In today's world, building an intimate relationship with a solid foundation is very challenging. The process is even more complicated than women gaining their rights.
According to a Covenant Times article, in 1970, 4 percent of wives earned more than their husbands, and in 2007, that number became 22 percent. Men are also increasingly likely to marry a wife who is more educated than themselves.
Many high-achieving women still worry that most men will feel threatened or weakened by their success. They worry that their fragile egos won't be able to get along with a partner who is on par with them or even more accomplished.
But, ladies, there's some good news here: Men don't call powerful women as much as we think. According to Psychology Today, many men are actively looking for women who are as accomplished as they are. In fact, they find it embarrassing to find a "beauty vase" that lacks connotation.
This shift is partly due to the fact that families now have to rely on the work of two people to gain a foothold in today's society. At the same time, social standards are increasingly shifting from seeing women as sexual objects to seeing equal gender. Men claim that not only will they get bored with their "vase wives," but their peers will also judge them negatively for such choices.
Li Wei, an executive of a non-profit organization from Sichuan, is also a wife and mother of two children. Her love of life, along with her infectious laughter, also infected others. Although she has followed a very traditional path for the vast majority of the past forty-one years, she has managed an unconventional marriage. She succeeds because she embraces taking risks, is willing to compromise, and is attentive to the needs and dreams of herself and her husband.
Li Wei met Yuhan when she was thirty-one years old, when she had a good job in the high-tech industry. Yuhan is very different, he is a passionate person - mountain bike enthusiast and marathon enthusiast, he pursues passion.
As Li wei puts it, "It's for love, not money". And, of course, his long hair and big beard. Parents and friends were surprised to find out that Li wei took their relationship very seriously. "Financially, Yuhan is not an ideal partner." But Li Wei "completely admired" the values of her life that Yuhan had chosen.
Two years later, she married Woohan. She acknowledges that the decision requires a lot of trust – for everyone. But if you marry someone who is more like herself, she could suffocate to death. She said: "Yuhan fulfills my need for risk rather than stability. I know that he will put the same true feelings and hearts into marriage and family as he did in the game, because he is this kind of person. ”
Li Wei and YuHan's relationship taught the two of them a lot of things, and YuHan pushed Li Wei to a whole new spiritual and psychological height. She is now more willing than ever to take part in adventurous activities. Li Wei felt that Yuhan benefited a lot from her cheerful, enthusiastic, and sociable personality, and learned from her to be honest and open and accept others.
Similarly, Yuhan's life is a bit extreme, and Li Wei's balanced and pragmatic daily life style helps him to slowly stabilize. Li Wei and Yu Han had two children shortly after their marriage.
Over the years, Levy has worked in the tech industry and covered most of the family's expenses, and Yuhan still pursues his athletic career while also sharing the family expenses. The imbalance in the burden of livelihoods has never affected them. Li wei wants to work and loves her job very much, and Yuhan works very hard – just earns less.
Li Wei said: "It's different from marrying a slacker. Yuhan didn't come for my money. He never thought about that. He loves adventure and constantly pushes his limits. He's done something that no one else on this planet has done, and I think it's remarkable. ”
Li Wei believes that one day YuHan will allow her to pursue her passion, and he will pay for the family's livelihood. In fact, a year ago, Levy decided to quit her job in the high-tech industry and go to a non-profit environmental organization. Although this meant that Li Wei's income was reduced, Yuhan still wholeheartedly supported her decision.
Over the past few years, Yuhan has also brought his enthusiasm into the sporting goods industry, and now he basically makes as much as his wife. Li Wei was happy to admit that she and Yuhan had also had difficult moments. Once, when he went out on a ten-day hike and she had to work, take care of the kids, and do all the housework, she began to think it was a bit too heavy.
At these times, Li wei consciously put aside the desire to do everything perfectly. Sometimes, money can also become a problem for Li Wei and Yu Han. She never doubted that she had made the right choice and married someone who was very happy with her current situation and what she was doing, not because of his income.
But at the same time, taking on the expenses of a house and two children does put her under a bit of pressure. "When I don't think about money, I'm lucky to have a life full of surprises with Yuhan." "But when it comes to paying a mortgage, I want to always have that positive feeling," she said. ”
Li Wei took the initiative to share with me a practice that she and Yuhan kept a strong marriage every year or every other year. "It's called an exchange meeting. We each asked ten questions and then answered the twenty questions listed. Some of the questions are very interesting, but some are very serious, like, 'What do you think we'll do in five years?' ''What if I make you crazy?' After giving our own answers, we would go out on the weekend and talk about it for hours. This is very good because in everyday life, we often forget to tell each other how good we think each other is. ”
When it comes to successful partnerships, Livi firmly believes in believing in herself and not listening too much to other people's opinions. "My relationship with Woohan wasn't perfect," Li wei said, "and I gave up financial stability to be with someone whose values and lifestyle were respectable and we had to make choices when we committed to marriage or other long-term relationships." ”