When you meet a very capable working mother outside, there will always be people who can't help but ask, "How do you balance family and work?" "It's strange that very few people ask Dad that, and that's social prejudice.
In a public speech, Dayao said this passage, which I am particularly impressed by to this day:
Society is very demanding of women,
If you choose to become a working woman,
Someone will say,
You don't care about your family,
If you choose to become a stay-at-home mom,
And someone will say,
Having children is a woman's duty,
It's not a career.
I have to admit that men and women are more likely to tie women and children together than women, as if women are born to take care of their families, and men are born to support their families.
Let's not talk about the domestic, look at the family in the developed countries abroad, what kind of operation mode is it?
A friend of mine settled in Germany and has 2 babies, the biggest difference with The country is that Germany is a young parent with a baby, in the community, in the park, in public places, either the mother full-time with the baby, or the father with the baby full time, and in China, most of them are the elderly with the baby.
Why this is so, I think it is inseparable from several factors:
1. Traditional concepts are deeply rooted
In China, family, family, and affection are regarded very, very seriously, and at the same time, in the traditional concept of the older generation, it is believed that grandmas should bring grandchildren, and which grandmother does not bring grandchildren will be considered not to be a good grandmother.
2. Machismo
In China, there is also a deep-rooted belief that men should be the economic pillar of the family, they should focus on making money, washing and cooking with children, that is the work of women, and men doing these will be considered to eat soft rice.
3. Social welfare
There is also a very realistic point, the current social welfare in the country is far less than that of developed countries, the childcare allowance in developed countries can solve part of the daily expenses of the family, which makes 1 person work to support the whole family, naturally there is no need to ask the elderly to come to help, the husband and wife who have a high income, continue to work, the other party can bring the baby.
Looking at "how to balance family and work" through a global perspective, this question seems to have very Chinese characteristics, and it may only be asked in China, in fact, this question does not need to be answered.
No superhuman mother can balance family and work well, earn money and raise children, and need family members to work together to divide and cooperate, relying on the strength of the team, not on the strength of the individual, otherwise it will be very difficult.
In Recent years, with the infiltration of international culture and the rapid rise of women's self-awareness, the matter of child-rearing has slowly ceased to have a gender color.
I see that now there are not only many dual-career families, child-rearing, work together, there are also many full-time mothers, take the initiative to sacrifice their careers, return to the family, but also a lot of full-time fathers, they see the wife's efforts, in order to support the wife's career, willing to take the initiative to take on the heavy responsibility of childcare, not afraid of gossip.
Therefore, whether it is a working mother or a working father, don't ask people "how to balance family and work", there is a social unit called "home", they will be logical and self-consistent.
So, whether you choose to be a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home dad, you're not fighting alone, and your value is as important as working outside the home to earn money to support your other half.