"My wife is fine, but I'm still in love with another woman," I couldn't believe when one of my male readers told me such a heartfelt thing.
He and his wife are college classmates, from the campus to the palace of marriage, from ignorant teenagers, to today's people to middle age, from nothing, to today's caravans and cars.
It is said that such feelings, after experiencing the ups and downs of life and the bittersweet and bittersweet, should be able to spend a lifetime happily.
However, he changed his mind, and he liked a financial accountant in his company, because he felt that she could help him in his career and send warm care when he was sad to be alone.
He asked me if I wanted a showdown with my wife, not a showdown is to deceive her, a showdown, and I am reluctant to let her work hard and with each other for so many years.
I was silent, and for a moment I didn't know how to answer him.
No one ever thought that there was a gentle and virtuous wife in the family, but they were still nostalgic for the flowers and plants outside.
If you abandon the moral bottom line, the wife is stubborn, always disrespectful to men, scolding men, and not good for men.
At this time, because they cannot experience happiness in the original marriage, it is understandable that men covet the warmth given to them by others.
However, the wife is very virtuous and very good to herself, but the man is still in love with other women, and this kind of behavior is a bit unsavory.
And the inner words of this married man also make us ponder deeply, whether marriage will really be consistent, whether the wife is good or not, will men empathize with each other?
These are all issues that require us to think seriously.
For irresponsible men, the wife is empty talk no matter how good it is
Sheng Shulan in the TV series "Do You Know It or Not" comes from a famous family, very virtuous, and very gentle, even if her husband has achieved nothing, she has never complained a little, and she is still filial piety to her in-laws.
However, even if Sheng Shulan was so good, her husband still betrayed her and was unclear with a Qinglou woman.
You said that if it is because Sheng Shulan is messing around and has fangs, men can't feel the happiness that marriage should have, but it can also be understood.
But Sheng Shulan has a beautiful appearance and a knowledgeable dali, and men still see different thoughts, so it means that this is not Sheng Shulan's fault, but the man's fault.
We always feel that as long as we are good enough to a person, as long as we give a lot, the other party will see and appreciate their own goodness, and then give back.
The truth is, it's all our own imagination.
The well-known psychologist Wu Zhihong told us in the book "Out of the Personality Trap": "Pay, there will be a return, in love is basically not established."
For those men who are careful and do not know what a sense of responsibility is, there is no difference between a good wife and a bad wife, because they lack a sense of responsibility and are doomed to fail to live up to the expectations of women.
Women still understand that loving themselves well is the only king
How many women have the phrase "I raise you" made give up their careers and willingly become the women behind successful men?
They are full of joy to be a snail girl, they want men to achieve their dreams without any worries, but in the end, "I raise you" has become "I borrow you".
Because men go out to earn money, they take it for granted that in this home, their own giving is the most, and they ignore how much women pay for this home in invisible places.
Betrayal, abandonment, condescension, arrogance, neglect of each other's feelings, disrespect, etc., are all things that a stay-at-home wife or housewife will experience.
Therefore, after experiencing the hurt, we will understand that in life, it is better to rely on anyone than to rely on themselves, and no matter when a woman is, it is the best way to love herself.
And how can women achieve it on their own?
The best way to do this is to achieve economic independence.
Carnegie once wrote in "Women's Patterns Determine endings": "Financially independent women, with their own ability to create happiness, do not need to please and rely on men." Marriage is just the icing on the cake for them. ”
When we earn our own money and spend it ourselves, we don't need to look up to people, and at this time, the men who betray themselves are not so indispensable to us.
In the face of men who see different ideas, it is better to stop losses in time than blind persistence
When we know that men still choose to empathize with each other when we have done nothing wrong, then what we need to do is to rethink each other's relationships.
What exactly is marriage?
Is it the Wind flower snow moon? Or chai rice oil and salt?
Not really.
Marriage is two different people, because the arrangement of fate came together, and then from the individual to become a community of destiny in the marriage, one is prosperous and the other is damaged.
At this time, we are happy or unhappy with each other, one person can not represent marriage, two people can create the desired happiness in marriage.
If the marriage has gone bad, if the person we trust has betrayed our trust and is not worth the time we can look forward to.
Then, marriage loses its meaning.
Lu Qi once said in "Love Needs Stop Loss": "In this world, what you want, you will get." If you get something you don't want, you have to throw it away in time, otherwise you will get more and more wrong. ”
Some things make sense to work hard, and some things, trying hard is just to make yourself sad and disappointed again.
Men change their minds, and we have no need to continue to persevere. Sometimes, stopping a stop in time makes more sense than blindly insisting.