Today, I want to talk to my parents about material and spiritual happiness, and many parents may never realize this problem.
Some time ago, there was a video that was more popular, because the video of a student wearing, more than 300,000 clothes, shoes more than 800,000, underwear can not be seen, but I believe it is not cheap. Simply put, this student's dress adds up to more than a million, which is of course unimaginable in the eyes of ordinary people, so it has aroused people's hot discussion.
In fact, for this classmate's dress I think it is acceptable, a look at people is rich, people are not short of money, so the expensive to wear is also expensive. But what I am very disgusted about is that many children of ordinary families, obviously their parents do not have much money, but also have to compare with others.
Nowadays, many schools are popular with comparison shoes, non-brand shoes are not worn, and a pair of shoes is often thousands. If the shoes are not high-end, they will be despised by other students and will not even be eligible to play with them. To this end, many students even threaten their parents and do not go to school without buying shoes.
Of course, for most families, more than 1,000 shoes is not to say that they can't afford it, but whether it is necessary or not. What's the point of buying shoes like this purely for comparison? It will only encourage unhealthy trends among students.
This is still the school's clear rule that the school uniform must be worn, if there is no such regulation, the students do not know what to wear in this kind of comparison between students.
So why should we oppose student comparison?
The most immediate factor is that this comparison affects the child's learning.
The reason is very simple, when the child puts his mind on dressing up, studying what to wear every day, and studying how to dress more than other children, the child will certainly not put his mind on learning, so can learning still be good?
In fact, if you look at the students, you will find that the worse the students, the more they pay attention to this kind of dress. Why? It is because they cannot learn well, so they can only gain a sense of value and satisfy their sense of superiority in this way. For those students who study well, their sense of value mainly comes from learning, so they do not care much about this kind of clothing.
And in the long run, such comparisons are not conducive to children's values.
From a positive point of view, poor students gain a sense of value by dressing up, which has certain benefits for their mental health. But in the long run, when the child is always obsessed with gaining a sense of value through this way, the child is prone to go astray. When they grow up, they will compare houses, cars, children, etc., because they are used to this way of gaining value through external things.
More and more student loans are being consumed, and even naked loans, are essentially the result of the development of this bad values.
Once the child has formed this bad value, it can be said that the child's life will be very painful, because the comparison of this substance is endless.
Therefore, it is very necessary for parents to shape the source of their children's happiness from an early age.
Material happiness vs spiritual happiness
What is material happiness? It is the happiness obtained by relying on external objective things, such as dressing, eating, drinking, living, and walking, which are objective things that can be seen and touched externally, and obtaining happiness through such objective things is material happiness. Material happiness is often directly proportional to the value of matter itself, and the higher the value of matter, the more happiness there is.
Spiritual happiness is different, its happiness is not based on the acquisition of objective things, but on spiritual gains, such as helping others, reading a good book, gaining new knowledge and experience, etc., which is spiritual happiness. Spiritual happiness is not necessarily related to the value of objective things, and many times, the value of objective things is not high, but it can make us feel great happiness.
Anyone has the ability to attain both pleasures, but different people have different priorities.
We will see that those upstarts often attach great importance to material happiness, always wear gold and silver, for fear that others will not know that he has money. On the contrary, the more learned those are, the more they value spiritual happiness. Many university people, who live a very poor life, do not trim all day, and wear tattered clothes, because they are more spiritually happy.
Look at the following one, dressed like a rural grandfather, many people may not know, but he is Li Xiaowen, an academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and a professor at Beijing Normal University
Look at the following one, I believe many people know, because he just exploded on the Internet some time ago, because of the steamed bun mineral water he was holding, he was "Wei Shen" Wei Dongyi.
We will find that the more cattle X people tend to pay more attention to spiritual happiness, the lower the demand for material happiness.
In fact, we parents should also cultivate our children's ability to achieve spiritual happiness. Because spiritual happiness can bring people growth, and too much indulgence in material happiness will lead people astray.
Why should we cultivate spiritual happiness in our children
Why shouldn't we cultivate material happiness in our children? Quite simply, because material happiness has two very serious drawbacks:
First, it will be more and more difficult to obtain material pleasures
Material happiness is very simple to obtain in the beginning.
In the beginning, you give your child a candy and he will be very happy. But as your child grows older, a piece of sugar obviously won't make your child happy, and you may need to give him 100 bucks. But soon you will find that 100 yuan does not work, you need to give your child more valuable items to be happy.
The same is true for adults, you may be happy to buy an Otto at the beginning, but the next time you have to buy a better car you will be happy.
But the problem is that people's abilities are limited, and you can't always improve your ability to get value. Without access to more valuable external things, it is difficult for people to be happy.
The second substance is comparable
External objective things are visible and large, so external things can be compared, and contrast will affect people's psychological state.
You may be happy to buy an Otto, but when you see your neighbor buy an Audi, your happiness will be discounted immediately. Therefore, attaching importance to material happiness also determines that we are very easy to compare with others. As long as our own things are inferior to others, we will feel pain no matter how good they are.
Once material happiness is compared, there is no end. As long as you're not the best, you're going to suffer. But the thing is, there's always someone better than you.
Therefore, once people are accustomed to attaching importance to material happiness, people may have more and more, but on the contrary, they may live more and more unhappily.
In contrast, spiritual happiness does not have these problems.
First of all, the difficulty of mentally happy acquisition does not change much before and after
When you are a child, people around you will be very happy to praise you, and when you are older, you will also be very happy when others praise you; when you are a child, you are very happy to read a book, and when you grow up, you will also get happiness by reading a book.
Second, mental happiness is difficult to compare
Spiritual happiness is mainly the happiness brought about by one's own spiritual growth, which is a very individualized happiness, so it is difficult for people to compare.
You say that the happiness you bring with a book is compared to the happiness that others bring when they read a book. Certainly not comparable.
And because of the particularity of spiritual happiness, we can share our spiritual happiness without loss. And in the process of sharing, we can also get another share of the joy of sharing.
So spiritual happiness can make us more happy and make us feel happier in our lives.
How to cultivate children's spiritual happiness
Obviously, parents should cultivate their children's spiritual happiness and let their children develop the ability to get happiness from the spirit, so what should parents do?
In fact, the method is simple and simple, and it is difficult to say that it is difficult, depending on where your parents are more accustomed to getting happiness.
If your parents themselves pay more attention to material happiness, like to compare clothes, houses, cars, and usually reward their children with various toys and money, then your children will most likely form a preference for material happiness, and will be the same as you in the future.
But if parents pay more attention to spiritual happiness, like to read and play chess, plant grass and raise flowers, and usually take their children on a tour and adventure, and be helpful, then the children will form a preference for spiritual happiness.