Why keep boundaries with your child? The relationship with the parents is too good, and it is difficult for the child to have a career in the future
preface:
When we are young, we listen to the people around us say that when we grow up, we should be filial to our parents and listen to their parents.
Because in our Chinese filial piety is the first, as a child often accompanied by their parents around is filial piety.
But psychologists point out that children who have too good a relationship with their mothers may not grow up to be productive.
For example, the mother's long-term companionship and help will make the child have a kind of coddling and inclusive psychology.
Slowly, children will lose their ideas and even have difficulty living their own lives.
Because they lose themselves easily and have little thought of themselves, they become dependent on their mothers.
We all know that parents are the first teacher of the child,
Therefore, the words and deeds of parents will greatly affect the formation of children's personality.
Today's society is still male and female, so most of the time the child is still with the mother for a long time.
Psychologists admit that children and mothers have a good relationship, and it is difficult to have a career when they grow up.
Many parents always want to leave the best material for their children when they are young, and they can even sacrifice their own interests.
But is this really good for the child? This relationship may place a certain burden on the child.
There are countless loves in this world that are meant to be together, but there is a kind of love that is meant to be better separated.
This kind of love is actually maternal love, and from this point of view, some mothers hinder the separation of children and mothers.
So there is today's topic, the relationship with the mother is too good, and it is difficult for the child to have a job when he grows up.
This article is worth all mothers to reflect on, let's take a look at it together.
1. Whether a person is independent or not depends on the mother
We will find many people around us today who are very dependent on love even though they are very old.
This kind of person encounters things in life and it is difficult for him to decide independently.
Even if there is a little grievance, he will return home or call his mother to tell him.
In fact, as mothers, when we are young, we must let our children know the independence of life.
After all, we can't follow them for a lifetime, and when children grow up, they have their own work and life, and parents have to give up at this time.
If a mother spoils her child excessively, she will lose her perseverance and perseverance to climb step by step.
Even when we grow up, we will be called Ma Bao Men, and marriage will naturally become unhappy.
2. Dependence on the mother
The long-term relationship between children and mothers is actually the formation of an intimate relationship.
This is also a beautiful model for people to get along with each other.
But it is a good thing to have such a person between relatives and always love yourself.
Although maternal love is a thing, we cannot rely on our mother for everything.
With this kind of dependence, it is difficult for us to grow up to be successful.
After all, accidents can't last a lifetime.
Our mother is older than us and will leave us one day, and at this time we will have to face life independently.
So as a mother, when you should let go, you must let go and let the child face it alone.
When you grow up like this, your child will definitely thank you.
3. It is easy to become unconsceived
Love your children too much, and your children will become more and more unintended.
This truth is like this in love, and it is also true in family affection.
Two people who are too close will impose their views on each other.
In this way, the child can easily become unintended and rely on the mother for everything.
Many children are overly concerned by their parents from an early age, and when they grow up, they are not willing to be too far away from their parents.
Because this kind of child has no opinion in his heart, nor does he have ambition, he is afraid of leaving his parents and cannot do anything.
Therefore, children who have too good a relationship with their parents are most likely to not show up when they grow up.
In fact, in the final analysis, this requires us as parents to let go when we should let go. ，
If you keep holding on to the child, you will hurt him.
Conclusion:
Parents and children are different individuals, just like different cells.
A bad relationship can be mutually exclusive.
Therefore, you may wish to give your child space for Yufeng to live on his own, which is the best choice.
So we choose to respect the child, so that the child learns to listen to his inner voice at a young age.
Bold trial and error, and unremitting efforts to distinguish between children's defenses, so that the best tutors.
The relationship between parents and children cannot be too close or too distant,
If it is too distant, parents do not understand that their children are prone to estrangement.
If it is too close, the child does not have independent growth space, which will affect the future development.
Therefore, when parents should let go, they must let go in order to pay back their children's best tomorrow.
END.
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References | Journal of consulting and clinical psychology