Several studies, such as the Department of Psychiatry and psychology, have shown that early childhood psychological development is closely related to character formation in adulthood. As the saying goes, three years old looks big, seven years old looks old.
In this way, a person's life may be predestined as early as early childhood.
It sounds hard to accept, as if everything is predestined, irresistible and unchangeable.
So why is that? If childhood is unfortunate, how to get rid of the shackles of childhood to our lives when we grow up?
Why does early childhood have an indelible impact on a person's life?
In the field of psychological research, the period from the fetus to the age of 6 to 7 years old is called the "budding period", which is the golden period of a person's growth. A child will gain 50% of his intelligence when he is four years old, 20% of his intelligence in the next three years, and the last 30% between the ages of 7 and 17.
At the same time, the child's character formation and physical development are the same as intelligence, which is completed before the age of 7. Therefore, 7 years old marks the end of the embryonic period, after which people's physical, psychological, physical and intellectual stages have reached a stage of formation. This is also why most people do not have the more mature ability until the age of 7 to enter primary school to officially start their learning careers.
1. Individual psychology school: Early childhood memories can reflect the three major aspects of a person
Individual psychology believes that memory hides the truest appearance of a person. Because memory can remind people of their own limits and environment, it is like a carrier to carry, and anyone's memory is not accidental. What can be subconsciously recalled is sifted out of tens of thousands of impressions.
Memory carries all the experiences of a person's past, and people can take comfort or learn lessons from it, achieve the realization of a goal in life, and make a person step by step become what they are today.
First, the roots and simplest forms of anyone's lifestyle are faithfully reflected in memory, especially in the first few years of life.
Psychologists can use memory to determine whether a person is neglected or spoiled in the original family in childhood, whether he can cooperate well with other people, who he likes to get along with, and how to solve problems encountered.
Second, early personal interests will point to future goals and lifestyles.
If she leaves some indelible impression in her childhood, this memory must be of interest to her, even if it may bring negative emotions. In a study, Austrian individual psychologist Alfred Adler found that a girl decided to become a doctor because of the memory of her grandfather's death as a child.
She distinctly remembers her grandfather, who had died of illness, pale and lying stiffly on all fours in a coffin, which was then covered and put into graves by relatives. It was her first impression of death, which had taken away the people who loved her the most in the world.
So whenever she hears that someone has died, she is terrified. Unexpectedly, it was because she was afraid that her loved ones would be taken away by the disease again, and when she grew up, she became a doctor who fought against death.
Third, early memories can bluntly reflect the relationship between children and family members such as parents.
And it doesn't matter if this memory is correct or not, it's so important because it embodies a person's inner thoughts. If a person is entangled in mental illness and mental disorders, it is likely that it is because the original family is not qualified.
2. Childhood trauma is difficult to heal itself because it is not nourished by the soul in childhood
An adult's healthy personality state is "self-confidence", the ability to maintain curiosity about the exploration of the world, the ability to be creative, the ability to care for the outside world and the altruistic love of strangers, and the ability to cooperate well with others.
Why do some friends lack love, always in a relationship, longing for the unconditional and sincere love of others for themselves? Because when they should have received the love of their original family, they didn't get enough, or even didn't have it at all.
In the first few years of a child's arrival in this world, the response and interaction with the original family is crucial to the formation and growth of a healthy personality. He needs to get steady positive feedback from his parents.
Between the age of zero and the first year, the infant is a state of subject-object separation, the infant does not know who he is, what his parents are, and is in a primitive chaotic state of "I am the world". At this stage of the full moon to one and a half years old, through the response of parents and the outside world, babies can gradually distinguish "who I am", who is outside of me, what other things, this is the subject-object separation.
During this period, the first key is positive feedback on the need for security. When the baby cries, the parents' timely care and comfort let the baby know that "I am safe", at this time, their most basic sense of security is satisfied, and also lays the foundation for the subsequent character soil and the growth of trust in the outside world.
The next key is to satisfy the baby's sense of presence. This is what children get in their interactions with their parents, such as the smiles that families show on their babies, and the happiness that dads get in games with adults. Parents and people around him will center on him and interact well, which is where the sense of presence comes from.
If this stage is not satisfied, and if a real sense of security, presence and value is not established, "psychological scarcity" will occur.
Personality disorders, schizophrenia, depression, inferiority compensation, etc., are all psychological problems affected by early psychological underdevelopment.
If a child is improperly raised between the ages of 0 and 2, such as apathy or compulsive treatment, in order to compensate for his psychology, his personality will most likely mutate, such as paranoia, control, narcissism and histrionic personality.
The main causes of depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder are also the lack of consistent, stable positive feedback received between the ages of two and six.
The more serious states are lack of love and anxiety. Specific performance is: constantly ask the partner whether they love themselves, at every turn to attack themselves, deny themselves, always feel that they can't do it, and it is impossible to succeed in anything.
The spiritual satisfaction that cannot be obtained innately must establish a stable subject-object relationship the day after tomorrow. Childhood trauma can definitely be healed, as long as for a period of time, there is a positive response in a stable object relationship.
For example, qualified parents, very good girlfriends or brothers, or talked about a very safe relationship, the lover you choose is a safe personality, he loves you stably and responds to you, and finally psychological counseling, spiritual therapy, and spiritual growth.