke him up. The little goldfish said: "It is said on TV that sleeping and opening your eyes is not good for the body, it is easy to dry eyes, and your eyes are astringent. ”

8. The sister-in-law used to work as a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, and the two lived a plain life, but last week, the sister-in-law's husband was in a car accident and did not rescue him, and the sister-in-law was sad. At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance pay? The sister-in-law replied: At that time, I did not approve of it, and I did not let him buy it. I asked again: Then how much property did he leave for you? The sister-in-law cried: Two hundred and thirty million. Two hundred million is: remembrance, reminiscence. Thirty million: Don't take good care of the children, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.

9. Some time ago dude push!! Recommended me to buy an electronic eye, after using it feels very good. In the afternoon, I went out to take the bus and slipped it into my jeans pocket. Maybe the jeans were so tight that they pressed on the switch, and the whole cabin watched my lower body smoke all the time. I was still looking at my phone and didn't notice it until a kind buddy patted me: Dude, you seem to have exploded. I:......

10. Tired of walking, I sat down in a park chair and took out a snack. At this time, a big mother led the little grandson over, and the little boy reached for my snack. I dodged away, and my aunt said to my grandson, "Uncle is a stingy ghost, let's not." So I gave the little boy the snack, got up and left. The child was crying with his tongue outstretched: "Spicy, spicy..."

11. The child's father is an engineer, and the child has always been proud of this. One day he was chatting with his tablemates, and the child said, "Do you know the Himalayas?" The same table said: "The world brother Yifeng who does not know ah." The child proudly said, "Yes, my father built it." The table was speechless, and he thought for a moment and said, "Do you know the Dead Sea?" That's my dad sand dead. ”

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