Text/Blue Dream
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After the age of 60, people must learn to let go and do subtraction.
No matter how rich you are, that's all before. Your body and energy no longer allow you to fight as hard as you did when you were younger.
In this case, if you still cling to the original thing, or like to point out others as before, then the half will cause the children to resent. Out of gratitude, they may not be cold to you, but their hearts will gradually become distant.
People, indeed, should have the ambition of the old Ji Futuo to be in a thousand miles, but they should also stop in moderation, otherwise they may be hurt in the end.
Therefore, smart old people know that after the age of 60, regardless of whether their children are filial piety or not, the following things must not be done.
01 Meddling in the lives of children
There is a saying that children are children in front of their parents at any time. That being said, parents after the age of 60 should realize that their children have the ability to take care of themselves after years of ups and downs.
That is, they have long since grown up. If parents still confront them in the same way that they disciplined them as children, it will only make them feel constrained and uncomfortable.
Most importantly, few parents who enter the old age stage can keep pace with the times. In other words, at this time, parents give their children relatively little correct guidance, in this case, if parents insist on guidance, then it may cause different degrees of harm to the child.
For example, Fan Shengmei's parents in "Ode to Joy".
Influenced by the idea of son preference, they can't see their sons being poor, and they can't see their daughters not helping their sons. In their view, the daughter is to serve the child, as long as the son has needs, the daughter should be satisfied in time. If the daughter does not do it, then she is not filial piety.
This kind of thinking is old and outdated. It didn't help his son, making him a giant baby with no ability to survive, and eventually eliminated by the whole society. It was cruel for her daughter because she had to use all her strength to prop up a bottomless pit.
Therefore, if Fan Shengmei's parents want both children to be good, then they should let go and let their son grow up in a stucco - although this is a difficult thing for the son to do, but only in this way can he become a real man and become the pillar of his own family; let his daughter grow up in freedom - allow her to plan for her life.
And they didn't. So the blindly paid daughter looked at the gap between herself and her peers, felt more and more desperate, and finally, either lived like the walking dead, or completely escaped their shackles.
So the son who blindly knows only what he wants will never grow up and become the dependence of his wife and children.
Most importantly, both sons and daughters hate them. The daughter hates them for being eccentric, obviously they are all children, why do they not see her needs, and ask her to blindly pay, and even after she chooses to refuse, they still accuse her in a relatively harsh tone?
The son hated why they didn't respond to him as much as before, why they let their sister go and left him alone to face the trivialities of life.
Looking at the eyes of their children who hate themselves, how can they be comfortable? Have a safe day?
So in the end, whether it is a parent and a child, or the feelings between two children, it will slowly fade. Therefore, smart old people will gradually withdraw from their lives after their children grow up.
02 Blindly dependent on children
You raise me small, I raise you old. This is the best relationship between parents and children.
The problem is that the elderly cannot completely disregard the child's difficulties and blindly make demands on the child.
Know that your children are already fathers and mothers, and they have children to support. If parents are always selfishly dependent on their children, then their stress will be multiplied. In this case, they may not have too much blame on their parents, but most of them complain in their hearts.
Just like Su Mingcheng in "All Is Good" complained about Su Daqiang buying a house.
Fortunately, the Su family brothers and sisters are still quite capable, especially Su Mingyu. In the early years, she was not angry with her mother's eccentricity and chose to move out of the family.
Over the years, she gritted her teeth and persevered, even if she was bitter, she did not reach out to her parents for money. It is this strong character that makes her a superior person. So for her father's requirements, she can still meet.
The problem is that not everyone is as productive as the Su siblings. Most people are ordinary people, with an ordinary salary, greedily getting up early and busy. There are old people to take care of, children to take care of, and sometimes some unhappiness at work. Such a life has made countless middle-aged people feel broken. If at this time, the parents jump out to make trouble again, then you can imagine how difficult the life of this middle-aged person is.
Therefore, many viewers feel that Su Daqiang is more powerful. The increase in age did not make him wiser, but the more he lived, the more he resembled a child.
In "Send Me to the Clouds", Sheng Nan once said that immature parents are a disaster for their children.
In this world, whenever difficulties are encountered, children want to consult with their parents. Instead of asking for their support, they had the opportunity to talk, especially after they were seriously ill. And Sheng Nan's mother herself is still an immature child, in this case, she does not find things for herself to be Amitabha Buddha, where dare she be expected to contribute to herself?
But the torment of illness and the fear of the future made Sheng Nan really unbearable. She didn't know how to face it, and she didn't know how to learn to be calm, so she ran into walls like a tiger trapped in a cage all day, and she fell to the ground and bled.
Parents should realize that the child is not just their own child, he is also someone's husband or wife, the father or mother of a child, an employee of the company, and so on. In order to complete these roles, children have worked very hard, and themselves, it is best not to blindly add trouble to them, put too much demand on them, otherwise it will only make it more and more difficult for children to do.
Children should give their parents a pension, after all, they have paid for him. But the elderly should also realize that things should be done in moderation. If there is no measure, so many halves will cause dissatisfaction from children.
Like Su Mingcheng, it is okay to just complain verbally, if his own children are more stubborn, then most of the injured people are still themselves.
After the age of 60, whether the children are filial piety or not, they cannot blindly interfere in the lives of their children, cannot blindly rely on their children, regardless of their actual situation, and require them to blindly meet their wishes, otherwise they may no longer be able to have a happy old age.
May every elderly person live sober and happy.
END.