01
Parents always want to give their children the best, but they can't socialize instead of their children.
Recently, the second-instance trial of Jiang Ge's mother Jiang Qiulian v. Liu Xin has attracted the attention of countless people. Once again, let us start to think deeply about the harm caused by "poisonous friendship" to children, and Jiang Ge paid the price of his life for it.
Yes, "poisonous friends" are more poisonous than poison, as parents, we must help children identify true friends and refuse to be close to poisonous friends.
02
After half of the first semester, my daughter was sullen for a long time as soon as she arrived at the end of school, so I often advised her not to be preoccupied, not stingy, and not to be glassy.
However, during one of the bathes she was taking, she suddenly burst into tears and told me, "Mom, I've been upset and held back for many days, but I still want to tell you, because you said that we are not only mother and daughter, but also the best girlfriends." ”
Looking at my daughter with two tears in her eyes and a look of grievance, I hurried to ask in a whisper what was wrong.
My daughter said: "I have always regarded Yeon Yeon as my best friend, I have earned stars by myself, and then I have come to the teacher to get gifts and food, I will share half or more of it with her every time, but she never considers my feelings." Every time I played games between classes, she demanded that I had to listen to her, and if I didn't listen to her, she would tell the class not to play with me.
I never said I wouldn't play with my poor grades, and you and dad never taught me that. But she spread rumors everywhere that I didn't play with other classmates on weekdays because I hated their poor grades. I often only play with her because I really treat her as a good friend and don't want her to feel bad because I go to play with others, but she says this about me.
That's nothing. Recently, the class has been playing a game of gopher, but she has to be a gopher every time, but she always lets me a local rat. The local rat is the local rat, and I didn't want to think about it, but she always hit me the back and head through the game, and every time she hit me very painfully. Now I say I don't want the local rats anymore, and she threatens me again, and the local rats will cut off sex with me for the rest of their lives. ”
I was both heartbroken and angry. Tell your daughter to stay away from this kind of person and not to play together in the future. The daughter said, "But even so, I still want to play with her." ”
I'm really angry when I hear this, isn't this just looking for abuse?
I closed my eyes, sighed, and told my daughter solemnly, "She has done all this, why do you still want to play with her?" In addition to her, there are 35 classmates in the class, why do you have to play with her? Mom and Dad would rather you have no friends than make such poisonous friends! ”
03
Which friends are considered poisonous friends? What kind of friendship is a poisonous friendship?
(1) People who are too jealous.
Fans said that her daughter has been the class leader since the second grade, and this year the third grade also joined the school brigade committee. As a result, her best friend, a little girl who has been in the same class since kindergarten, began to bully her daughter in various ways because of jealousy.
For example, she often deliberately damages her daughter's beloved stationery, often slaps her daughter, and comes home from school where she is slapped.
The girl was in charge of the whole team after school, and she would always walk up to her daughter when she was in the line and say to her daughter, "You're not so great." "The whole class of girls, she would just suddenly come and pull my daughter when she was in the whole team, saying that my daughter was not standing neatly.
At first, I told my daughter that the problems between the children would be solved by themselves, and it turned out that when I was in physical education class, I beat my daughter with a rope, and the marks on her hands did not disappear for several days.
I couldn't stand it anymore and went to her mother, and her mother gave me feedback that the little girl said that my daughter was too proud. I told my daughter that we should not let such a friend stay away from her, and that the jealousy of such a young child was so frightening.
(2) People who have no moral bottom line.
Almost every year after the college entrance examination, we can see individual reports about the college entrance examination volunteer being maliciously tampered with.
There is a girl named Xiaolan (pseudonym) in Hangzhou who dreams of being admitted to a media university, and could have been admitted after checking the score of the college entrance examination, but she did not.
After she called the admissions office to inquire, she realized that someone had logged into the volunteer reporting system with her account and tampered with her volunteer. And the tamperer is no one else, it is her good friend Xiao Ke (pseudonym).
When asked about the motive for the crime, Xiao Ke said very plainly: "I am all for her!" It's a shame to go to this university with her ability, and I hope that she won't be admitted this time, and if she repeats it for another year, she can go to a better university. I'm a piece of good heart..."
Her kindness caused her friend to study hard for ten years but fell behind Sun Shan. Such "kindness" is really shocking.
(3) People who are too strong.
Some netizens shared the real things that happened to their son -
"My son is in first grade, and he's a girl at the same table. My son is a little more introverted, and the girl often takes my son's book, notebook or paintbrush, copies my son's homework, and blames my son for doing something wrong. I also took my son's red pen, took it and took it back to her brother and did not return it to my son.
My son hated her so much that I patiently instructed him at first to get along with his tablemates. Later, when I found out that it was not possible, I asked my son to go and tell the teacher to change seats and not to share the table with her.
The back changed seats, my son saw this girl on the road and turned his head, he didn't want to look at it, it should be that his heart was already hated to the extreme.
I don't teach my son to reason now, and I immediately say no to people and things I don't like. Of course, we will still teach not to take the initiative to cause trouble, not to bully people, but also not to let others bully. ”
Another netizen said:
"We have a poisoned child upstairs. In order to achieve His ends, He first orders our children, and if our children do not obey His commands, they use threats, insults, and even join forces with other children to beat him to achieve His purposes.
At first, I didn't find out, but when I found out, I explicitly forbade my child to play with him, and if I played with such a child for a long time, I would definitely have problems in my heart. ”
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The most dangerous thing about "poisonous friends" is that there are always ways to make people feel inferior, anxious, and uncomfortable, thus eroding a person's sense of self and damaging his mental health.
The Jiang Ge case is an example, away from poisonous friendship, parents must also care about what friends their children make, intervene and guide in a timely manner, and a friend of good quality can indeed make children progress and grow up healthily.