After middle age, don't get too close to relatives and friends, this is a very wise choice

Loved ones are thicker than water, broken bones and tendons, and we are people in this world who are connected by blood.

China pays attention to clan relatives, such as going to relatives' homes to visit the New Year during the New Year, such as inviting relatives to be guests when getting married, which shows that we attach importance to blood relations in our bones.

Therefore, we will feel that after people reach middle age, they should value family affection, have more contact with family affection, move around more, and help as much as they can.

However, not all family affection is worthy of our care.

Even if it is friendship, there are deep friendships and shallow friendships, not to mention that it is deeper than friendship and other family ties, which should be carefully screened by us.

After middle age, it is a wise choice not to get too close to relatives and friends.

Human tragedies and joys are sometimes not the same

If your relatives are doing particularly well, then when you get close to each other, the other party will think that you have no intentions for him or her;

If your relative is not doing as well as you, then, when you get close to the other person, the other person will think that you are not showing off, whether you are laughing at him or her.

In this way, there will be a lot more unnecessary contradictions, and the other party may not say anything on the surface, but the heart must be very repulsive to you, and even more will slander you behind your back.

This is human nature, and so is human nature.

Yu Qiuyu said: "In this world, no one can really empathize with the pain of another person. ”

Admittedly, just like Mr. Lu Xun's Xianglin sister-in-law, her husband died, her children were taken away by wolves, and she told others about her tragic experiences, but others only felt bored.

That's because human tragedies and joys are sometimes not connected.

We will be heartbroken and bitter because of a sad thing, but after all, this is only our own business, and it has nothing to do with others.

Others may sympathize and sigh, but they have not experienced what we have experienced, and they will never know how our wounds are festering.

So, instead of that, don't get too close.

People get too close to each other, and it doesn't make each other closer

Fan Shengmei in the TV series "Ode to Joy" has good looks, high emotional intelligence, and a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, but why has she worked in Shanghai for more than ten years and has no savings in her hand?

Not because she was extravagant, not because she spent a lot of money, but because she had most of her money to supplement the family.

Since Fan Shengmei started working, she has been raising a large family, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, parents, all of whom pointed to Fan Shengmei alone to earn money.

Fan Shengmei should not have done this, but she has been unable to distinguish the relationship between family affection and herself, making family affection eventually become her biggest drag.

In real life, there are not a few people like Fan Shengmei.

Most of their lives have suffered from the fact that they are too sensible, and they cannot distinguish between priorities and estrangement.

Of course, their so-called understanding is just to understand other people's affairs, but to understand the suffering of others, they attach too much importance to family affection, and they are too easy to be impressed by others.

When they are in conflict with others, these people will always obey the will of others, sacrifice their own interests for others, and never think about themselves.

Zhou Guoping said: "All exchanges have an insurmountable final boundary, between two people, this boundary is not clear, but it is certain, all troubles and conflicts arise from inadvertently trying to break through this boundary." ”

Even if it is affection, it is the same.

Family members also need a certain distance to maintain respect, too close, it will become a disaster.

Do you know? Gentlemen's friendship is as light as water, and so should relatives

When we grow up, we will settle down and establish a family, to marry and have children, to get married and marry, at this time, our focus should be on our own family, not on others.

Even if there is family affection, it should be based on oneself first, with one's own family first, and after dealing with these two things, if there is spare strength, it is not too late to take into account family affection.

Many relatives and friends do not interact with each other in the end, because they get too close, establish higher expectations, and find that reality does not meet expectations, they will break up.

Why should this be, it is better to have a gentleman's friendship as light as water at the beginning.

Don't get too close to each other, don't respond to requests, don't tell your pain, don't show off how good you are, say a few words of greeting when you see them, and occasionally contact when you don't see them.

In this way, family affection will not be too close, nor will it be too distant, and it is appropriate to maintain a distance that is not far away.

Sanmao once said: "Remember to always be yourself, walk your own path, and live your own life." Being able to do it for the rest of your life is the greatest joy. ”

You know, the real high emotional intelligence is never blindly to tolerate others, but to get along with yourself while also putting others in your heart. In this way, we will avoid many unnecessary contradictions.