Many boys not only fail to listen to their parents after puberty, but also have a very bad temper.
What's more, children and parents have become "hostile sides."
Parents obviously have done a lot for their beloved son and paid a lot. The child not only does not appreciate it, but also coldly pours a scoop of cold water: nagging endlessly, are you bothered?
If you think this is the "limit" of adolescent rebellious boys, you're dead wrong.
Let's take a look at their more outrageous behavior: hanging out with a bunch of "bad boys", sneaking online, not writing homework.
The tighter the adults supervise, the more disobedient they become. The stricter the control, the more rebellious they become.
Anyway, it's a sentence: you want me to go east, I want to go west.
Netmap intrusion and deletion
Indeed, rebellion is a psychology peculiar to adolescent boys.
As parents, these nasty behaviors of our sons really give us a headache. But think of it another way: Do we really know our sons? Have we ever truly listened to our son's inner voice?
Many times, adolescent rebellious boys are not bad in nature.
They're just bored inside and just trying to find a good listener.
Therefore, as a parent, just providing a superior living environment can no longer meet the needs of children's growth. More importantly, we have to learn to listen. Learn to feel the changes that growth brings to children.
So, how should parents deal with boys' antagonistic emotions?
Give each other time to calm down
Regardless of adults or children, if you can't control your emotions well, making some impulsive decisions on the head of the gas will often lead to an uncontrollable situation.
Even if the son really makes a mistake, we must find a way to calm ourselves down first.
Here's an interesting example: when you go out on a rainy day, you accidentally get a bean-sized mud spot on your clean clothes. If you immediately rub this mud spot with your hands, the bean-sized mud dot will not disappear, but will be rendered the size of an egg.
However, when the mud point is dry, we rub it with our hands, and the bean-sized mud dot quickly falls. With a gentle blow, where can you still see mud spots on your clothes?
Make certain concessions appropriately
As adults, we have far more experience and experience than a bunch of hairy boys. When my son's opinion disagrees with ours, we may as well make some concessions as appropriate.
The moment of concession often makes us aware of our son's desire and need for freedom and autonomy. But concessions do not mean compromises. Concessions still have to be principled.
Issues that do not involve the son's living habits and quality of life can be discussed. Problems that do not affect learning can be discussed. For example: what time to sleep, eat pork or chicken for lunch, wear sweatpants or jeans. None of this is a big deal.
However, in the face of some principled issues, even if you feel sorry for your son, you can't compromise. For example: smoking and drinking, not writing homework, etc. Even if the child argues with us because of these problems, he cannot make concessions.
"Gentleman's Agreement"
Calm down and think about it, many "conflicts" between parents and sons are due to disagreements. Adolescent boys often "don't recognize good villains", think that their wings are hardened, and repeatedly want to challenge the limits of their parents.
For example, on weekends, we make it clear that our son can't stay up too late at night. But he always wants to secretly play games all night. The next day, with a dark eye, I slept until the sun was three o'clock and didn't want to get up.
Faced with such a situation, the parents of "everything must be done" may be thunderous. In fact, we can completely make a self-adjustment, may wish to have a "gentleman's agreement" with our son.
Engage in some behaviors with them and let the child manage themselves. There is no need for us to stress over and over again: you can't do this, you can't do that. While developing good habits, the emotional conflict between parents and children will also be greatly reduced.
In short, "You have Zhang Liangji, I have a wall ladder." "Adolescent boys contradict us, and we don't want to "fight violence with violence" to be tough. It is important to make timely adjustments in the method of parenthood.
Trust when it's time to trust and give boys enough opportunities to exercise. Let go when it's time to let go, and teach your child to take responsibility for his words and deeds. In this way, the child will grow up happily in the "experience".