For Chinese men, marrying wives and wives, hoping that the other party will wash clothes, cook, take care of the home with children, and take care of the family like a nanny.
But a good man with wisdom will weigh that strong women are more beneficial to men and more beneficial to the next generation.
If you wanted to be a good wife and mother before, relying on men everywhere, you must have an epiphany. Don't put your status lower than men. Blindly accommodating to the other party, in the end it is yourself who is hurt the most.
Good relationships lie in equality and mutual respect
Many women think that putting their places lower than men can tie a man's heart and make him die for you. But you don't think that when you lower your self-esteem, he will look down on you even more.
In the drama "Perfect Diary", Chen Shan, played by Gao Yuanyuan, is the role of a contemporary strong woman, and Wu Min, played by Wang Zhen'er, is the role of "good wife and good mother" in the traditional Chinese sense.
In this drama, Wu Min gave up his further education in spite of her mother's opposition for the career development of her husband Lin Qingkun, and resolutely decided to follow Lin Qingkun and became a full-time wife at home. Of course, Wu Min's vision is right, Lin Qingkun really has a successful career and gives Wu Min the best material support.
However, this is not the life that Wu Min originally wanted, what she wanted was to be respected, understood, and seen. And Lin Qingkun always used busy work as an excuse to gradually alienate Wu Min.
This made Wu Min very aggrieved, even regretful. Regret that you should have had your own career in the first place so that you can get the respect of the other party. So she had a lot of conflicts with her husband Lin Qingkun. In fact, she hopes that the other party can pay attention to her, and she even wants to open a nursery to prove herself.
In contrast, Chen Shan, a strong woman in the play, not only got the development of her career. At the same time, it also won the appreciation of Lin Qingkun. Lin Qingkun helped Chen Shan many times in the play, even sacrificing himself to complete the other party. In fact, this is human nature, people always like to interact with people who are close to themselves.
So don't be a good wife and mother, lower your status, and accommodate each other. Powerful men know how to respect women, and those macho men who do not respect women are mostly self-absorbed, arrogant and not self-aware, and must stay away as soon as possible. And there is a high probability of violent tendencies.
Because arrogance is actually lack of self-confidence. They cover up their inferiority through arrogance and gain a sense of superiority by making fun of others. Once you undo the other person's arrogance, he will rely on his physical superiority to release his shamed anger. Because he had no other way but to rely on this way to achieve "victory".
And this kind of behavior is essentially the weak thinking, because he has nothing, empty strength advantage. Of course, there are also men who may not even have the strength.
Strong women are more conducive to the growth of children
True strong women are not necessarily grumpy, but they must be independent.
An independent woman has a more perfect personality than that of a "virtuous wife and mother". In a relationship, the weaker party is often repressed in personality and often traumatized.
They tend to be more attached to men and introverted and insecure. This is because the parenting style of the original family, usually controlled, is more blamed. When they are young, they are often blindly obedient to their parents because they are very weak and unable to live alone away from their parents. They tend to suppress their anger, and obedience becomes a habit of coming to her.
For example, a man marries a good wife and mother. This man found this wife very good in personality, and he could bully each other to the next level. When this man cheats, he touches the bottom line of this woman. The man thought he could get out of the way and get the freedom he wanted. But he encountered a very big obstacle, and this good wife and mother no longer suppressed themselves, but committed many extreme acts.
Just like Wu Min in "Perfect Diary", in order to stimulate her husband Lin Qingkun, she pretended to have a good relationship with Chen Shan's husband.
In fact, this kind of constantly suppressing yourself through "forbearance" is very frightening. There is a term in psychology called the "kicking cat effect".
The kicking cat effect is a chain reaction that results from venting dissatisfaction with objects that are weaker than oneself or have a lower rank than oneself. The "kicking cat effect" depicts a typical contagion of bad emotions.
Baidu Encyclopedia
When a woman suppresses her emotions after marriage, she will unconsciously vent to the child. She wanted to be seen. Maybe she herself didn't know why her emotional fluctuations in the face of her child's crying were so big. In fact, they are all the result of being suppressed in the early years of the original family or even after marriage.
And when a woman starts to become independent, she doesn't need to suppress emotions to gain dependence, security. In the face of bad emotions, she will calmly unblock them rather than suppress them. She can accept the child's emotions. Nor will she make her child completely dependent on her through means of control. On the contrary, it allows the subjectivity of children to have better room for development.
So, to sum up
Women must live out their true selves. Only when women are strong can they meet good men, and can they be more conducive to the development of the next generation. Men should also not have a patriarchal mentality, and put their position above women. Unequal relationships do not lead to true happiness.
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