Recently, the story of a boy in Chengdu helping a classmate pick up something was stuck on the hot search.
The cause was that when the boy helped his classmates pick up things, he accidentally stuck his hand into the manhole cover. After the boy's hand was stuck, the classmate felt that it was a little late and went home by himself.
Reluctantly, the boy had to call 119 himself for help. Listening to the boy's complaints, the firefighters who came to help him couldn't help but laugh. They quipped to the boy: "This friend is also too unreasonable", and the boy could not help but sigh: "What a brother, I have to call for help myself."
In the face of this situation, netizens can't help but complain. This is the legendary plastic friendship, but this untestable friendship boat overturned and let it overturn.
Netizens who have had similar experiences also shared their stories in the comment area, and it seems that many people have suffered the loss of "friends" in the process of growing up.
Some netizens said that such an experience is actually quite good, which is also a lesson for the boy, I hope he can remember it for a long time in the future, not everyone's help can help, and help others at the same time to ensure their own safety. Some people call this kind of friend "Liu Xin-style friend", the relationship is very good on weekdays, the friendship boat is stable, but once there is a big wind and waves, he will push his friend to the front to cover the wind and rain, in front of the "poisonous friendship", the friend is used to use.
As the saying goes, "Things are clustered in groups, and people are divided into groups", what a person looks like, you can roughly judge it by looking at the friends around him. In the world of children, the same is true. For a child, the influence of friends on him should not be underestimated.
The social world of children, like adults, has the harmony of companionship, the hurt of arguments, and even isolation and exclusion, jealousy and bullying... For parents, we can accept children quarreling and conflicting with friends, but none of us want our children to be in the company of "poisonous friendship" and become a shield and ladder for people with hearts.
So, what kind of friendship can be called a poisonous friendship? In Psychology Today, parenting expert Dr. Eileen Leonard summarized the following characteristics of "toxic friendship":
In a friendship, the child not only does not make progress, but also has the idea of disgusting himself;
The child's self-confidence is severely hit, and he loses interest in what he once liked;
Children are often unhappy and even cry often;
Friendship is unequal, and there is always a situation where one party needs to please the other;
The opinions of one party in a friendship relationship are always not taken seriously, and are often even ridiculed and despised.
For example, if the two children are "friends", A needs B to prove his loyalty to this friendship by obedience, and "obedience" means that B needs to obey A's words, even to do bad things.
Remember an incident that occurred in Zhejiang before, 12-year-old girls Lingling and Jie Jie lost the "Truth or Dare" game and were encouraged by their friends to jump into the river. When they arrived at the rushing river, Lingling and Jiejie were very scared and did not dare to go down the river. The friends who played the game together have been surrounding them with all kinds of provocations and encouragements. In the end, stimulated by the words of these "friends", Lingling and Jiejie both jumped into the river, Jiejie was fortunate to be rescued, but Lingling drowned.
Can such a friend be called a friend? Can such a friendship be called friendship?
A mother on the Internet shared the story of her daughter, and the mother said that for a while her daughter's table often had to borrow her daughter's transcription and do it because she couldn't find a homework paper. But for days, the mother found blank papers with the names of her daughter's tablemates in the garbage cans at home. The mother realized the complexity of the problem, and only after communicating with her daughter did she know, because adults always compared her with the same table on weekdays, saying that she was inferior to the classmate, and for a moment of jealousy, she quietly hid the test papers at the same table in her bag every day and took them home to throw away. Fortunately, the mother found the clue to the matter, and also knew the reason why her daughter did this, quickly reviewed herself, and asked the whole family to no longer compare her daughter with the same table, which made her daughter stop from the cliff, face up to her mistakes and correct them.
As each child grows up, there are two relationships that have a huge impact on them: one is a parent-child relationship, and the other is a social relationship. Especially when children start to study in school, they will deal with others, make friends to varying degrees, and constantly learn how to build friendships and maintain friendships.
As parents, we must not think that making friends is a child's business, and we do not pay attention to the child's social circle. In addition to caring about the child's learning situation every day, we recommend that parents take a little time to ask the child whether he is happy every day, ask him about getting along with teachers, classmates and friends, and understand whether there are any social problems that need parental help. Only by asking more, talking more, and understanding more can we go deeper into the child's heart, understand his real dynamics every day, and reach out in time when he needs help.