These 6 types of mothers are exhausted and can't raise good children! Many parents get shot first...

Previously, such a news was reported on TV:

A mother raised her son with painstaking efforts, and her son soon had a job after graduating from college. However, he quit his job every month, always complaining about the heavy workload, getting up early in the morning and working overtime at night, too bitter, too tired, and unable to stand it.

For two years, my son was at home at ease, either playing games on the Internet or spending time in society with his mother's small salary.

In response to his mother's accusations, he said with great vigour: "If you can't feed me for a lifetime, why are you so spoiled to me since childhood?" ”

After watching this show, everyone feels incredible, and the interpretation of experts has also made many parents fall into deep thinking, is there such a potential crisis in their own homes?

When I was a child, adults often said: "Small losses do not eat big losses, and small sufferings do not eat and eat big sufferings." That is to say, when the child is a child, it is a good thing to suffer a little and encounter some difficulties, if we are afraid of the child's suffering, and assume the child's responsibility, although the child's crying and entanglement are eliminated, but it deprives the child of the opportunity to cultivate good character and develop self-ability, which is a great harm."

Everyone hopes that the child will become a dragon and the girl will become a phoenix, but the incorrect way of education will often harm the child. Take a look at the 6 types of moms listed below, are you among them?

1

Excessive guilt type

We all know that German parents often say, "You have to be responsible for your actions first, in order to teach their children to be rigorous and let their children experience the feeling of frustration!" ”

Some parents in China, when letting their children grow up freely, are full of anxiety and are prone to guilt and self-blame.

I still remember the scene shared in some kindergarten mother groups - obviously the child forgot to bring something, but blamed the mother without responsibility: "I blame you, forgot to bring it to me, and I was scolded by the teacher!" When you are condemned, you even apologize: "I'm sorry, my mother forgot about it in a hurry. "In order to make the child feel less guilty, not to cry, and to carry the responsibility on himself."

In general, there may be several reasons: because of insufficient breast milk, the mother is guilty; because she is busy with trivial matters, the mother is guilty; the mother is guilty because she occasionally loses her temper with the child, the mother is guilty... But have you ever thought that loving your child to the extreme will make you feel physically and mentally exhausted?

This kind of effort, in the long run, it is difficult to get rewards, when children encounter problems that cannot be solved, they will only develop the character of blaming others and finding objective reasons, and they cannot find out the root cause of the problem, let alone progress.

2

Extremely controlling type

In the TV series "Tiger Mother and Cat Father", this type of mother takes "obedience" as the standard for judging the quality of the child, and in the eyes of many mothers, the child does not follow your planned life, expresses his ideas as he pleases, and makes his own decisions, which is "rebellion".

There are many such cases, and now that the child has grown up, even the mother will take care of it, becoming a "mother treasure" or a person without thought.

Their parents have a very selfish behavior, that is, they are particularly willing to impose their unfulfilled wishes on their children, and even some parents whose career work is not smooth will devote all their main energy in the second half of their lives to the struggle of Jackie Chan, in order to let the children develop according to their own ideas, they turn a deaf ear to the physical and psychological conditions of their children.

As the saying goes, the core of education is "dredging is clear, blocking is profitable". If it is difficult for children to live themselves, they will feel very confused, and they can only rely more on their parents and ask for help, which has been a vicious circle for a long time.

3

Keen on the comparison type

Chinese mothers love to compare is "famous" in the world, from the entrance examination scores to the trivial matters, Chinese mothers always have to compare their children with friends, colleagues, neighbors and neighbors. What stationery to buy, what private cram schools to attend, and even those who have money at home have to dry their cars and houses. Of course, in addition to material, the most important thing is the comparison of achievements.

Other people's children go to English cram schools, whether their children like it or not, they are not willing to fall behind; when the child takes the top three in the class, he asks who the first and second places are, and asks to catch up with him next time. Unconsciously, the child becomes a reference for others and becomes a weight for you to compare. Gradually, through the teaching of example, the child also only stared at the points, only knew how to brag, did not know why to learn, did not know how to apply what he had learned.

4

"Child slave" type

Child slave is a popular "hot word" in recent years, describing the life state in which some parents have been working hard for their children all their lives, busy for their children, and earning money for their children, and have lost their self-worth.

Try asking yourself: Is there any time for you to really have your own children?

Many mothers often lament the huge difference between before and after becoming a mother: after becoming a mother, she has lost herself and has become a satellite that only revolves around her child. Less time with husbands, less contact with friends, less contact with society, less interest in amateurism.

For the sake of the family and children, most of the dinner and tourism activities organized by the unit were pushed away, and even abandoned the original brilliant career, whether it was willing or forced to be helpless, it seems that only such a "wholehearted" payment can be called a competent and good mother.

But is that really the case? First of all, this side effect is very serious, because it will increase the child's sense of lack and guilt, resulting in a heavy and difficult relationship between the child and money. It can be said responsibly that the parents of the child slaves do far more harm than good to the growth of the child.

5

Overly worried type

With the same baby, Chinese mothers seem to be much more nervous in recent years. For example, when taking the baby out, Chinese mothers often keep nagging: be careful to cross the street to see the car, wear more and don't freeze, don't touch things...

When I was a child, I carried my school bag to and from school by myself, and I am afraid that it will be difficult to see for a long time in the future. Looking around, we saw the crowds of parents and traffic waiting for their children to leave school in front of the school.

Worrying about the child is the tightest string that the mother can never get rid of, and she is physically and mentally exhausted. Of course, various insecurity factors in society have also increased the burden on the psychology of mothers.

In fact, "worrying everywhere is a curse." You give the child positive hints, the child will be healthier, better, you always give the child bad worries, hints, the child may really develop in a bad direction, will also be very tight all day, become very sensitive.

6

Overwork type

We often see some pictures around us: washing clothes in the middle of the night, parents get up early and touch the dark for their children, buy vegetables and cook at dawn, send children to school, carry school bags for children throughout the whole process, children are relaxed on the side; when taking children to the bus, children sit on the seats, but parents stand on the side; buy delicious things, children take care of themselves to eat, never think about the parents around them...

Although this is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and the excellent quality of a good wife and mother, the ending is always unsatisfactory. With all this, overworked parents can't help but sigh: We are selfless to our children, why do children become more and more selfish?

Moreover, selfish children have a very strong desire to possess, and what they want must be appropriated by all means. When they grow up, the selfishness in their hearts will continue to expand, and they may do whatever it takes to get something, and the terrible consequences can be imagined.

Therefore, such overwork will indirectly promote the child's sense of lack and selfishness, and the harm to the child's growth far exceeds the benefit. And excellent parents, especially in terms of their children's independent self-care ability, will let go and spend time to cultivate their children's sense of independence.

For example, if your child is three years old, you should ask him to help you carry things when you go to the street.

When the child reaches the age of five or six, he will be asked to sweep the floor and wipe the table, and tell him how to save electricity, and teach them to tidy up their room.

Children go to school, tell them some simple safety knowledge, ask them to walk to school by themselves, come back from school, and ask him to save money on stationery.

After school, the child is asked to stop by the vegetable market to buy vegetables in order to reduce the pressure on his parents.

Let the children wash the toilet during the festival and know that smell and dirty are part of life.

When children go to middle school, they have to manage their living expenses, and they have so much money that they can only starve if they overspend.

The long road of life depends on him (her) to walk on his or her own, and the difficulties must also be solved by him (her) himself. Especially the boy, for a future man, hard-working is his foundation, without the spirit of hard-working, he is doomed to face the increasingly competitive social competition.

Let the children suffer a little and suffer a little toss, which is to prepare for their future life journey to go smoothly and smoothly, to refuel and inflate, store energy, and let them fully realize their own value after stepping into the society and in the stormy life.

When mom on the road, do you step on these pits?

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