The topic of "girls grow up without a home" often makes many women feel the same way, and the sad speeches are one after another.
It is often added that I hope you will never understand this sentence.
After marriage, she is an outsider in her in-laws' home and a guest in her mother's home, which is the life experience of married women tearfully summarized.
In the family that grew up, why did you become a guest after marriage? Many people think that a bedroom is missing.
1
Recently, a post caused many netizens to complain, and many of them even directly scolded.
Some netizens asked on Zhihu: Should we decorate a bedroom for the daughter who is married?
The comments were full of scolding, and many netizens began to be angry when they saw this title.
They said they felt a deep malice toward the girl from this topic, "Is she getting married and even running out of room?" What kind of injustice has the non-only girl encountered, and the mother's room will not be worthy? ”
Lisa understands this anger, the backward concept of son preference does exist in the older generation, and the daughter who marries out is not only often hung on the lips, but also reflected in all aspects of life.
In non-exclusive families, there is no widowhood but unevenness, there is no bowl of water for sons and daughters, and the unpopular party is often a woman.
After getting married, the bedroom is gone, and there is no place for the family, which must be with a stomach grievance.
2 In the Zhihu comments, many people condemned the practice of not leaving their daughters in the bedroom, believing that it was unforgivable.
For example, some netizens set aside a room for their stepson, and then concluded: Why can't you do this for not your own children?
There are also many netizens who believe that the parents' money is the children's money, and the current society not only needs to keep a room, but also needs to buy a house for the daughter. Of course, some netizens agree not to leave a room for their daughters, on the premise that this room is discounted as a dowry and subsidized small families.
Although Lisa understood the thoughts of these netizens, she still found it difficult to agree. Son preference is a backward concept, blindly asking parents to pay is not a bad habit?
Adulthood means that both economically and spiritually require independence, rather than taking for granted the money spent on parents, whether it is an only-child family or a multi-child family, parents have the freedom to dispose of their own property.
When talking about respect and freedom, there are many people around us who ask parents to learn from Western families, and at the age when they should be independent, they think that parents are irresponsible for not helping.
How demanding are the parents of today's young people? To provide a happy original family environment, to buy a house after graduation, to keep a bedroom in the hometown, to take the second generation with children...
Back to the question of whether to give the daughter a house to marry, in fact, many times it is not because of the preference for sons over daughters, but the helplessness of the small business.
Stay or not? The key lies in how big the parents' house is, if there are only two bedrooms, the daughter can't live for a few days a year, from the perspective of realistic rationality, it is completely unnecessary.
3
Not giving a married daughter a room is actually not an important thing.
Many people value this form, which is essentially just an obsession, and the key to the problem is not the room, but the idea that it has not been respected and understood from beginning to end.
As a married daughter, what is needed is not that bedroom, but that the home will always have its own place, and the parents can be their own retreat.
If parents have their children in mind and can make their daughters feel safe when they return home after being wronged in their in-laws' homes, the formal bedroom is not important at all, and several people are crowded in a room, and their hearts can be full of happiness.
After the children have started a family, the parents have the freedom to dispose of their own houses, and whether or not to keep the room depends on the family's financial situation. It is reasonable that children should not morally kidnap their parents to stay in the room, as long as the parents leave a place for you in their hearts, that is enough.
Of course, as a woman, don't limit yourself to your in-laws and mother-in-law's home, don't put your sense of security in that bedroom, after all, gentle and powerful, independent and free, is the ultimate retreat.