Introduction: Parents treat their children as treasures, and carefully take care of them as they grow up, lest they be wronged. Children of the same age or similar age play together, kindergarten and primary school will contact more classmates, and children will inevitably have friction when they get along. When being bullied and beaten, parents are very distressed and confused, few parents know that their children are bullied indifferent, directly instead of him or let the child for tat, I believe that these two practices have.
For young children, he may know that he has been wronged, but he does not know how to do it, either to cry sadly or to tell his mother, and some children with a strong sense of self-protection will fight back.
01, the child is beaten, far from being as simple as hitting back
In the early childhood education program "Don't Underestimate Me", the two children clashed, one boy grabbed the hair of the other, at which time Professor Wang Tao immediately told the beaten child to fight back.
The vast majority of people in the comment area of this practice support it, and they must fight back, otherwise they will be bullied and will become "gas bags". But a few people believe that countering violence with violence is not the best way to solve the problem, and it is most important to teach children to protect themselves from harm.
Psychologists have tracked 2583 times the treatment of friction between children, summarizing the different reactions of children to different reactions to bullying and deciding different consequences.
In the records, 80% of the children will shrink back and cry when they are beaten, and they will not resist, resulting in subsequent bullying. 20% of children will fight back when they are bullied, those who succeed in fighting back will hardly be beaten again, and children who suffer silently after failing to fight back are bullied more often in later life. Children who seek direct help from their parents or teachers will not be bullied again in the future.
02, the child is beaten, the guidance of parents determines his life
From different angles of view, each of them has a reason, but not every child has the courage and strength to fight back, and it is very challenging for those children who are relatively weak and gentle in nature to let him shoot back and hit people.
1, "fight back" will have greater hidden dangers
There is a little girl in "Teacher Please Answer", who was directly beaten back by her mother's education and bullied since she was a child, until she won the battle, and this way of countering violence with violence also made her develop the habit of solving problems violently. Sometimes friction with classmates will make boys play a lottery, be isolated by classmates, have no friends, and group activities are always out of place and ignored.
Bullied regardless of three seven twenty-one, direct resistance to fight back, if not considering the occasion and situation at that time, the child caused more damage in the beating than worth the loss. Or the child itself does not have the strength to resist on the scalp, once the resistance fails to produce frustration in the heart, the child will blame himself for not meeting the expectations of his parents, and the next time he is bullied, he may choose to keep silent, and even cause the other party to become more intense.
There is also a serious problem, bullying is hit back, leaving a simple and rough way of acting in the child's consciousness,
2, do not care
In "Mother-in-law and Mother", Qin Hao's daughter Rice Grain was deliberately knocked down by a little boy in kindergarten, and the boy was asked by the teacher to apologize. But since then, the little boy has always looked for stubble to hit the grain of rice, and even if he is forced into a corner, the grain of rice has not fought back.
Qin Hao's mother said that they were all children and did not need to worry about it. Many parents think that the small friction between children is normal, but in fact, for young children, it will cause a lack of self-protection awareness and inner harm.
The child's direct counterattack by being bullied is only temporary safety, and the parents' neglect attitude of making big things small and small things small, and they cannot solve the problem from the essence, which affects the child's way of thinking and the way of dealing with people in the future.
Every child will encounter being beaten at every stage of growth, and parents as guides are the most important in addition to protecting their children from being bullied, teaching him the ability to adapt to changes.
03, teach children to be kind and know how to protect themselves at the same time
Wang Xiaoqian, a former host, shared that her daughter was bitten in the face by children in kindergarten early, and her approach was unanimously praised by everyone.
It was nap time, the children were sleeping, and everyone did not cry early for fear of affecting them. Wang Xiaoqian asked why she did not tell the teacher at the first time, but early on, she thought that the child was playing with her, and told the teacher that she was filing a complaint.
Wang Xiaoqian sighed that the child did not want to influence others not to tell the teacher, this is kind but there must be a bottom line, do not let yourself be hurt.
She guides the child to push the other party away directly when encountering a similar situation, and to tell the teacher at the first time. As a mother, Wang Xiaoqian did not angrily stand up for her daughter, nor did she ignore her daughter's harm, but taught her how to protect herself.
Usually, children should be taught to learn to protect themselves from harm and cultivate a sense of self-protection.
First of all, let the child have the strength not to be bullied, cultivate a sense of autonomy from an early age, let him know how to get along with people, be able to detect it at the first time when he is bullied, and be brave enough to say no.
Secondly, cultivate an optimistic personality, and listen to the child's true thoughts when encountering any problems in life. Even if you make mistakes, you can't indiscriminately blame, to understand the situation so that children have a cheerful and optimistic personality, know the skills of getting along with people, and it is easier to make friends and stay away from bullying.
Finally, parents do a good job of backing, so that children understand that parents will always protect him unconditionally, and when they encounter being bullied, they must let their parents know at the first time, bringing children a sense of security and courage.
epilogue:
In "Strange Story", Cai Yongkang said: It is necessary to fight back, but it is more important to pass on the wisdom of the child to fight back. In the face of children being beaten, every parent is distressed and angry, but the psychology of impulsive "revenge" is not advisable. Be sure to understand the situation, calm analysis, overprotection and neglect are not the best methods. Teach him the necessary ways to protect and let the child's kindness have a bottom line.
(The picture source of this article is the network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)