Wen\Yining, Jiang Zuo Meiniang
Pictured\ "The Perfect Companion" stills
Recently, "Perfect Partner" swept the whole network, men may be chasing dramas for Gao Yuanyuan, and I, naturally, are for "uncle" Lin Qingkun.
However, at the beginning, you will be shocked by his domineering spirit, but gradually, you will be speechless about his "death" behavior, if the real bully is in an intimate relationship, really like him, rigid and self-conscious, no emotional intelligence, it is really difficult to dissipate ah.
Especially after his wife Wu Min fell from the stairs and miscarried, he did not quickly call an ambulance, and did not go to help his poor wife, he was only immersed in the situation of "jealousy", indifferent to the extreme, grumpy to the extreme, even if in the end he knew that his wife was not deliberately concealed, then he did not have any pity for his wife who could not cry, but worried about face, let Wu Min go to the bathroom to wash his face after the abortion.
Maybe it was at that moment that Wu Min was completely heartbroken, and the divorce had to be put on the agenda, but later, when you saw that Lin Qingkun put all his property under Wu Min's name and prepaid the rent for Wu Min's hosting class for three years, you can understand how much he loves this family and how much he loves Wu Min, but "it is difficult to break the mirror and reunite", Lin Qingkun can only temporarily become a lonely person.
This is a lamentable relationship, women once confidently put all their feelings on men, paid youth, and men are also thinking about going to the workplace to fight, earning enough booty for women, but in the end it is mainly because of Lin Qingkun's straight male pie, marking it with a terminator.
In reality, is a man like Lin Qingkun really not incurable? In fact, when Wu Min left Lin Qingkun's company, his subordinates all said to Wu Min, in fact, Lin Zong is really good, he did not spend a little thought, we who watched the drama also saw it very clearly, even if he also moved his heart to Chen Shan, but he was affectionate, stopped the courtesy, in essence, it is still a good man, it is a pity to miss it!
Hey, in reality, in fact, even if he only changes so much, maybe the ending between him and Wu Min can really be rewritten, but unfortunately Wu Min, I really don't know how to cherish, this handsome and golden overlord Lin Qingkun, she actually doesn't want it? Then leave it to me, and transform him into my man in 30 days!
How to Change Your Husband in 30 Days:
"The way a woman transforms a man is actually the way to heal her own wounds and satisfy her demands."
Yes, in fact, it is not difficult to transform the men around you, as long as you can see your own scars in marriage, let go of these three things, and give men the three things they need, I believe that as long as he is like the overlord Lin Qingkun's family outlook and marriage outlook are very positive, then he will change for you.
01. Let go of your suspicions and give him solid trust
Cao Yu said:
"Only by knowing each other can we not doubt each other; only by not doubting each other can we know each other."
Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship, the most important thing to be together for a long time, and this thing is especially important for men.
When watching "Big River", at the beginning I liked the love between Song Yunhui and Cheng Kaiyan, but after seeing it, I really pinched the sweat for Cheng Kaiyan, and the good marriage was ruined in her own hands.
Although Cheng Kaiyan was born rich, but her own background is a little worse, the more Song Yunhui's career is thriving, the more she feels inferior and anxious. In order to be able to firmly grasp Song Yunhui in her own hands, she began to suspect and doubt for no reason: from the female colleagues around Song Yunhui, to the negotiators who returned from the United States, to the students before her husband, she was her imaginary enemy.
So in the end, suffering from gains and losses, doubts abounded, a good marriage, and finally went to breakup.
Isn't Wu Min in "The Perfect Partner" also like this? Obviously Lin Qingkun is loyal to her, but she is always suspicious of ghosts, obviously her husband and Chen Shan are very innocent, she always feels that Lin Qingkun treats Chen Shan differently. What to do? If you are already intellectually convinced of your husband's character, then why should you suffer from gain and loss? Can't great time be spent enjoying a good life and pursuing good goals?
In How to Change Your Husband in 30 Days, advice for your wife is written in detail. It advises the wife to set a 30-day deadline for herself to change herself and then the man. The first of these is to "put down my husband's mobile phone."
The author says:
"Mobile phones, which are indispensable standard configurations in life, are sophisticated artifacts for external communication in the workplace, but in marriage, they may become inflammable and explosive dangerous goods that break the trust between husband and wife."
Yes, put down his phone, put away his doubts and suspicions, give your husband a firm trust, give him more freedom and space, he will truly appreciate you, will close the distance between each other.
Putting down the phone here is not a necessity, we just use the phone to detect your trust, if you are more and more curious about his phone, more and more want to catch the clues, this does not mean that he must have a problem, but it must mean that your city of trust is beginning to collapse.
Some people say, what if he really has a problem? It is true that this is possible, but if this is the case, your trust is also likely to give him the opportunity to get lost, rather than using the energy of peeking at his mobile phone and wasting your feelings, it is better to be prepared for divorce, is not it more useful for the future?
02. Let go of the debasement and give him adoring recognition
The love story of Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe is a good story. Wang Xiaobo is a late-blooming writer, when he was young, he was not proud of his appearance, he was still very poor, but his talent made the great beauty Li Yinhe fall in love at a glance, and married him happily.
Wandering around to middle age, Wang Xiaobo is still very depressed, he has done a lot of work, but not as successful, he also wrote novels, but has not been recognized, which once made his brother very angry, forced him to go out to find a decent job, to earn more money back.
However, only Li Yinhe knew that Wang Xiaobo was talented, and she did not care that he did not make money, in addition to giving Wang Xiaobo full support, she also took the initiative to undertake the task of making money and supporting her family.
In the words of Li Yinhe:
"He has such a wise mind, I don't want him to do rough work."
Li Yinhe was so firm in his approval of Wang Xiaobo and worshipped Wang Xiaobo. The feelings of two people, ah, that is honey blending oil, beautiful bubbling. If it were not for the death of Wang Xiaobo, the happiness of these two people would last a long time! Later, Li Yinhe sorted out Wang Xiaobo's works and printed them, and the whole world testified for her, her vision is not bad, this man, indeed, there is something. And this, in turn, makes people more and more jealous of the love between them that once resonated with the soul.
In How to Change Your Husband in 30 Days, the author also writes:
"The success of a man's career lies not only in his own efforts, but more importantly, whether he has a woman around him who loves him and supports him."
Yes, the man himself has a strong desire to conquer and possess, and if the wife can properly give her husband support, encouragement, and even adoring approval, that is the greater motivation for him to continue to progress and struggle.
But all this did not happen to Wu Min and Lin Qingkun, at the beginning Wu Min also favored Lin's talent, only to insist on going his own way, abandoning his studies, had to accompany him, and then willingly went to wash his hands and make soup for him, and was a full-time wife for many years, but in the play, she no longer had a worshipful eye for Lin Qingkun, who had been more successful in her career, and some were demeaning and resentful.
In her opinion, no matter how much money her husband earns, it is not as important as the warmth around her, and no matter how superior her husband gives her a life, it is not as important as greetings all the time.
Is she right? Yes, no. Right is her spiritual needs, wrong is that she is too one-sided to look at life, without Lin Qingkun's weight forward, can she think quietly and well for so many years? Lin Qingkun has a problem, but what about herself? I'm too closed to myself, too focused on my little emotions.
To love a man, you must give him enough respect, let him understand that his efforts are valuable, let him be willingly driven by you, and it is not good for you to share the fruits of victory with him?
03. Let go of the toughness and give him the gentleness that is exclusive
Some women are gentle, but she is so gentle with everyone of the opposite sex, it is not exclusive love. Some women are very strong, but they can be gentle with a man, which is true love.
In the movie "Embracing You Through the Cold Winter", the courier rider played by Jia Ling is named Wu Ge, a middle-aged divorced woman, she has a strong appearance, an uninhibited image, her hair is always Pengpeng messy, and she always wears the courier's characteristic clothing.
Indeed, such a fierce woman, at first glance, lacks the moisture of love.
Until she met Ye Ziyang, a piano teacher played by Zhu Yilong, she began to pay attention to the dynamics of this man's circle of friends, began to pay attention to her own image, and even began to put on lipstick, buy underwear, and wanted to show her femininity in front of her beloved man.
You see, it's not that she won't be gentle, it's just that she hasn't met her true love. Therefore, giving a man exclusive tenderness is the greatest recognition of this man and this relationship.
Of course, in reality, many women after marriage, the gentleness of the past will gradually be forced by the bland and boring or even a chicken feather marriage to give in all the way, until the balance of tenderness is 0, and even some women are called "mother night forks" after marriage. These may not be to blame women, because life will always slowly swallow up the gentleness of women, chai rice oil and salt, family chores, will make an originally gentle woman crazy.
However, women must learn to find the original intention in the chicken and dog fragments, and must not forget the gentle and watery nature. In traditional Chinese culture, men are masculine and women are gentle, and the best way for women to transform men is to use soft kegang, four or two strokes of thousand pounds.
In the book "How to Change Your Husband in 30 Days", the author also wrote:
"Marriage experts have said from the bottom of their hearts that no man can escape the gentle embrace of a woman."
Yes, under the gentle infiltration, men will become soft, become willing to communicate with you, become more trusting and dependent on you, so if Wu Min can think about it in another position in marriage, don't always use a tough posture to fight Against Lin Qingkun, how can Lin Qingkun's hegemony still be horizontal. Even if Lin Qingkun has excessive places, as long as he is still within the bottom line, is it completely possible to deal with it calmly? Give him a gentle harbor and allow him to slowly come to himself?
Women's toughness is mostly a cocoon born after being snubbed, but women must know that when you use the cocoon to fight against the man's stone, you will always be a loser, so why not be the gentle flower that is invincible to the cool breeze?
04. Mei Niang said
Marriage is an extremely long period of time, from the hand of the son, we have to go through many years together, in the long years, I am afraid that there are very few who can really look at each other and not get tired of it.
No one can be static in a marriage, it is difficult to change yourself, it is even more difficult to change a man, but if you want to change a man, you must first change yourself.
"How to change your husband in 30 days" book, very practical, if you really want to change your husband, then every day you need to do things, it is very well written for you very well, if you can really do what is written in the book, I believe you will definitely get unexpected surprises.
Just like me, the straight man Old Yang has long since properly become my "Lin Qingkun".
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