At night, when I went to play at the home of a female colleague, just when her 7-year-old son was not sleeping, I teased him: "How are the test results?" He looked at me and asked, "Brother, is your girlfriend good-looking?" High salary

At night, when I went to play at the home of a female colleague, just when her 7-year-old son was not sleeping, I teased him: "How are the test results?" He looked at me and asked, "Brother, is your girlfriend good-looking?" Is the salary high? Without waiting for me to answer, he continued: "Your girlfriend is definitely not as good looking as my mother, otherwise she would not have come to my mother at night." You certainly don't have a high salary, otherwise you wouldn't be driving a hundred thousand cars. "I was suddenly angry, and he was all right. I was angry, so I teased him, "I'll be your father!" He sneered, "Brother, don't think it's so useless, many people have such thoughts, but...you have to pass this level first!" I was about to speak when a female colleague came over and pulled me away and whispered, "Brother, what do you think of me, don't tell the child, he's still young and doesn't understand anything!" "I'm speechless, just nawa still says she doesn't understand anything?" The female colleague said: "Brother, I tell you the truth, although we have a good relationship, you are still not qualified to be the father of the child." I wondered, "Why?" The female colleague said: "I think well, this time to find a partner, I have to find a friend for the child." You're a little older, and there's a generation gap with my kids? "I went, I was only 22 years old, she was 35 years old, still think I'm older? Is it a deliberate excuse?

2. I am a sophomore at Qingdao Huanghai College, and on this day we have a first aid class, CPR first aid. Our professor demonstrated while talking, professor: press the chest with both hands, can not be too hard, press down 2 ~ 3cm, too much strength is easy to break the patient's ribs! Professor: Okay, let's take a look at the demonstration! The professor pressed hard with both hands, clicked, and the ribs of the model were broken...

3. I was expelled from school because my female teacher became pregnant, so I transferred to a new school. When my brother was in class one day, the teacher did not shout for class after entering the classroom. After a while, the teacher suddenly called out to class. As soon as I saw that my classmates had all stood up, I thought it was time for class. Then I shouted: Goodbye teacher. I was embarrassed, and the whole class laughed...

4. During the college entrance examination, I wrote a math problem wrong, and I could only regret going to Fudan to go to school. When I came home from vacation and had nothing to do, I went to help my sister, who was in the sixth grade, to make up lessons, pay and eat and live. I am particularly happy because this is a job for my brother in life. Unexpectedly, after a week of work, I let my aunt fire him. Because my sister and I eat snacks every day with the air conditioner on, I have increased the collection of costumes for my sister's "Miracle Warmth" to 95%!

5. Today and the daughter-in-law went to the mother-in-law to eat, after eating do not want to wash the dishes, the mother-in-law suggested: let's play hide-and-seek, let my daughter-in-law to catch, catch who washes the dishes. My daughter-in-law listened to it fairly, so that she didn't have to wash the dishes, and her heart was beautiful. But the result was so surprising that I couldn't find us, so I called my mother-in-law: I lost, where are you hiding, hurry up. The mother-in-law said: If you lose, you will wash the dishes quickly, we are visiting the mall, you will wash the dishes at home, go back to us to check. Just listen to the phone beep and hang up.

6. During the interview, the interviewer asked me expressionlessly: What software do you use to design? Candidate: AR and PS. Interviewer: Why use PS? Can't you just use a little advanced one? Everyone likes the foreign software, and other companies love to use it! Candidate: What software? Interviewer: Photoshop!

7. Yesterday I was kicked out of the house by my girlfriend because of some small matter. Walking in the park, I saw someone arguing in the distance, and when I found 2 little farts, I planned to go up and fight. Suddenly a little fart child pointed at me and said to the other party, see no, you grow up which kind of instigation! The child on the other side looked at me, and then immediately rushed up to fight with the little friend on the other side, and I couldn't pull it away, only I stood there motionless.

8. The abbot lost to Dongfang Undefeated in this huashan sword and did not get a good ranking. These days the abbot has been absent-minded, and today he returned home very late. What I didn't expect was that the abbot hadn't brought the key yet, so he had to get the trick. Shi Tai came out to open the door, and because he did not wear contact lenses, he did not recognize that it was the abbot. Mrs. Shi: I'm sorry, the abbot is not at home. Abbot: Well, I'll come back tomorrow! #Funny# #搞笑段子 #