You can have a bodhisattva heart, but use Vajrayogini

1

In the TV series "The First Half of My Life", the heroine Luo Zijun was divorced, she had no social viability, she ran into walls everywhere, and she was always a girlfriend Tang Jing helping her.

Before the divorce, there was no place to live, so I lived in Tang Jing's house.

When she was divorced, Tang Jing asked someone to help her find a lawyer.

When she needed to find a job, Tang Jing's boyfriend He Han helped her find it.

And Tang Jing only helped her, in addition to the deep love of girlfriends, there is also the intention of repaying gratitude. When Tang Jing was in trouble, it was Luo Zijun who always helped her, so when a good friend had difficulties, Tang Jingyi had no remorse.

When Luo Zijun went to work to squeeze the subway, his shoes fell off, and when he called Tang Jing's boyfriend He Han for help, he was refused.

Luo Zijun said to Tang Jing with hatred that he was not kind at all.

Tang Jing stepped forward for his good friend and asked He Han why he refused to help.

He Han has his own point of view: to help people is to be principled, some things should be helped, some things are not needed, this is like feeding a child, always compromise to feed him, he will never eat.

He Han used this metaphor to tell Tang Jing that you can't help your good friends in everything, otherwise your friends will never be independent.

The so-called bodhisattva heart, vajrayogini, this is the attitude that should be used towards friends and people you care about. He Han concluded.

Personal understanding of the meaning of this sentence should be that you can have a good heart, but not unrestrained blindly pay, when doing good, you must also have a degree, the means are behavior, and the behavior must be controlled. In other words, kindness must have a bottom line, and giving must be prioritized.

2

Some time ago, a reader named Ji Cao left a message that she had blacked out her friend, but she had been caught in self-blame.

While studying, Ji Cao had a boyfriend. The two were in love, but they did not know that her boyfriend was not really for her, and after graduation, he proposed to break up.

At that time, the students had already packed up and left the school, and Ji Cao could not think for a moment, so he swallowed sleeping pills in the dormitory.

Fortunately, a girl from the same room happened to come back to retrieve the items that had fallen, and saved her life.

Later, they became best friends, and they have always been in contact.

Ji Cao ran a company, and later got married and had children, and his life was very smooth.

The girl was in a terrible state, had no fixed job, had been divorced twice, and during which there was a financial breakdown, and it had been The season grass was receiving help.

In Ji Cao's subconscious, without her, there might not be a self now.

And her friend also figured this out, began to increase the number of raids on her, when homeless, he ran to Ji Cao's house to eat and live, and from time to time he told Ji Cao his tragic story, so that Ji Cao had no choice but to endure.

However, the last thing that Ji Cao could tolerate came up, and her husband said angrily, let your friend go immediately, don't dangle in front of my eyes.

Ji Cao finally realized the seriousness of the problem, issued an eviction order to her friend, unexpectedly, her friend sent this matter to the circle of friends, as a result, all the classmates knew that Ji Cao had a light life, and then ungrateful.

Ji Cao said indignantly that people's hearts are sinister, which really surprised me.

In fact, it is not the people's hearts, but the bottomless payment of the season grass, which encourages the greed of the other party. You are kind and you pay, but you must also pay attention to scale and strategy, otherwise you are just a good old man, and a bad one will be completely denied.

What is kindness?

The German philosopher Immanuel Kant said that intelligence, cleverness, judgment, and other talents in the mind, or qualities such as courage, determination, perseverance, etc., are undoubtedly good and desirable in many respects.

For goodness, this philosopher has given many good longings, longing for all the positive qualities in the world, which are good, but there is no clear word on how to give goodness.

I once read such a sentence in a book, when your kindness has no bottom line, no one will pay attention to your efforts, because they regard you as a bodhisattva, you do not purify sentient beings, who will cross?

The content of that book has long been forgotten, but this sentence has always been imprinted in my mind.

There is nothing wrong with kindness, but if there is no willpower for goodness, and there are no principles in behavior, then goodness is overflowing, and it is not enough to worry about not being valued, and if it encourages the dependence and greed of the other party, it is the most rewarding.

3

You have a bodhisattva heart, but you must use vajrayogini to do good, otherwise the goodness is endless and still not flattering.

In the TV series "Ode to Joy", which was just broadcast some time ago, Fan Shengmei has been subject to her brother-in-law because it is not easy to pity her parents, not only has she been in a bad situation, but also let her brother and sister-in-law have a reason to be lazy, so that her parents have capital to rely on.

The case of Fan Shengmei is not limited to the drama, but also abounds in real life.

One of my girlfriends once fell into this strange circle, her mother favored her sister, and has always asked for money from her to help her sister, because they are her closest relatives, and she is soft-hearted, and there is no reason not to help.

For a while, the company was in a slump, the capital turnover was not good, so she did not give money to her mother, and her mother actually ran to the company to sit on the ground and cry, calling her a white-eyed wolf and raising her father and mother.

She was so angry that she almost jumped off the building, or her husband had a relatively high IQ, and said to her mother-in-law in frustration, we are bankrupt, and we may have to sell the house and move to your place.

When her mother heard about it, she quickly got up from wiping her tears and took small steps home without a single phone call.

Friends say that no matter how kind the heart is, what kind of relatives the other party is, to help for a while and not to help a lifetime, there must always be a degree, otherwise the bottomless payment is the behavior of the mentally handicapped.

Whether it is for relatives or friends, you can have a bodhisattva heart, but you must use Vajrayogini means, goodness and tao, and moderation, which is the most important attitude to relatives and friends.