I have seen too many women, and their quality of life has plummeted after marriage, not because they have no money, but because they have no clue about some problems in their in-laws.
At first, they felt that as long as they regarded their mother-in-law as their own mother," but they didn't know why, no matter how much they paid, it wouldn't help, and their mother-in-law still didn't give herself a good look and looked for stubble all day long.
Later, they felt that they could end up clean without dealing with their mother-in-law, who ever thought that everyone around them pointed out to themselves, saying that they were an evil daughter-in-law and did not know how to respect their elders.
Such a married life makes them feel very depressed, as if they do not feel a little bit of beauty from marriage, and even some regret their original actions, they can't help but envy those who can live in the in-laws' house after marriage.
However, all the good is not accidental, and a person who lives well must have to make some effort, and finally be able to get good results.
Therefore, after getting married, women who "can eat well" in their in-laws' homes have these three "superiorities".
When getting along, don't be afraid to "tear your face"
I have seen a case: a woman said that when she first married, the first year of the New Year was spent in the in-laws' house, and when she was Chinese New Year's Eve, the whole family was keeping the year, and when it was almost time, they all fell asleep.
As a result, when it was still dark, she was woken up by her mother-in-law, saying that she wanted to get up to make dumplings as a family breakfast, in addition, the mother-in-law also settled her to wake up when she got up quietly, don't wake up her husband.
She already had the anger to get up, and when she heard this sentence, she was even more angry that she didn't come out, so why did she have to get up early as a daughter-in-law and serve the family with sleepy eyes, while her husband could snore like thunder.
The more she thought about this unfair treatment, the more angry she became, so she woke up all the family members, including her husband, sister-in-law, and children.
She had an idea, since she had decided to call herself, then it was good, she couldn't sleep well, and the whole family had to wake up with her.
As a result, since then, the in-laws have never had the tradition of making dumplings in the morning.
Seeing this, some people may feel that this woman's approach is a bit inappropriate, we can also change a gentle way of communication, in fact, ah, sometimes, a "dismount" from the easy others to see your tough.
In life, the reason why many women can't eat in their in-laws' homes is that they are too cowardly, embarrassed to tear their faces, feel that it is a blessing to suffer losses, and endure them for a while.
In fact, persimmons specialize in picking soft pinches, and when we show a weak side, the other party will naturally gain inches.
Therefore, only a woman who is not afraid to tear her face will get the respect she deserves in her in-laws' house.
Know how to maintain your own principles and bottom line
TV series "Know it or not. Sheng Shulan in "Know It or Not" married to Sun Xiucai's family, the family's servants and real estate are subsidized by the Sheng family, it is reasonable to say that Sheng Shulan's status in the in-laws' family should be very high, but it is not, the mother-in-law has been saying evil things to her all day, and she is sarcastic that she is an old hen who does not lay eggs.
Husband Sun Xiucai is also an incomplete instrument, spending all day drinking, drunk on Sheng Shulan domestic violence, however, Sheng Shulan every time she returns to her mother's home, she is determined to divorce Sun Xiucai, but every time she will be soft and forgive, so that there is no bottom line of kindness, and finally make Sun Xiucai and her mother-in-law more fearless and unscrupulous.
Kindness is originally a good thing, but if kindness is rampant, there is no principle, there is no bottom line, then kindness will become a hotbed that encourages others to be evil, and become a weak rib for others to hurt themselves.
Most of the women who live well in their in-laws' homes understand that kindness must grow teeth, and bottomless kindness will only hurt themselves in the end.
Therefore, they guard their boundaries with anger, so they also get the respect they deserve in their in-laws because they know how to respect themselves.
Do what you love to do
Never let your in-laws control your hobbies and interests, and never let yourself be wronged in order to cater to the in-laws' liking.
Because what we don't know is that when we decide to sacrifice our own interests for the so-called in-laws, in exchange for not gratitude, but for granted, you know, the in-laws and we have no blood relationship, in this world, except for our parents and ourselves, no one will hurt us because of what sacrifices we have made.
So, no matter who we are with, no matter who we end up marrying, we should not forget to please ourselves, respect our own preferences, do what we want to do, and don't be afraid to care about the eyes of others.
Haruki Murakami once said: "No matter what everyone in the world says, I think that my feelings are correct, no matter what others think, I will never disrupt my own rhythm, I can naturally stick to what I like, and I can't like it for a long time." ”
In short, when we learn to be selfish, we will find that the life that we thought about for ourselves can be so painful, people are very strange, and when we pursue the principle that suffering loss is a blessing, no one takes themselves seriously, and when they become selfish, they gain respect.