Hello, I'm Thea Mom.
Today's article is a summary of the past year. I originally wanted to write the summary and publish it on the tail of December 31, 2021, but now that almost a week has passed, my summary is still on the way.
This week, the baby was sick, had a serious cold, tears and snot flowed, may be a little inflammatory, and later caused a fever, although it was a low fever, but also let the mother's nervousness for several days, the condition stabilized before the mood to lift the pen.
What did I do in 2021?
1, I became a "back nurse mother"
This year, the most impressive thing is "back milk".
Two days before the Spring Festival, I started working after taking maternity leave and became a "mother with a back" . Every day at 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock, I would lock the office door, close the curtains, take out the prepared breast pump and milk storage bag, and after sucking the milk, put it in the ice bag I brought and refrigerate it, so that I could take it back to the baby after work.
Pumping in the office, more or less awkward, although our office is all women, but because other people do not have children, can not experience the embarrassment of this pumping. Especially sometimes someone knocks on the door to do business, and they always feel that they are sucking milk and disturbing people's offices.
What's even more uncomfortable is that sometimes one job after another comes rushing in, and I don't have time to suck, and I will be very uncomfortable, like sitting on a needle felt. The consequences of the milk swelling and not being able to suck it out in time are also very serious, that is, the milk volume is constantly decreasing, and the baby's rations are not guaranteed.
The experience of working mothers carrying milk has given me a new understanding and understanding of the title of mother.
Many people recommend breastfeeding your baby to more than one or two years old, but this requirement is simply too difficult for working mothers, don't set yourself any time to wean, let nature be the best time.
2. Pick up the book again and write a review
I've always had a habit of writing book reviews, and that's how I've always studied. Because writing a book review can prompt me to read books, integrate the knowledge in the book into my own things, and be able to remember more firmly.
But when I was 8 months pregnant, my body was too uncomfortable, the back was always faintly tingling, and the numbness in the left hip caused by the herniated lumbar disc made it difficult for us to sit at the desk for a long time and type, so I hardly wrote anything later.
After giving birth to a child, it is even more impossible to write, and time is simply squeezed dry by the child.
My baby's high demand, especially after the confinement, simply hangs on the mother, and the father can't hold it. This situation lasted until the baby was five or six months old, when it was ready to go to work, the grandmother came to help, and then the baby and the grandmother stayed longer during the day, and began to change from simply relying on the mother to being able to rely on the mother and the grandmother.
Maybe you will say, Daddy does not top it? It's really not, it's that the baby doesn't want her father, and her father can only do some housework, such as helping the baby wash clothes, cooking and washing dishes, and when it is done, she will stare at the baby. But as long as the baby can't see her mother, such as going to the bathroom, taking a shower, she will cry.
It wasn't until she was almost a year old that her father found a sense of presence, because the child was finally willing to let his father accompany him, or read picture books, or take them out to play, let her mother rest at home, write something, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Since September, I have been reading books, writing book reviews, writing parenting essays frequently, re-recording my daily small blessings and problems, and starting to have social and time again.
If you want to quantify, I read about 47 books and wrote more than 55 articles related to personal growth and parenting. 4 months, with such a record, it is quite satisfactory.
3. On-the-job graduate students
I immediately started my graduate school classes after I was out of confinement.
This is a publicly-funded graduate school project, as long as we pass the national graduate examination and interview, after admission, Shanghai universities will arrange teachers to come to us every month to give us classes, belongs to the on-the-job graduate students, after passing the thesis defense, there are double certificates.
At that time, the examination and research was also very painful, the discomfort of pregnancy, the chores at home, and all kinds of work were piled up together, but every night I guaranteed three hours to brush the questions, fortunately, the efforts paid off.
It is said that after three years of pregnancy, I obviously feel that my intelligence and energy value are reduced, because I often stay up late with my baby, and I often have the feeling of my head and the rhythm of many teachers when I go to class.
But fortunately, I persevered, and reading books can indeed broaden myself, including my vision and state of mind.
Teachers in Shanghai universities have brought a lot of new ideas and perspectives, so that I am no longer limited to the daily trivialities of children, limited to the acres and acres in front of me, and learn to look at things and see problems with the eyes of growth.
4. Get praise for your work
The specific work is not much to say, but when doing a good job, I did not expect that the leader helped apply for a reward, all of a sudden it was a citywide reward, and I also got a 3,000 yuan bonus, of course, this is a windfall.
It also encouraged me, working moms, to have two battles, one in the workplace and one in parenting, and we can both do well.
In 2021, I regret the most
One of the regrets: not giving the baby a growth diary.
Originally, I planned to start from the pregnancy, record the process of conceiving a baby in the form of a handbook, and prepare a beautiful notebook.
But as soon as the baby was born, the matter was left behind.
Because the baby needs you all the time, before the age of one, the maximum record of waking up in the middle of the night can reach five, six, seven or eight times, and then every day I can fall asleep tired and paralyzed. Then I had a hard time relaxing, and I wanted to brush my phone to watch the drama, but the time was gone.
Therefore, in 2021, because of his laziness and procrastination, he failed to record many important moments of the baby, so that many beautiful things were slowly forgotten, a bit regrettable.
Regret two: ignoring the child's feelings and her father's feelings.
After giving birth to a baby, I obviously felt that the order of our husband-wife relationship suddenly ranked behind the parent-child relationship.
My focus is all on the child, the child's needs, crying, laughter, etc. Especially the soft and cute baby, let people flood with maternal love, in the process of kissing and hugging the baby, the intimate relationship needs have been compensated, and there is no need for each other.
Usually, the topic revolves around what the child did today, what progress he made, how to deal with illness, how to decorate the new home, and so on.
The few heart-to-heart moments I had with my child and her father this year should have been on the night when the baby woke up in the middle of the night and did not sleep, the baby was playing in bed, and the two of us lay there chatting.
In 2022, I want to do the best thing
In the new year, I have a lot of things I want to do, and I accidentally listed a lot of plans, but the time and energy are very limited, I filtered out what I should do and what I want to do, and set up a Flag for 2022, hoping that at the end of the year, I can not fall the flag, thank you for this self at the beginning of the year.
1. Continue to record the sweet and sour on the way to parenting
Here continue to code words, record the various confusions and solutions encountered by themselves and their friends on the road to parenting, and also record the beauty and touch, madness and collapse on the road to parenting, catharsis, mutual understanding, mutual support, and mutual healing.
2. Maintain the habit of reading
Continue to read a variety of picture books, parenting books, learning and growth books, in the process of cultivating yourself, but also for parenting as a reference, truly so that children and mothers grow together.
2. High-quality baby companion
The child is older, the demand is more, and it is also a kind of learning for parents, so remind yourself that try not to brush the mobile phone in front of the child for a long time to ensure high-quality accompaniment of the child.
3, with a baby can not ignore the relationship between husband and wife
Westerners usually put conjugal relationships in front of parent-child relationships, and we usually do the opposite. In fact, think about it, a good husband and wife relationship will actually affect the harmony of the entire parent-child relationship and affect the growth and development of the child, so with a baby, you can't ignore the relationship between husband and wife.
4. Exercise more
In the year of pregnancy and childbirth, many physical problems have been exposed, frozen shoulder, cervical spondylosis, low back pain, etc., and physical discomfort makes many planned things unable to be completed as scheduled. So in the new year, the goal is to exercise your body well.
5. Learn to control emotions
This is a permanent topic, sometimes emotions suddenly explode, they get angry, say the wrong thing to realize, easy to hurt others hurt themselves, adults, learn to control emotions is too important. Try to be slower and remind yourself that when emotions come, don't be in a hurry and stabilize.
6. Write a good graduation thesis
Graduate studies will end in June this year, followed by an opening report, a thesis writing... A series of things around the thesis are the highlights of this year, which are related to the graduation certificate and the future career development, which must be invested twelve points of energy.
Writing the goal column plan in this way seems to be very broad, and the next time I use the SMART principle mentioned by the graduate class teacher many times, the goal list is specific, quantitative, and operable.
What have you done in the past year, what regrets you have, what special things you want to do in 2022, welcome to pay attention, let's talk about it together.