1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I spoke

1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the work she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react to her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

2. I heard that the boss's baby daughter is particularly beautiful, and I have always been curious about her appearance. Later, when I saw it, there was a pair of big long legs! So, I got a series of her contact information from the private investigator, such as phone number, game name, QQ account number. After talking for half a year, I also told her my true identity and confessed. She sent me a family portrait from her childhood family and said that if she could guess which one was her, she would agree to be with me. So, I excitedly guessed several times and didn't guess correctly! She said disappointedly: It seems that the two of us are not lucky, I was in my mother's belly at that time, so obvious you can't see it!

3. Today the brother-in-law came to my house crying and mourning: Whoops... Wife: What's wrong? Why did you punch someone twice? Brother-in-law: Today, I went to the street and came to a tough girl, I saw a nose hair in my nostrils, I was kind enough to put my hand into it, and then she punched me. Wife: What about the other punch in your face? Brother-in-law: I saw that the girl was angry, and I thought I was doing something wrong, so I stuffed my nose hair into it again. The wife beat him up angrily: You deserve it!

4. During the New Year, I press a group of children in my family to pay for the new year. There was not enough money to give, so he asked the little nephew to borrow a hundred yuan. As a result, I really forgot about it. On this day, the little nephew who lived next door came to my house and borrowed a bag of salt. He said, "Urgent, my mom is cooking." After a while, the little nephew returned the salt to me. Me: Little nephew, you don't have to be in such a hurry to pay it back! Little nephew: I don't pay back what I owe to others, and my heart is blocked. You owe me 100 yuan, it's been 249 days, you can't block the panic in your heart?

5. I am a house seller in Country Garden, and today I finally paid a salary, I sold thirteen houses last month and received a salary of 900,000 yuan! As soon as the salary was paid, the hostess said to me: Don't put all the money in your pocket is not safe! As soon as I listened, my heart tightened, and the lady boss was right, I can't take this money away by my wife. After that, I solemnly returned the money to the hostess...

6. Last weekend I went hiking with my girlfriend, and the hills in the park weren't very high. Halfway through, I said, "Baby, I'm tired of walking, let's go back." The girlfriend snapped: "I didn't say I was tired, but you said tired first?" They are all halfway up the mountainside, how can they give up halfway? Do everything like this, can it be successful! I bowed my head in shame. The girlfriend said more energetically: "The body needs to exercise more!" "I silently threw down my girlfriend, and I couldn't move my back.

7. The homework that should be reviewed at night is basically the same, the classmates said that it is better for us to play Truth or Dare, everyone agreed, I did not expect that my brother would lose a round, I said big adventure. The problem given by the classmates was to pour all the warm water in the kettle on another classmate. I was afraid, and I went with the classmates assuring him that something was going on, and I poured a large glass of water down the boy for a long time. Then he said: I always wanted to have a girl soak me, but I couldn't imagine that it was like this.

8. When I was in college, my roommate's family conditions were very good. The monthly expenditure is about fifty thousand. After graduating, she worked in a low-key Internet company, and a colleague fell in love with her. Although the roommate has money, but his behavior is very low-key, he agrees to him when he sees that the colleague is very good. Then the two of them went to eat at an ordinary hotel, about five hundred per person. After the dish came up, the colleague gently sandwiched the dish to the roommate and said: You come to Guangzhou alone as a little girl, rarely come to this kind of restaurant, right?

9. Teacher: "Wang Ming, why did you copy the class leader's homework?" Wang Ming: "Teacher, copying homework can't actually be called copying homework, language is called reference, mathematics is called analogy, English is called copy, geographical is migration, biological is transcription, physical is a reference system, chemically called isomers, politically called seeking common ground while reserving differences, history is the great unification of culture." There was thunderous applause at the class.

10. I work in a garment factory, and when I arrived at the workshop this morning, I saw a one-dollar steel hammer on the ground! I don't know why, from morning to noon, it was on the ground and no one picked it up. Finally, the sweeping aunt picked it up and put it on my desk. At night, I thought that it was not mine, so I took this yuan and sent red envelopes in the department group, one by one, like grandchildren.

11. My dad and my mom were in the same village, and my dad liked my mom since he was a kid. But my mother just didn't agree, my father didn't give up, carrying things all day to go to grandpa for drinks. Later, my grandfather said to my mother: "Girl, this young man is very good, the family conditions are not bad, he is not ugly, he is still small, it does not matter if he is short, he will grow tall in the future." The mother was very obedient and had to reluctantly agree. After so many years, my dad is not a centimeter long! #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph##搞笑幽默趣闻 #